The world is bleak: fighting little dogs for half a cracker with this week’s link-o-rama! »
Pamela Anderson loves animals! She paid all the expenses for the transport of 50 homeless dogs from New Orleans to a pet adoption program in Virginia, less the two she adopted herself. That is a good thing that a person with money can do. [photo credit: AP]
Get busy with these events!
Tonight eat snacks from Vegansaurus pals Fat Bottom Bakery at the Oakland Art Murmur! Also, there’s art, and wandering around Oakland, where it may be warmer than the city! Double-also, art shows very frequently serve free liquor. Go expand your cultural horizons, starting around 5 p.m. and continuing until it’s not entirely clear, but not very late (8ish?).
Tomorrow, Saturday Aug. 7, Oakland gets to be awesome again (!) and host this month’s SF Underground Market. Which is technically a “Bay Area” underground market, but, all right. It’s at 24th Street and Broadway, runs from 5 to 11 p.m., and has a $2 entry fee. There’ll be live music, drinks for purchase, and all kinds of food vendors. The location, incidentally, is three (big) blocks from the 19th Street BART station.
If you didn’t find what you wanted in Oakland, or were unable (TOO LAZY) to get there, probably you should get over to Hayes Valley Farm on Sunday, Aug. 8 for the Fresh Produce Free-For-All. It is exactly what it sounds like, apparently, and it sounds like AWESOME. Hayes Valley Farm is on Laguna Street between Oak and Fell Streets, and the Fresh Produce party is scheduled from 12:30 to 6 p.m.
Alternatively, you could participate in the protest honoring the 40th anniversary of Lolita the orca’s capture. It will be held at “Six Flags Discovery Kingdom” (formerly known as Marine World Africa USA, the saddest not-SeaWorld your Vegansaurus ever visited) in Vallejo from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.
More protests next week! On Wednesday, Aug. 11 protest the opening night of the Ringling Bros. circus in Oakland (everything is happening in Oakland now! And HBIC Laura just moved there. This is not a coincidence). The protest will be at the Oracle Arena (7000 Coliseum Way) from 6 to 7:30 p.m., and our pals at Cinnaholic are offering 20 percent off to every protester who brings in a flyer from the event! More details about this and other circus protests here.
Educate yourself with these thrilling news items!
This week in Meat news, British people found themselves accidentally drinking milk and eating meat from cloned cows. Whoopsie daisy! Esquire wouldn’t mind cloned meat, but thinks in vitro a much better (and safer) idea. England is exporting miniature cows to the U.S., which SFoodie considered “might save the planet,” what with their being extra-small and needing so little food and water and space (the better to pack you on the feedlot, my tiny ones!) Good made a super-disgusting chart of the “average American” annual diet, which include 110 pounds of “red meat,” and 600.5 pounds of non-cheese, non-egg dairy products. So that’s all milk and yogurt and cream? Ew. Christina Pirello reminded the omnivores that their hamburgers are totally disgusting, though she didn’t “[go] all vegan on [them],” just suggested, like, the Dan Barber way, Dan Barber’s so great! (no he’s not.) Erik Marcus pointed out that it wasn’t so much the “meat” component in the “cooking meat led to human intellectual development” theory as the “cooking” part. Shut Up, Foodies! wondered how owners of an emu farm could slaughter and eat the birds who literally hug them.
What Fucked-up Things have people been doing to animals recently? Germany’s wild boar population has rapidly increased, and the number of whom are radioactive due to the lasting effects of the Chernobyl disaster has quadrupled. HA HA HA AWESOME. Scientists at the Emory University School of Medicine published research that may explain “the molecular biology of fear”; they studied this by giving “mild” electric shocks to mice. Kerry Ressler, the researcher interviewed for the LiveScience article, really loves his wife and three children. On the subject of fear, military veterinarians are diagnosing dogs with PTSD now. Specifically Gina, a bomb-sniffing German Shepherd, who has been in recovery for a year after returning from a tour of duty in Iraq. She’s well enough to work on domestic bases, and maybe she’ll get redeployed to on of our Middle East quagmires, just like our human troops! It’s nice that dogs get treated equally to (straight) people in the U.S. military, isn’t it.
Awwww, isn’t it cuuuuuuute? Anthropomorphic cows selling dairy products! It’s not at all reminiscent of Suicide Food! And Mouila, the oldest gorilla in England, turned 50 on Monday, and her keepers threw her a birthday party, complete with “presents wrapped with [sic] special gorilla-friendly paper.” I’m sure it was always her dream to live in freezing-ass, foggy fucking England and be a baby machine for Howletts Wild Animal Park.
One item of non-terribleness: the guidelines for the first complete replacement for the Draize skin test was adopted by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development in July, which will, according to PCRM, replace “the rabbit method for most chemicals and products.” Fewer bunnies being tortured really is wonderful.
In our Bay Area, people on the Supplemental Nutrition Program (a type of food stamps) can now use their funds at farmers markets in Healdsburg and Petaluma. That is a really great idea! But considering that the federal government made a big fat cut to funding for food stamps this week, who will have the funds to buy fresh, local produce? Our jerkface governor doesn’t care about who will pick any of the produce from anywhere, vetoing a bill this week that would have guaranteed farmworkers ONE DAY OFF in every seven worked, and overtime pay for over eight hours worked in a day or 40 in a week. You know, like you’d get in an office for making after-hours copies and drinking soda, or sitting around waiting for deadline DOING NOTHING. As opposed to, maybe, picking fucking strawberries in the hot sun all day, every single day. New York City won’t commit to preserving all of its existing community gardens, despite protests—why have a garden when you can have condos?
A pitbull saved a chihuahua from being devoured by a coyote! Stop hating pitbulls already, they are as good a dog as any other. Turns out that the earliest known domesticated animal was, indeed, a dog, and that the act of domestication and bonding with animals may have taught us humans to "learn about and care for fellow creatures." Speaking of which, Ethical Pizza rescued a baby pigeon at the Daly City BART station yesterday! A tiny baby pigeon only three weeks old! YOU GUYS.
The New York Daily News had a little spotlight on Latin American vegan food in NYC, which our crack team of Megan Rascal and sometimes Figaro will get right on reviewing for you! And Team VeganMania won the Sixth Annual Brown Cow Ice Cream Trough Eating Contest, with a separate trough of Chicago SoyDairy’s Temptation vegan ice cream! Obviously, vegans and our delicious dairy alternatives are the fucking best, HOORAY.
Paul muss frei! »
I love octopuses and hate everybody! Nothing new about that but I have a renewed hatred for everybody. Why are they trying to fry up Paul?! Paul, the psychic octopus who is famous for predicting the outcome of the World Cup, received death threats from his German and Dutch brethren! Maybe you don’t have jerky friends like me but last week everyone on Facebook (ever heard of it?) was posting recipes for fried octopus and whatnot. LO-fricking-L.
Really, what’s so funny about that? It’s not like people don’t already eat octopus. Hey guys, I’m going to post a recipe for hamburgers! Waka waka!
This is what I hate about “working” animals; they do all this stuff for people and then they just get shit on. I swear, one headline read, “The First Millionaire Octopus?” I’m not linking it because it’s stupid. Here’s the gist: Paul is retiring from sports prediction and entering the advertising business. Also, CNN is stupid. I’m so totally sure Paul is going to reap the benefits of “his” millions. A million dollars could build a pretty big aquarium, which is the VERY LEAST Sea Life could do for him. In other minimalism: the owners are saying his advertising career won’t actually involve him directly, just his fame. We can at least say danke for that. [Ed.: Claire Zulkey wrote something sensible about Paul as well that you might like to read!]
After these death threats, PETA Germany is petitioning for the release of Paul. Cross your tentacles, Paul, and hang in there!
Vegan Bakesale TOMORROW! Plus, how to clean birds, shoot dogs, save frogs, and MORE in today’s link-o-rama! »
Vegan-type fun-times events!
The SF Vegan Bakesale location has moved! It’s still happening tomorrow, Saturday May 8 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., but now it will be in front of Herbivore at 983 Valencia St. between 21st and 22nd Streets in the Mission. Be there or be an animal-hating, self-denying jerk!
After the Bakesale, you can protest Thomas Keller’s use of foie gras at the French Laundry in Yountville. The protest begins at 6:30 p.m. The groups will also protest at Keller’s restaurants Bouchon in Beverly Hills at 7 p.m., and at Per Se in NYC at 11:30 a.m. (EDT!). For more information, including contacts for carpooling, click here.
Burned out on Bakesales? Don’t want to cross the Bay Bridge? Maybe check out this mysterious “A Taste For You—Spring Flavor Vegan-Style” with chefs Wanda Crudas and HuNia at the North Oakland Senior Center on Saturday at 1 p.m. instead. The event features cooking demos and snacks (including Souley Vegan and Cafe Gratitude), local entertainment, activities for kids, and costs $15 in advance, $20 at the door. For more information, visit one of these sites.
Items of varying degrees of importance!
PETA blows it again! Definitely, spending donations to fly a weird, nasty message over Mobile, Ala., was a good use of money. You guys are SO EMBARRASSING, GOD. That said, oil-drilling and fishing are ruining the oceans. Stop eating fish, stop driving so goddamn much, and bring some hair to the bakesale tomorrow to help clean up the animal victims of the Deep Horizon disaster.
And speaking of whom: Popular Mechanics explains how trained volunteers clean these birds. The Audubon Magazine blog has regular, super-informative updates on the wildlife suffering from this tragedy as well.
Some lady—who isn’t a nutritionist, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or even someone with a certificate in “food studies” from a community college—would like parents to watch out for their "strict vegan" kids, who are probably suffering from "orthorexia." Ma’am, you are an idiot; kindly shut the fuck up. Also: would you like a cupcake?
Bryant Terry was on Martha Stewart on Monday! How did we miss this? He cooked citrus chard with raisins and spinach with garlic and chile, both of which sound simple and scrumptious. Yes, Alice Waters was there, too.
Read a story that’s not worth a whole rant, but definitely rates an angry sentence or two? Send me the link. For the time being, look at my Oliver! Like Toto, poppies make him sleepy. Or maybe it’s the sunshine, who knows.
Obviously we aren’t going because we’re all blogging for pennies/underemployed and -paid/unemployed losers/neither scientists nor medical researchers (if we were, we wouldn’t be here, suckers), but: PCRM is hosting a two-day educational conference in August on animal testing that sounds amazing—it advertises “a global panel of experts to discuss existing and promising alternatives to the use of animals in research”—and if you are involved in the sciences, perhaps you should attend! And send us a postcard about how great it is.
The only place I’ve seen the Shelter Pet Project commercials is on MSNBC during The Rachel Maddow Show, and they are CHRISTMAS-THEMED. Not enough, you guys. Help get the word out—an adopted pet is the best pet!
The ag industry is SO MAD at the Humane Society and its successes in showing consumers that they can change the industry’s cruelest practices. And though Cargill may not care, we’re happy that HSUS has won its federal case against Hudson Valley Foie Gras, which has been charged with multiple violations of the Clean Water Act.
Mine is now available on DVD, iTunes and Netflix! Buy it for your mom, if you believe in celebrating corporate holidays! You could also buy her a falafel from a Michael Mina restaurant, because it’s (apparently) vegan and moms love it when you spend lots of money on them.
A Canadian guy shot a bear that turned out to be a grizzly-polar bear hybrid. A marine biologist says this is a result of climate change, and predicts there will be more interbreeding between marine mammals as the ice caps melt. Uh, neat?
Guns are the fucking worst. In Oakland last Saturday, some police officers shot a deer to death with their pistols, despite having tranquilizer guns on them. Back in February, on a tip, a SWAT team busted into a Missouri home, shot the family pit bull to death, and shot and injured the family corgi. There’s video, but it’s awful, especially around 3:14 when the guy being arrested realizes what the police have done. Right, and of course the guy and his wife were later charged with child endangerment.
But a Dresdner man “married” his cat of 10 years, Cecelia, because she is already 15 and does not have much longer to live and he loves her very much. An unnamed actor officiated the ceremony. So that’s—less depressing than the police shooting your dogs for NO GOOD REASON. On the other hand, the Florida state legislature refused to pass an anti-bestiality bill, because of stupidity.
Like myself, I’m sure you’ve been too busy to watch any movies ever since they put My So-Called Life on Hulu. But I’ve got something for you! Not just a movie but a DOCUMENTARY! A BUNNY documentary! A POLISH bunny documentary! Like that roll-out? Yes normally I steer clear of documentaries on account of my aversion to learning, but this one looks like something I can handle!
Królik po berlinsku, or Rabbit à la Berlin is a 40-minute film about the rabbits who lived between the Berlin Walls. I miss a lot of things, especially when they pertain to commies, and I guess I missed that there were actually two Berlin Walls. Or really, I guess it was this whole structure with guarded towers and a small amount of space that ran in between the whole thing. Also known as the “death zone,” for 28 years this grassy, predator-free area was home to our rabbit protagonists. With all they could eat and their own armed guards, their numbers grew to the thousands. Um, amazing!
It seems like a decidedly different view of a tense political period. Basically, the bunnies were chilling. And guess what! Rabbit à la Berlin is up for an Oscar in the documentary short category. Yay bunnies! Unfortunately, I’ve only seen this trailer. I’m not sure where or when you can catch the short but I’m guessing film festivals for the time being. How much do you love the music in this trailer though? Hint: SO MUCH.
[shout out to Potentially Nervous for bringing this to our attention!]
In your current edition of Zoos Are Bullshit, meerkats, native to Botswana and South Africa (think Kalahari DESERT), live in the snow at a zoo in Worms, Germany. But you guys, how else are kids going to learn about animals!? YOU HAVE TO SUFFER FOR YOUR ART, MEERKATS! Brilliant.
BEEF!: nicht für Frauen—unless your Mann gives it to you »
We’ve discussed this idiocy before, how eating meat should make you a real big man, with manly muscles and a manly penis and all those other attributes that make the ladies and lady-dudes just swoon. Worse, as painful as it is to consider our grandparents having to suffer that bullshit in the ’50s, it looks like we’re being subjected to it again. To wit: not only is everybody eating meat, raw meat, but according to some Hamburghers,* beef in particular is a Man’s Food and should be revered as such, in its own magazine with fancy title-punctuation: BEEF! for Men with Taste. Oh Germany, how clever you are. The Double X blog has a tidy little dissection, as it were,** but which doesn’t go far enough—roll your eyes at the disgusting-in-all-senses-of-the-word articles, shake your fist with rage at the “men are chefs, women are cooks” stereotypes, because even when dudes take on kitchen responsibilities it is all fun and games and aren’t they creative with their amaaaazing dinners and photos and knife collections! Ladies, leftovers casserole again? Boring, gross, make me a sandwich and/or pie, bitch! GOD, variations on this joke will never get old.
All of which is, yes, obnoxious in the extreme. Even when everyone’s wearing an apron, someone’s taking His more seriously than Hers—especially when His is covered with aromatic, erotic, freshly butchered lamb’s blood,*** and Hers is caked with rapidly cementing flour-and-dishwater paste. The Editor in Chief of BEEF! says so himself (sample quote: “Women cook because they have to. For the kids who come home hungry at lunch, or in the evening for their partner. Men cook because they want to. Because it’s their hobby, their passion.”) It’s hard in there for a grrrrl.
It’s also hard out there for a dude who doesn’t want to eat meat. He’s not a man’s man, you see; how can he be, if he’s not willing to hunt and kill a meal for you, or at least craft supper out of the murdered remains of a less powerful animal? First you eat your meat to grow up big and strong, and once you are big and strong, you eat meat to prove you’re still at the “top” of the “food chain” (do we think about any other “chains” in terms of “tops” and “bottoms,” by the way?). That’s logic—manly logic! BEEF! logic!! The kind that comes to you after your brain has melted from BSE. Possibly the same that assumes anyone believes any of this anymore. Our favorite ways to insult a vegetable-eater’s looks—“anemic,” “anorexic,” “pale”—are all synonymous with weakness, frailty, the physical opposite of the macho man with his heroic penis and big creative brain. I mean, what do we eat, salads? Not even real food! Certainly not food worth using “Knives to Die For” on!
BUT: What’s the point? BEEF! isn’t really a magazine, in the sense that issues are published with any regularity (the first is dated October 2009; the second is due in May 2010) or that it’s supposed to do anything besides idolize a lifestyle that only ever existed between the pages of Playboy. Maybe with the rise of power German ladies, unemployed German dudes needed to carve out some space for themselves—the world being divided into G.R.O.S.S. members and everyone else—or maybe I shouldn’t have written this response at all, because manufacturing trends is stupid, this magazine’s premise is silly, and meat is fucking disgusting. Given the choice, I’d much rather kiss a man who doesn’t eat meat—ethics are hot, they imply you have a brain.
[For further reading on meat and gender roles, do please visit the Sociological Images blog.]
*SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
**ON FIRE with the wit today. I’m so sorry.
***BARF OK kill me now.
Roots of Compassion: Sticker Review »
If you don’t mind paying more on shipping than you do on a product (WHO DOES!?), Germany’s wonderful Roots of Compassion has made the most adorable polyglot stickers.
Promoting piglet love in absolutely EVERY LANGUAGE (or at least nine) has just gotten easier.