The Vegansaurus guide to the Eat Real Festival! »
Eat Real Festival starts TODAY in Oakland’s Jack London Square. It goes through Sunday, when I’ll be participating in the Porchlight Storytelling Slam from 3 to 5 p.m.! Should be terrifying and humiliating, stop by!
We’ve compiled a list of all the vegan deliciousness there is to eat. Unfortunately, they’re having all sorts of nasty-ass shit going on like butchering contests and other disgusting “urban homesteading” garbage that all the white people in West Oakland are into*.
Here’s your list of all vegan businesses selling eats:
Fat Bottom Bakery (YES!!) and Raw Daddy! Two vegan vendors at a food fest dedicated to food sustainability! It’s a start; hopefully next year they can do more outreach to veg businesses? A festival like this should be crawling with them!
Here’s a list of places selling all vegetarian food & will have vegan items to sell:
A La Cart; Cranky Boots Cold Confections; Fat Face; Ear-good Corn Roast; La Placita Center/Rising Sun Entrepreneurs; Liba Falafel Truk (been wanting to try this place!!); Saul’s Restaurant and Deli; Sweet (if they have vegan tarts GET THEM—upcoming review planned over their amazingness!); and Tante’s.
Plus, a lot of the ice cream and sorbet vendors will have vegan options (HELLO, SCREAM SORBET!) Also, 90 percent of the non-veg vendors selling will have vegan items—check out the selection! Food-wise, it seems like a solidly tasty weekend time investment. Let’s swarm the vegan businesses and have them sell out first! Further date/times/location info for the festival can be found here.
When you’re done with the festival on Sunday, come check out DINO BIKE, playing at the Hemlock in San Francisco! It’s a fundraiser for my dog, Hazel, who just had $4,000 surgery yesterday. And actually, it didn’t go super- well so she might need more and is on complete bed rest for two months. Like, literally no walking. We have to take her outside in a red Radio Flyer wagon so she can go to the bathroom. Seriously.
*Oh calm down, I’m one of you too! I’m just making my own booze and pickling everything in sight instead of getting chickens in the mail (great idea!) to raise like pets and then slaughter because I NEED MEAT TO SURVIVE.
Issue 2 of Soy Fucker is available! Plus, SF Zine Fest is a-comin’! »
Hard copies begin shipping out on Tuesday, Aug. 23! Can’t wait? Can’t blame ya. Soft copies are also for sale, and you can read them, like, now.* Only two bones, and it goes to Deep Roots Sanctuary. What are you waiting for?
*depending on your internet speed.
In other zine and comic news, SF Zine Fest is coming up (Labor Day weekend, Sept. 4 and 5!) and lots of awesome veg artists are gonna be there, including Jesse Reklaw (he made this year’s Zine Fest amazing poster too!), Ashley from Fat Bottom Bakery with Barefoot and in the Kitchen, Rick and Eve of Monkey + Seal (seriously BUY THIS!), Minty Lewis from P.S. Comics, Susie Cagle, Jen Oaks (OMG BUY THIS!! Oklahoma Animals FTW!), and our own Jonas Madden-Connor. SO MUCH TALENT!!
OH ALSO, I am making a zine. It is about being fat and it’s called FAT ZINE. It comes with free candy because that’s how fat people do. Susie and Jen are doing sexy fat lady drawings and there might be glitter involved. Lots and lots of glitter. Y’all ready for this?
The world is bleak: fighting little dogs for half a cracker with this week’s link-o-rama! »
Pamela Anderson loves animals! She paid all the expenses for the transport of 50 homeless dogs from New Orleans to a pet adoption program in Virginia, less the two she adopted herself. That is a good thing that a person with money can do. [photo credit: AP]
Get busy with these events!
Tonight eat snacks from Vegansaurus pals Fat Bottom Bakery at the Oakland Art Murmur! Also, there’s art, and wandering around Oakland, where it may be warmer than the city! Double-also, art shows very frequently serve free liquor. Go expand your cultural horizons, starting around 5 p.m. and continuing until it’s not entirely clear, but not very late (8ish?).
Tomorrow, Saturday Aug. 7, Oakland gets to be awesome again (!) and host this month’s SF Underground Market. Which is technically a “Bay Area” underground market, but, all right. It’s at 24th Street and Broadway, runs from 5 to 11 p.m., and has a $2 entry fee. There’ll be live music, drinks for purchase, and all kinds of food vendors. The location, incidentally, is three (big) blocks from the 19th Street BART station.
If you didn’t find what you wanted in Oakland, or were unable (TOO LAZY) to get there, probably you should get over to Hayes Valley Farm on Sunday, Aug. 8 for the Fresh Produce Free-For-All. It is exactly what it sounds like, apparently, and it sounds like AWESOME. Hayes Valley Farm is on Laguna Street between Oak and Fell Streets, and the Fresh Produce party is scheduled from 12:30 to 6 p.m.
Alternatively, you could participate in the protest honoring the 40th anniversary of Lolita the orca’s capture. It will be held at “Six Flags Discovery Kingdom” (formerly known as Marine World Africa USA, the saddest not-SeaWorld your Vegansaurus ever visited) in Vallejo from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
More protests next week! On Wednesday, Aug. 11 protest the opening night of the Ringling Bros. circus in Oakland (everything is happening in Oakland now! And HBIC Laura just moved there. This is not a coincidence). The protest will be at the Oracle Arena (7000 Coliseum Way) from 6 to 7:30 p.m., and our pals at Cinnaholic are offering 20 percent off to every protester who brings in a flyer from the event! More details about this and other circus protests here.
Educate yourself with these thrilling news items!
This week in Meat news, British people found themselves accidentally drinking milk and eating meat from cloned cows. Whoopsie daisy! Esquire wouldn’t mind cloned meat, but thinks in vitro a much better (and safer) idea. England is exporting miniature cows to the U.S., which SFoodie considered “might save the planet,” what with their being extra-small and needing so little food and water and space (the better to pack you on the feedlot, my tiny ones!) Good made a super-disgusting chart of the “average American” annual diet, which include 110 pounds of “red meat,” and 600.5 pounds of non-cheese, non-egg dairy products. So that’s all milk and yogurt and cream? Ew. Christina Pirello reminded the omnivores that their hamburgers are totally disgusting, though she didn’t “[go] all vegan on [them],” just suggested, like, the Dan Barber way, Dan Barber’s so great! (no he’s not.) Erik Marcus pointed out that it wasn’t so much the “meat” component in the “cooking meat led to human intellectual development” theory as the “cooking” part. Shut Up, Foodies! wondered how owners of an emu farm could slaughter and eat the birds who literally hug them.
What Fucked-up Things have people been doing to animals recently? Germany’s wild boar population has rapidly increased, and the number of whom are radioactive due to the lasting effects of the Chernobyl disaster has quadrupled. HA HA HA AWESOME. Scientists at the Emory University School of Medicine published research that may explain “the molecular biology of fear”; they studied this by giving “mild” electric shocks to mice. Kerry Ressler, the researcher interviewed for the LiveScience article, really loves his wife and three children. On the subject of fear, military veterinarians are diagnosing dogs with PTSD now. Specifically Gina, a bomb-sniffing German Shepherd, who has been in recovery for a year after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq. She’s well enough to work on domestic bases, and maybe she’ll get redeployed to on of our Middle East quagmires, just like our human troops! It’s nice that dogs get treated equally to (straight) people in the U.S. military, isn’t it.
Awwww, isn’t it cuuuuuuute? Anthropomorphic cows selling dairy products! It’s not at all reminiscent of Suicide Food! And Mouila, the oldest gorilla in England, turned 50 on Monday, and her keepers threw her a birthday party, complete with “presents wrapped with [sic] special gorilla-friendly paper.” I’m sure it was always her dream to live in freezing-ass, foggy fucking England and be a baby machine for Howletts Wild Animal Park.
One item of non-terribleness: the guidelines for the first complete replacement for the Draize skin test was adopted by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development in July, which will, according to PCRM, replace “the rabbit method for most chemicals and products.” Fewer bunnies being tortured really is wonderful.
In our Bay Area, people on the Supplemental Nutrition Program (a type of food stamps) can now use their funds at farmers markets in Healdsburg and Petaluma. That is a really great idea! But considering that the federal government made a big fat cut to funding for food stamps this week, who will have the funds to buy fresh, local produce? Our jerkface governor doesn’t care about who will pick any of the produce from anywhere, vetoing a bill this week that would have guaranteed farmworkers ONE DAY OFF in every seven worked, and overtime pay for over eight hours worked in a day or 40 in a week. You know, like you’d get in an office for making after-hours copies and drinking soda, or sitting around waiting for deadline DOING NOTHING. As opposed to, maybe, picking fucking strawberries in the hot sun all day, every single day. New York City won’t commit to preserving all of its existing community gardens, despite protests—why have a garden when you can have condos?
A pitbull saved a chihuahua from being devoured by a coyote! Stop hating pitbulls already, they are as good a dog as any other. Turns out that the earliest known domesticated animal was, indeed, a dog, and that the act of domestication and bonding with animals may have taught us humans to “learn about and care for fellow creatures.” Speaking of which, Ethical Pizza rescued a baby pigeon at the Daly City BART station yesterday! A tiny baby pigeon only three weeks old! YOU GUYS.
The New York Daily News had a little spotlight on Latin American vegan food in NYC, which our crack team of Megan Rascal and sometimes Figaro will get right on reviewing for you! And Team VeganMania won the Sixth Annual Brown Cow Ice Cream Trough Eating Contest, with a separate trough of Chicago SoyDairy’s Temptation vegan ice cream! Obviously, vegans and our delicious dairy alternatives are the fucking best, HOORAY.
East Bay Vegan Bakesale this weekend! »
It’s that time again! Hooray! The East Bay Vegan Bakesale returns this Saturday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m, at the same location as before, in front of Issues. Perennial baking superstars Fat Bottom Bakery, Cinnaholic (have you tried the pizza rolls?!), and more will be on hand dishing out treats to benefit Animal Place and Haitian relief efforts.
If you want to bake, email them! If you want to eat, SHOW UP! Let’s do this, vegans and fellow fat-asses!
Vote for Fat Bottom Bakery’s Ashley for PETA’S Sexiest Vegetarian! »
We don’t play favorites here at Vegansaurus because lots of our friends are in the running for PETA’s sexiest vegetarian and they’re all the BEST (Shani and Shannon, holla! Vote for those hot bitches too! From multiple email accounts, WORK THE SYSTEM YO) BUT we have a special space in our heart for one very awesome sexy vegan, and that’s Ashley from Fat Bottom Bakery. Read the email she sent below and then let’s propel her to fat vegan superstardom and show PETA what’s what! Fat vegans are healthy, sexy, AND DESERVE A FREE TRIP TO HAWAII, OK?
Also, Ashley is the most adorable so it won’t be hard to vote for her. Now read her email and vote!
“I’ve been pissed about PETA’s fat-phobic (not to mention racist, objectifying, and otherwise embarrassing) campaigning for a long time now. It wasn’t a surprise to me to stumble upon their ‘Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door’ contest and find that the vast majority of the women who’ve applied are thin (not to mention white, long-haired, big-breasted, and scantily clad). I don’t mean to hold the fact that these women fit into normative beauty (and gender) standards against them, but rather to underscore the fact that these are clearly the people who feel ‘sexy’ enough to enter the contest, and are hooked in enough to PETA’s circles to know to enter it. None of this is coincidental. Being vegan or vegetarian does not automatically make you thin, and being thin does not automatically make you sexy (or healthy, or anything else but thin).
Likewise, being fat does not automatically make you unhealthy, and god knows there are a lot of sexy people out there with every different body type you can think of. To me, being sexy is being strong, being funny, being smart, being fun. Incidentally, none of these things inherently require a baring of undergarments. So what’s to be done if you’re a ticked-off, fat, feminist vegan? Well, enter the contest, I guess! If nothing else, I figure I can have a little fun, get a rise out of some of the right folks, and raise a bit more awareness around animal rights, feminism and body-positivity all at the same time. I can dream, right?
Please go HERE to vote for me. I’m hoping to get my big, fully-clothed asparagus on the first page. I’d love to see PETA’s beauty standards disrupted for just a second by a different type of sexy, healthy, strong vegan lady!
And if you want proof of the aforementioned offenses, check out any of the following links: Fat-phobic beach billboard, ads to be placed on the US-Mexico border, I’d rather go naked?, and ‘Milk Gone Wild’”
What are you waiting for? Go dig up those old Hotmail accounts and vote!
V-Day Dance: The V stands for VEGAN!!!! »
I don’t mean to be the resident pessimist here, but Valentine’s Day is just one of those holidays that has the tendency to be a total bummer. And I’m not just talking about the hopelessly in-love couples with the cliched, sickening, we-met-at-Dolores-Park-because-I-was-wearing-my-new-ultra-gaudy-neon-American-Apparel-leggings-and-matching-scrunchie-when-he-rode-by-on-his-fixie-and-it-was-love-at-first-sight story who make the rest of us feel like shit for being alone. I mean, that’s just one aspect of it. But then take, say, the pounds and pounds of pink-and-red-foil-wrapped, heart-shaped chocolate on display at your local grocery store. Yeah, can’t eat it. And that’s just for starters.
So for those of you looking for something to do that weekend, well, why not a Valentine’s Day DANCE?! Yeah, sure, it’s totally kitschy and might stir up some long-repressed and entirely unwanted memories of adolescent dances and all the awkwardness that accompanied them, but seriously, what else are you going to do (aside from camping out on the couch and watching Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movies while pigging out on Oreos and vegan ice cream and feeling sorry for yourself)??!!!?! BESIDES, IT’S FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
Included in the price of your ticket are all sorts of vegan treats—there will be hors d’oeuvres and desserts—including baked goods from Vegansaurus friends Sugar Beat Sweets and Fat Bottom Bakery!!—and raffle tickets and goody bags. Plus, two single vegans will be auctioned off for dates, and they’re pretty cute (check out the website for pictures and details, and please direct all comments on how cute the cat in the picture with Brian is to me because he’s MINE [the cat, not Brian]). Plus, there’s dancing, and music, and if you haven’t seen me dance, you’re missing out because I pretty much own you all on the dance floor. OH, AND DID I MENTION?! OPEN BAR. That’s right. And if you’re not yet 21, no worries, because you can just give all your free alcohol to me. PROBLEM SOLVED.
So here comes the rough part—it’s a $50 price tag for this event. BUT, proceeds from the event will benefit Vegan Outreach so if it turns out to be a total bust, at least you can feel good about yourself for being altruistic or something.
And lucky for you, Vegan Outreach is giving away a pair of tickets to this dance for you and a guest of your choosing, be it your significant other, a hot date, a blind date, your best friend, your little sister, your dog/cat/hamster, or me (HEY GUYS, I’M SINGLE SLASH AWESOME). All you have to do is share the best surprise you’ve given or received on Valentine’s Day or some other special momentous day, and if your story is picked, you get in free. You can do that on the Facebook page for the event.
And just a tip: If your life is full of completely boring, unromantic moments like mine, just lie, because seriously, no one will know the difference.
My niece gets DOWN with some marzipan fruit at the East Bay Vegan Bakesale. Two things. She totally gets that from me. And B) THE BAKESALE MADE $2192!!! Vegans, you are currently amazing me, let’s all get married!
Mad props to Ashley and Caroline from Fat Bottom Bakery for putting this on and being generally awesome at everything they do. I can’t wait to eat everything at the next one!
See you all there on Saturday, Jan. 9! Let’s eat our weight in vegan donuts and then puke it up and eat our weight in vegan twinkies and then I THINK YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING.