Eat this immediately: Gourmellows! They’re what’s for every meal if you’re not an idiot! »
You guys, you really really really really really have to try these gourmellows from Desiderio Chocolates. Yes, gourmellow — it’s GOURMET and MARSHMALLOW made into one awkward word, but who cares, the taste is nothing short of legendary. Legendary, I say! I found them while browsing the vegan section of the adorable Abe’s Market instead of working (it’s one of the many things I do that don’t involve working), and BAM: Gourmellows:
They’re half-fudge, half-marshmallow (roughly the same composition as yours truly) and then covered in the smoothest dark chocolate I’ve ever had. It’s almost milk chocolaty. I mean, HOT DAMN! It tastes like nothing I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve eaten pretty much everything. If you don’t believe me, I’ll send pictures.
Man, I love Gourmellows so much. I’ve gotten into the adorable habit of g-chatting my boyfriend simply, “GOURMELLOW DOWN!” because it makes him sad that he’s at stupid work without delicious gourmellows and I’m living the dream!
Get at them, either via Abe’s ($14 for six, or $12.60 if you give them three friends’ email addresses, YOU ASSHOLE) or Desiderio Chocolates’ Etsy store ($6 for three). Also, their sea salt caramels are UNSANE. You like nougat? Oh, they’ve got your nougat! Oh fuck it, just get a sampler snack pack and go to town, fatty. FUCK, I see that they’ve got ROCKY ROAD, TOO. Goddammit!
Here’s the sea salt caramel:
Here’s my hand-model hand and a Gourmellow EXTREME CLOSE-UP:
This made me really happy and really sad, all at once. Maybe that farmer is vegan and that pig is his best friend and will live a long, happy life. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna believe. Now, time to go watch the dog video again.