vegansaurus!

Calorie count cage match: KFC Double Down vs. Vegan Double Down

Everyone and their dog knows that the KFC Double Down is cardiac arrest in sandwich form, and our vegan version isn’t doing much better. But we at least would never lie to you. Kill you, quite possibly, but never lie.

Unlike KFC, who would do both. Their marketing materials had clocked their version in at a lean-and-mean 540 calories and 32 grams of fat (practically diet by fast food standards), and now CityRag is calling bullshit. By their math, using published nutritional data, the KFC Double Down’s real calorie count? 1190 calories and 86 grams of fat—over twice as much as advertised.

So, not that you should care, I thought I’d run the numbers for one serving of our version to see how it stacks up.

• 2 Gardein Chick’n Scallopini patties: 180 calories, 4g fat
• 2 Tbsp Vegenaise: 180 calories, 18g fat
• 25 percent of the batter recipe (plenty for one sandwich): 225 calories, 25g fat
• 2 oz Follow Your Heart Monterey Jack: 140 calories, 14g fat
• 3 strips Smart Bacon with cooking oil:  60 calories, 8g fat

Grand total: 785 calories, 69g fat. I think that means, we win! Or, we lose! Also, let’s be realistic. Neither of these counts include the vat of fryer oil we’re using. So add another 300 to 500 calories to both those numbers.

Moral of the story? There is none. Life isn’t Beatrix Potter, and sometimes we eat stuff that might kill us. The end. As long as it’s only killing ourselves without dragging any animals along for the death ride, I don’t see the problem. You know what, I think there is a moral after all. Mentos!

[link via Bacon-loving Hipsters Can Kiss My Vegan Ass]

Vegansaurus goes to another trendy sandwich place in the Mission

We field-tripped to Dagwood & Scoops today. Not because Thrillist told us to (yarg), but because we happened to be hankering for some Pal’s after a meeting at Uptown Almanac HQ and saw it first (Sorry Pal’s!).

While it does cater to a meat-and-cheese audience (plug your ears if your delicate sensibilities “don’t come to a vegan blog to hear about” this, but by all means continue to shop at supermarkets), they are appropriately vegan-friendly for their zipcode, and definitely more so than Pal’s or Kitchenette or whatever.

There is at least one totally vegan sandwich on the menu at all times (the $7 “Hum-Baby” with hummus, peppers, artichoke hearts, tomato & basil), plus several veggie options easily veganized. Of these, I’m going to have to recommend the “Paulie’s Vegwood”—the veg version of the namesake sandwich (a meatstravaganza of East Coast proportions.)

The Vegwood (hold the Swiss cheese) comes on a toasty roll, with a huge amount of hummus, olive tapenade, marinated artichoke hearts, sprouts, avocado, pepperoncini, and probably some other shit I’m forgetting because it was a big-ass epic sandwich. It was seriously the neverending sandwich. It’s also $10, but I’m going to say worth it. I’m super full, every bite was enjoyable, and $14 for a good sandwich and a kombucha (they sell GT’s—the Mountain Dew of the West Coast) was in my budget for today, if maybe not every day.

Oh and guess what else! They sell WHOLE PACKAGES of Newman-O’s! Including PEANUT BUTTER NEWMAN-O’S!! I mean, what!?? But I’m not complaining! I didn’t buy any but I wish I did!

Newman-O’s!! With your sandwich!

[photos by Megan Allison]

Hong’s Kitchen: Outer Sunset doesn’t completely suck!

Ahh, ze French fry! Hoh hoh hoh! Zis ees mah french ax-awnt!

Sorry. I wish I were Parisian most days, and it is painfully obvious that I’m not. Regardless, I have more experience with the tried-and-true fry than the French have with annoying Americans (might be a lie). Once you’ve eaten fries at pretty much every food-slinging establishment in the Midwest due to lack of options, you start to either 1) develop a refined palette for deep-fried potato sticks, or 2) never want to eat a goddamn fry again. Now that I’m in a veg-friendly city, I haven’t had many fries due to the presence of more complex vegan food (read: big-ass burritos), but I never shun them. NEVER. And I know a good fry when I eat one.

Jesus, get on with it. The POINT is that I came across some fries lately, and not just any, but perhaps the best French fries I’ve had to date (of the classic variety—sweet potato and waffle fries are a different story altogether), and they’re right by my house. The craftsmen/women/people slice the potatoes up right when you order, deep-fry them on the spot, and coat them in so much beautiful salt, just for you. The fry-filled oasis is Hong’s Kitchen (or Dong’s, as the locals/I lovingly call it), and it’s the shit. Well, the Chinese food is kinda subpar and not worth your time, but shoooot, the fries are good! You get a takeout container overflowing with them—the lid won’t even close—and they’re so hot and delicious that when you greedily try to eat one (and you will), you’ll probably burn your mouth and/or esophagus. But it’s worth it. Enjoy anytime you need a sturdy $2 meal (around drinking times is good), and top with Tapatio, mustard, ketchup, Vegenaise, or whatever else you like. I’m a condiment whore, so I’ll take it all. You can also grab a 40 at the nearby convenience store (they are very nice people!) and have the best dinner that $4 can buy.

Oh, also, Dong’s is way the hell out by the beach so good luck dragging your ass out there. I’m really just throwing it in your face that I’m sitting on a French fry goldmine. *cue maniacal laughter* OUTER SUNSET FOR LIFE (or until my lease is up).

They’re also closed on Wednesdays, so don’t get stoned and try to call in an order. You’re going to be disappointed. Believe me.

Rhea’s Deli: Get a vegan chicken sandwich delivered to your face!

Word on the street is that Rhea’s Deli delivers. What the street is leaving out is that Rhea’s can deliver a vegan chicken sandwich with a spicy asian barbecue sauce and all sorts of pickled things on it. Friend of Vegansaurus Joel tried it and liked it very much, and that fucker hates everything so you should get on it. PLUS HELLO DELIVERY.

Of course there isn’t any mention of the vegan sandwich in the Yelp reviews so as soon as you eat one, write one and tell people what’s up! And let them know where you heard about it! Which was here! Even if it wasn’t, we need the hits! Unless you want us to go away! Oh my god, that’s what you want, isn’t it!? TOO BAD I’M NEVER LEAVING WE’LL DIE IN THIS SHITBOX TOGETHER.

Cheers!

UPDATE: Jonas tried the sandwich and confirmed that it’s the BOMB and to ask for it mild spicy unless you’re hardcore. Here is a picture of half of it because it was so tasty, he couldn’t stop to blog. Solid.

Rosamunde in the Mission: it’s a vegan sausage fest!

Some of you may be familiar with the venerable Rosamunde Sausage Grill in the Lower Haight. It’s only about 20 square feet, but between it and its next-door neighbor, Toronado, I have spent many a perfect Saturday afternoon eating vegan sausage and drinking beer (don’t judge!). Now, Rosamunde has opened a brand-spanking-new Mission location (at 24th and Mission Streets), complete with their very own beer list AND seating for, well, more than the four people the Haight Street location can accommodate.

First things first: Rosamunde is not a primarily vegan location. They serve meat sausages of ALL KINDS, and many people may choose to pass based on that, which is cool, because it just leaves more vegan sausages for me!

Rosamunde has a very simple concept: grilled sausages of various kinds on fresh french rolls with a choice of select toppings for around $6 and a close proximity to beer. The rolls are always super-fresh and delicious, and the toppings pretty much rule: grilled onion, sweet peppers, hot peppers (or a mixture of both), sauerkraut, and a range of mustards and ketchup. The Haight Street Rosamunde offers one vegan sausage: it’s a Tofurky variety (though I can never tell which kind—I think maybe the beer brat), and it’s good, but there’s only the one kind. The new Mission spot offers a selection (!!!) of vegan sausages, which is fancy and makes having only a single option look like communist Berlin. When we ate there last night, the ol’ ball and chain had an apple sage dealy, and I had the kielbasa. The menu lists the vegan sausage as a “daily offering,” so I am going to optimistically interpret that to mean that they will offer a range of vegan sausages and be receptive to trying out new ones. YOU HEAR THAT, ROSAMUNDE?

In addition to sausages, the Mission location also offers vegan baked beans, fries, the biggest, most obscene-looking pickles that you’ve ever seen, and vegan split-pea soup. They also have a sausage platter that includes a sausage (or two), baked beans, and salad. Oh, and beer. They focus on quality, craft beers, and lots of their stuff on tap is of the strong persuasion. Handily, they list the alcohol content right next to the names and prices. OH! And (I almost forgot these) they also have Helwa vegan wafers in three or four different varieties. It’s a nice touch, especially if you get the kind of PMS I get where you need to have sugar, salty and booze in your mouth all at once. Handy!

The atmosphere of the place is something like “German Hunting Lodge with DJ playing an odd mix of Dead Kennedys and Hot Water Music with friendly tattooed hipster counter person.” Sounds odd, yes, but it works. There are lots of long tables with benches for cramming many people in, and boy were there lots of people crammed in when we hit it up last night. Hopefully it’ll calm down a bit once it’s not so new, but for now at least, be prepared to wait 15 minutes or so for your sausage, which is okay, since they have all that beer.

The only complaint I have about this place (besides all the meat, which, let me clarify, sucks, but I’d rather have meaty places acknowledge, accommodate, and respect vegans than not) is that while they are open for breakfast (and even offer free coffee with breakfast! AMAZING), they don’t have a vegan breakfast sausage. Their current breakfast offering is a breakfast sausage with egg and cheddar. I know I’d be pretty happy to have a breakfast sausage with Cheesly and tomato and onion or something. JUST SAYING, ROSAMUNDE!

Nature’s Express, a vegan fast food joint, comes to Berkeley! THANK YOU, HIPPIES!

So how’s this for some bullshit? Solano Avenue in Berkeley/Albany, home to dozens of dining spots, HAS NO vegan establishments. What the hell is wrong with those supposedly granola-and-animal-loving Solano Ave. hippies?  Well, the correct answer is A LOT. But lucky for us, things are about to change (at least in the realm of veg food…we don’t have a hopeful outlook on the crystal deodorant and wearing Birkenstocks-with-socks front).

Starting in early January 2010, the small vegan chain Nature’s Express is opening a branch at 1823 Solano Ave. in Berkeley.  (Most people think of Solano as being in Albany, but the eastern part of the street is technically still Berkeley. The geography lessons are free, bitches!)  

That’s right, soon you’ll be able to dine cheaply and cruelty-free among the hordes of aging hippie foodies. Great! But you ask: How cheap? How vegan? And is the food any good?

Well smarty pants, here’s the menu* from the Rancho Mirage location. Look, it’s cheap! And according to Molly Patrick, Nature’s Express General Manager for Northern Cali, everything is 100 percent vegan!

Yes, but is it nasty? Yelpers overwhelmingly like it. What? Those fools hate everything because they think that’s comedy?! Maybe that’s the case but they’re loving on Nature’s Express. And the ones who don’t probably shop directly from puppy mills. SO EVIL!

Anyway, Nature’s Express plans to open up shop in Berkeley around Jan. 6th or 7th. They will be celebrating their grand opening on Jan. 15, 2010. We will keep you posted about this event (free food!?) and the exact date they will open because that’s how we do!

*Of definite interest is the biblical burrito…wtf is that!? I’ll take it! Also, is this a cult? Not sure, don’t care. Oooh also, tempeh ruebens and chicken roll tacos and garden lasagna!? YES and YES and YES!

Thanks to Claude for this awesome insider info & fabulous post!!

Phat Philly!

So at the end of this week I’m flying into Philadelphia to make my way to the inauguration (AND I’M NOT COMING BACK UNTIL OBAMA IS VEGAN OR UNTIL MY RETURN FLIGHT ON THURSDAY) and I’ve been gearing up for eating many vegan Philly cheese steaks at Govinda’s in Philadelphia by eating many vegan Philly cheese steaks in California. If you access the Fat Logic part of your brain, that makes perfect sense.

Lucky for me, Phat Philly* opened up about a block from my place last month. They offer a few vegetarian sandwiches that can be made vegan by taking away all the flavor. All of their delicious sounding sauces have mayo in them and of course, no vegan cheese. We got the tofu sandwich and it was basically tofu stir-fried with some onions and peppers and put on a roll. Not horrible but certainly no Jay’s. Other options include grilled veggies and portabella and if you’re looking for a grilled veggie sandwich (BLAH), this would be a good place. Just remember to bring your own condiments. One thing I will say, the waffle fries are the JAM. It’s been awhile since I indulged in some waffle fry deliciousness and those suckers tasted GOOD. I recommend taking them home and making your own special sauce of ketchup mixed with wildwood vegan aioli (or veganaise) and then dunking each fry completely in that magic and going straight to heart attack heaven. If you’re feeling extra awesome, you could make that sauce at home and bring it with you to Phat Philly and make your sandwich taste better.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked that they are thinking about vegetarians (and vegans, to some extent) but I’d love some more options. From eating at Govinda’s & Jay’s, I know a really tasty vegan Philly cheese steak is possible and will bring in a shit ton of customers. Never underestimate a vegan’s ability to travel to great lengths to get something awesome. I mean, I’m basically going to the inauguration so that I can eat Cinnamon Rolls from Sticky Fingers, YOU FEEL ME?

*I woulda gone with Fat Filly because that’s hella clever, right? And then your logo could be a fat horse eating a sandwich. GENIUS, NO?

Jay’s Cheesesteak!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BITCHES!!!

Now, down to business.

Back in the day when food was not repulsive to me — it feels like I can’t remember such a time* — I used to love the seitan cheesesteak sandwich, minus the cheese and mayo, with extra extra onions, from Jay’s Cheesesteak. It is the perfect sandwich and vegan! Yay! If you are feeling extravagant, you can have them make any of their cheesesteaks vegan. You can choose from tomato & pepper, mushroom, pizza, teriyaki, and more. The pizza cheesesteak is especially super fantastic, all marinara-sauced deliciousness and shit. Go on with your bad self, pizza cheesesteak.

I like their garlic fries too, they are big and fat and super greasy. Even if you are a fat pig and think you can eat more than anyone ever, still get the small. Trust.

One gripe: These fools recently started charging 50 cents extra for the seitan cheesesteaks. WRONG! And before anyone is like, “Well, Laura, seitan is probably more expensive than government-subsidized ground chuck,” I will tell you this: JAY’S CHEESESTEAK USES NIMAN RANCH DEAD COW. Niman Ranch is the poster boy for “humanely” raised, grass-fed, sustainably farmed, Michael Pollan Richy-Rich-style beef. You ain’t at Food 4 Less anymore, Dorothy. This shiz is $$$$$. And I, for one, am so sick of paying extra for food that COSTS LESS. I’m looking at you, soy milk at Starbucks. Oh also, no vegan cheese. Boo.

A few logisticalities: There are two Jay’s Cheesesteak locations, one in the Mission on 21st Street near Valencia, and one in the Western Addition on Divisadero. Both locations are open 7 days a week from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. They are both in good bar neighborhoods, which is excellent because they are ideal drinking food. Very limited seating, so see previous sentence about going to a bar.

*About 10 hours ago. I have mild congestion/am dying.