Top eight links of the week: a relevant ride through the internets! »
[WTF is going on here? Do people just have lambs now? Can I get one? Will it stay the size of a cat? How patient is this cat!]
I’ve been super-busy so you only get eight links this week. Cry me a river!
Some six-year-old raised over $25,000 for the Northeast Nebraska Humane Society. What have you done for me lately?!
The Family Kitchen over at Babble asks, what do you want for your final meal before Judgement Day? Well?
This Dish is Veg has the scoop on Dogs Deserve Better’s loan approval to buy Mike “the Dick” Vick’s old property. Smells like justice!
The New York Times has a hawk cam full of baby hawks! Try not to die!
Ducklings! It’s baby bird day!
If you haven’t been paying attention—I know you!—catch up on the news regarding the animal circus ban in the UK. Spoiler: it got shot down. You can also follow ADI’s and CAPS’ Twitters for updates like every other minute. Which I can tell you want—I know you!
Are you concerned about who will care for your pets after the rapture? Worry no more!
Goats on Stuff: depressing or adorbs? A bit of both. You’ll see what I mean. On the other hand: hilarious captions, for realio!
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday! »
You guys, have you been watching this season of Real Housewives of New York? I cannot tear myself away! Allen and I spent all of Sunday watching the third season (we actually can’t stop screaming "You’re a mean girl and you’re in high school! And while you’re in high school, I’m in Brooklyn!" at each other) and are just catching up on the current one. I should be doing something far more important with my time (editing the hell out of my paper, knitting, crying myself into another nap), but since my back is still out and the ibuprofen is flowing freely, I have chosen to spend my time with the insufferable ladies of New York. And I mean insufferable! What annoys Allen the most is that I can’t just yell at the screen like normal people, but instead insist on pausing whatever we’re watching in order to deliver my biting, incisive commentary, which is always something like “THAT IS CRAZY! WHAT JUST HAPPENED! GOD I HATE HER!” This is torture for poor Allen and he tries to take the remote away from me as frequently as possible, but it’s just as torturous for me not to be able to pause and screech whenever I want to!
Speaking of torture, I gotta be real with you for a second here. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I love hamsters. To me, they are the world’s most perfect animal, and I used to decide whether I liked a potential suitor by debating whether I would consider saving them from certain death or playing with my hamsters. Most of the time, the hamsters won out. Anyway, the point here is: Don’t fuck with hamsters! They are awesome! Unfortunately some people don’t get that and insist on incurring my wrath. Take some kids from Santa Rosa, Calif., who recently tortured and killed a hamster at a preschool. I mean, seriously, you guys, who does that? Sure, these kids could be troubled and calling out for help, but I am still super upset that boys between the ages of 11 and 14 not only broke into a preschool and trashed it, but decided to, as a group, torture a defenseless animal. You know, stuff like this should really be included when we think about education reform and parenting education. While it’s common sense to me to teach kids that animals are friends, I understand that this is not something others may consider. You guys, let’s all try to teach at least one kid that torturing animals is wrong this week! That would be awesome!
Here’s another tip: Don’t get high on bath salts and murder goats. Man, why don’t we ever hear about anything good coming out of West Virginia? It’s never all, “West Virginia first state to ban factory farming” or even, “West Virgina: Where animals get petted and hugged!” Instead, all we get is, “Cross-dressing man murders goat while high on bath salts.” Ok, fine, if by “bath salts” you mean “meth,” but that’s not even the issue here. The issue is that some dude kidnapped a goat (man, kidnapped! What an awesome pun), put on a brightly colored bra (or bikini. What are you guys getting from the mug shot?) and killed a goat after allegedly committing sexual acts on it. See? This is why I don’t take baths! A couple of weeks ago, my mom was trying to give me her Dead Sea crystals to relax with and I was all, “Hell, no! What do you want me to do? Murder someone?” Because that is what bath salts are going to do to you. Do you think this will hold up in court? Will the “Bath Salt” defense become famous just like the “Twinkie” defense and the “Wookie” defense?
What about the "I was late for work so I burned down the train" defense? Because that really happened! Some people were late for work and were angry for the delays so they burned down a couple of trains, which, you know, par for the course. Just this morning, MUNI was late in taking me to work, so I took a couple of torches to the N-line so that no one would be able to get to work and so that I would have a better excuse than just “the train was late” when I call my boss from jail. Because that is the normal response to this type of situation.
I guess this week was all about common sense, you guys! Let’s review: Don’t torture animals, don’t snort “bath salts” and rape and murder animals, and for the love of all that is sacred, please don’t burn down any trains on your morning commute!
Send me links for next week and have an awesome Wednesday!
Farm Sancuary’s year-end video is ADORBS! »
Farm Sanctuary just released their year-end video, detailing the various rescues they were able to do in 2010. OMJesus the baby goats! I need a goat like now. It can eat my old clothes.
Donate to farm sanctuary today so they can save more animals! Yay!
Poor ol’ Rawesome, the members-only raw food club. Everything they sell is raw! But the government HATES THEM, because…dairy? The government is anti-raw dairy products? The government tends to go overboard with its responses to alternative foods clubs? Maybe it’s the long arm of Dairy Management—those guys do not fuck around.
On the other hand, some of the things these raw-milk enthusiasts say is priceless.
"It’s how nature provides the food without man becoming involved with, uh, pasteurization, homogenization, processing of any kind."
"Rawesome had a real, desperate need for raw goat milk, and we progressed in building our own dairy and raising our own goats."
Yes, guys. “Nature” provided you with the milk. Nature in the form of cows and goats that were never consulted about the situation. And unless they spontaneously excrete their milk into buckets, “man” has to be involved in the process. Oh dear. A “desperate need” for goat’s milk! What does that look like? Do you get the shakes if you don’t get your fix? Leave you curled in a ball on the floor, immobile and ashen-faced, until someone can place a few precious drops of god’s own ambrosia—sorry, “rawmbrosia”—on your parched tongue?
Obviously, shut up, government oversight agencies; try looking into Big Ag before raiding tiny private raw food clubs. But also, shut up raw-animal-products evangelists. You guys sound just as ridiculous as every other evangelizing raw foodist,* except you also claim that raw dairy is better because it’s straight from the animal, as though that mitigates the from-the-animal part. Your high horse: please, come off it.
*Excluding our Sarah E. Brown, as we suspect her of having a secret crazy side.
[video link via eater national]
Shocking tasers, shorted-out circuits, and food porn in today’s SHOCKING (themed) link-o-rama! »
How about that: a goat in a blue suit! According to Vice, who did the photoshoot, it’s Look 25 from Dunhill’s spring/summer 2010 collection. I’m not sure about that, honestly—I think it just as easily could be Look 27. Thoughts?
By the way, this is Steve filling in for Meave this week, who blames her absence on a shorted out MacBook keyboard following a coffee spill disaster. But between you and me, I’m suspecting cilantro poisoning.
Upcoming vegan events!
Like vegan cupcakes? Feeling judgy? Then sign up to be a judge for the 2nd Annual Vegan Cupcake Bake-off on May 22nd in Oakland. This will probably be the biggest field trip ever, so get those permission slips sorted out in advance.
Here’s an epic battle of the century that you won’t want to miss, organized by VegNews and Earth Island Journal. Cattle rancher-turned-vegan Howard Lyman and Niman Ranch co-founder Nicolette Niman will debate why or why not meat is a sustainable and ethical product. Tickets are $10 and will sell out quickly.
Miscellaneous items of significant social importance!
The Taser company funded a “study” that involved anesthetizing sheep, putting them on a methamphetamine IV drip, and then shocking them with Tasers—in order to test “the effects of Tasers on meth-addled targets.” But don’t worry, it didn’t cause the sheep any immediate heart problems!
Kelly Osborne has discovered the super-grossnosity of the U.S. meat industry, and in response has resolved to eat only “organic” meat.
Speaking of grossnosity, McDonald’s really, really doesn’t want to buy even 5 percent of its eggs for its U.S. stores from cage-free sources.
Mumbai now has an all-organic farmers market, which sells produce, cotton candy (YES PLEASE), “paint, paper, furniture, and cosmetics,” and prepared food like vegan quiche. Because we didn’t need enough reasons to visit India.
SFoodie has created a map to our fine city’s many seasonal farmers markets, where you can probably buy some wild leeks, a.k.a. ramps, which are this year’s fancy decorative green that non-professionals apparently don’t know what to do with. Or something.
The best baguette in Paris can be bought in Montmartre for less than two euro. But if you want to live forever, you had better forswear bread—and 50 percent of your body’s desired caloric intake—for the rest of that forever-life. The near-anorexics will rule us all, if very weakly.
Our local paper of record likes us; they really like us. SFGate started up a new vegan and vegetarian lifestyle section. We’re looking forward to more local coverage of veg issues, but we’re a bit less excited about the witty and insightful comments that we’re bound to get from the white-flight crowd that hangs out over there. Flame suits, on.
The Kitchn is on a vegan kick this week, with 10 Vegan Lunch Ideas. But breakfast is the most important meal of the day (especially if you eat breakfast food for lunch and dinner), so why not click through to their 10 Vegan Breakfast Ideas while you’re at it?
Killer whales kill (duh), unless you’re a dog. Then they’re like, “hop on my back, little friend, and I will take you on a magical tour of my sea kingdom.” But dogs aren’t safe if sharks are around so don’t forget a pair of “I’m With Orca” board shorts for your dog on beach walks.
Oh great. Almost everyone knows about the trash island the size of Texas floating in the Pacific, but did you know there are four others just like it? Check out photos from the North Atlantic Gyre courtesy of The 5 Gyres Project. I really can’t wait for a future of marine life evolved to eat a diet entirely of plastic.
WildCare brings us 15 seconds of how-can-I-exist-in-a-world-with-orphaned-ducklings tears in video form. Spring time means heavy rains and orphaned ducks in storm drains, so go sponsor some baby ducks, or the videos will keep getting sadder and shorter. No pressure.
The Winter Olympics are over, but how about a video of two dogs who may just win the gold in luge in 2014.
Humans are smarter and better than animals at everything, except for all the things they do exactly the same as us. Researchers in Portugal discovered that rats can understand complex game theory, and successfully cooperate with each other or manipulate other players in the classic Prisoner’s Dilemma game scenario.
Trace residue of hexane in soy burgers may have been the big health scare news story of the week, so of course this USDA report about veterinary drugs, pesticides, and heavy metals in the meat supply will get just as much attention, right? (Right guys? Guys? Anyone?)
Here’s some vegan chocolate food porn from chef and food stylist Claire Thomas, along with some bonus food erotica from The Physiology of Taste, written in 1825, describing how hot chocolate would have been prepared (with water, no milk) at Versaille.
Vegan.com says that Michael Pollan is "dodging the discussion" with Jonathon Safran Foer over criticism in Eating Animals, but saying that “nobody is anti-meat enough for the animal-rights purists” reads more like fighting words than an outright dodge. Sounds to us like it’s time to settle this one in the Octagon.
And because cats are the best, we’ll leave you with a video news clip about the Agee Sanctuary near Sacramento, new home of feral cats recently rescued from a Chinatown housing project. Apparently they have their own Winston, not to be confused with fourfour’s Winston who just joined Twitter this week and has almost as many followers as us. It’s hard out there for a dino.