OMG, Congress actually DOES something: “Crush” videos banned  »

The impulse to crush and/or smother things that are just too damn precious is a near-universal aspect of the human condition, much like love or pooping. But as anybody whose read John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men knows, actually following through and smashing attractive things to death is a horrible idea. So horrible, in fact, that Friday the U.S. Senate—which usually can’t do anything right—unanimously approved a ban (already passed by the House) on so-called crush videos, which are basically fetish porn in which a woman’s bare or high-heeled foot stomps a small animal to death.

We here at Vegansaurus aren’t ones to judge (j/k, yes we are!), but this is an obviously ridiculous fetish. Sex involving animals should be limited to those vibrators that look like rabbits or, shudder, furries. At least if you’re not Danish. And even then, there should be mutual consent. 

Despite this seeming like a no-brainer, though, a previous (1999) law that effectively banned the sale, distribution, manufacture, etc., of the videos was struck down by the Supreme Court because its broad scope supposedly infringed on our freedom of speech. While such animal cruelty remained legal even after the Supreme Court’s ruling, existing laws applied more to the videos’ initial production (that is, crushing an animal to death) than their distribution. The new law is more narrow in scope, and exempts videos depicting fishing, hunting, and trapping, because this is America, God bless us and our guns. 

The law’s unanimous passage isn’t a surprise, given that the Republicans’ only desire greater than legislative gridlock is banning everything possible that’s sexually aberrant. Still, in this case, their anti-kinky agenda definitely works out for the best, because, you know, jerking off while watching something die shouldn’t be anyone’s idea of a good time. Ugh.

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