Opening night of Water for Elephants—it’s time to educate the disgusting sea of humanity! Your help needed! »
Megan needs a break from the elephant beat so I’m stepping in because I think they’re fucking awesome, too. I’m just a worse and less-motivated human being than Megan. Ugh, I hate talking about my many failures as a human being. Let’s also just say I have a nice rack and a cool dog. Okay, even-stevens!
IDA is setting up leafletting events around the country for opening night of Water for Elephants. You should go for two reasons. 1) Megan already proved that it’s a terrible movie for ellies and it’s getting terrible reviews, anyway! Eff that noise!; and 2) You’ll already be at a theater you can go see Your Highness because it’s fucking in and Water for Elephants is fucking out! Or, see Rio (either sober with kids or high without kids or high with kids OMG YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PARENT)! Or, you know, you can read my movie previews over at SF Appeal and find out what I think about even more things! That’s right, I’ve got opinions on shit besides vegan stuff! Like movies! Plus, you should support me, you know I would totally give you a kidney, the least you can do is READ MY DAMN MOVIE PREVIEWS.
One more time with the real point of this whole post I am so very tired: Tomorrow night, do a solid for the ellies of the world by educating the masses! You’re the best! I’m taking off my top and shimmying in your direction!
Recipe: Vegan gumbo! Happy Mardi Gras, tramps! »
So Mardi Gras is coming up, and if can’t get to New Orleans to flash your boobs for beads (don’t do that, ladies! you don’t want to end up on Girls with Low Self-Esteem! this joke is dated!), you can still Live the Glory by eating buckets and buckets of gumbo. Riddle me this: Why is gumbo so ridiculously delicious? It cannot be explained! It just is! This recipe is from Jonas’ dad and that man can COOK. We ate this at his house over New Year’s and my year is going really well so far. Coincidence? Probably. Am I going to claim that it’s not? Definitely.
Anyway, make this! It’s labor and time intensive but you end up with so much food that you’re in eating heaven for many days. It’s completely worth it, you will not regret it, and if you do, then you are a lazy, terrible person, I hate you, etc. LET’S DO THIS!
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup olive oil
4 green onions, chopped
7 garlic cloves, minced
1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
4 stalks celery, chopped
6 cups vegan chicken broth
1 14-oz. can chopped tomatoes
3 cups fresh or frozen okra, sliced
1 1/2 tsp. cajun seasoning (if you can’t find this, just mix some cayenne, pepper, and garlic powder!)
2 vegan sausages, sliced (I use Field Roast and you can use more, you know?)
2 cups vegan shrimp (I get it at Layonna’s in Oakland, or you can order online)
Filé powder (it’s ground sassafras!)
Hot sauce, to taste
1. In a large saucepan over high heat, blend the flour and oil to create a roux. Stir constantly so that it doesn’t burn. You are striving for a dark brown mahogany color; the darker, the better. If you can achieve a black roux, you are a genius magician. Place the green onions, garlic, bell pepper, and celery into a saucepan and mix to coat. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring regularly.
2. Transfer ingredients to a large stock pot over medium heat. Add broth, tomatoes, okra, and cajun seasoning, and let simmer for 10 minutes.
3. Place sausages and shrimp into stockpot, and turn heat to low. Let simmer for at least two hours so the flavors can meld. Serve over rice and garnish with Filé powder and hot sauce. Stuff your face and pass out. Rinse and repeat!
This recipe was first published in the VegWeb weekly newsletter, which I write and you should receive, just sign up on the front page of VegWeb! I haven’t taken pictures of this gumbo yet because I’m not rich and fancy like you with your digital cameras so this one is from Don’t Lose Your Lunch! It looks like they have a gumbo recipe, too! Perhaps you can combine the two for MEGA GUMBO!