Backyard chickens are making children sick. Seriously, kids are being hospitalized. Yay, urban homesteading! Yay, Salmonella!   »

The next time of your locavIDIOT friends is all, “OMG I totally want backyard chickens and in related news I am a total idiot!” you can be all, “READ THIS FIRST, IDIOT friend.” 

Salmonella isn’t just for factory farms anymore, folks! Thas right:

Infected chicks and ducklings have sickened 71 people—more than half of them younger than 5—in a growing multistate outbreak of salmonella that now involves two different strains of the bacteria.

Eighteen people were hospitalized with “SEVERE DIARRHEA.” In related news, that’s totally the name of my punk band. Also: EW GROSS. 

Will backyard chickens make you and your children sick with the shits? And maybe worse? We’ll let this chicken answer for us:


Four dead in Japan thanks to E. coli  »

Super shitty news out of Japan: Four people are dead and at least 56 are sick—after eating raw beef at a popular chain barbecue restaurant in Tonami in Toyama Prefecture. Totally fucking awful.

What’s really scary about this (besides EVERYTHING) is that we’re discovering more and more variations of E. coli that are super crazy dangerous. Before there was just O157:H7 to worry about, and now there are at least six more types of E. coli. Shudder. I’m telling you, we’re gonna see more and more horrific stuff like this happening.

In extra-super-disturbing news, many of these E. coli variations aren’t even looked for in labs, so there’s a chance that even the most stringently tested dead cow (that’s like 1 percent anyway) is gonna be teaming with all sorts of delicious E. coli that nobody ever even looked for. Hide your kids, hide your wife. Or you know, stop eating that (literal) shit because it ain’t safe.


(Yet another) New drug-resistant E. coli!  »

Well, it won’t affect us vegans just yet, but I’m sure it’ll make its way to us somehow. Thanks, meat mouths!

From the Wired article:

Chickens, chicken meat and humans in the Netherlands are carrying identical, highly drug-resistant E. coli—resistance that is apparently moving from poultry raised with antibiotics, to humans, via food.

I’d like to write more about how many levels of gross and fucked this whole thing is, but I’m finna board a plane to Austin! So instead, I leave you with: WE ARE FUCKED THE WORLD IS ON FIRE RUN FOR THE HILLS.


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