vegansaurus!

Chambers Lane pâté review! (amazing new vegan cheese alert!)  »

Since Laura and I moved to the East Bay, we’ve been unable to get to Rainbow Grocery as often as we used to. Last time we were there, we um, went a little overboard. We came away with four new cheeses and cheese spreads that we had never seen before. Of these, the Chambers Lane Truffled Cashew pâté was far and away the favorite, even above the much pricier Punk Rawk Labs cheese.

So when the people of Chambers Lane contacted us to see if we were interested in trying their other flavors, of course we said yes.

All together, there are three flavors. The first we had tried was Truffled Cashew. They also have Fig Balsamic Walnut Cashew and Rosemary Thyme Almond. These are also quite good.

The Fig Balsamic is sweet, tart, and rich-tasting, with hints of spice, it definitely has a wonderful complex flavor.

The Rosemary Thyme, on the other hand, is savory, but with a milder herbed taste. It’s almond-based, so it’s not quite as creamy as the other two, but is still pleasantly nutty.

But the first one we had tried probably still remains the favorite. With its rich, decadent truffle oil and creamy cashew texture, it really is something special. We started out by eating it on crackers like fancy folks, but then polite affectations went out the window, and we finished by sticking our fingers directly into the jar to get every last bit.

In addition to being available at Rainbow Grocery, you can also find Chambers Lane pâtés at Country Cheese Coffee Market and Berkeley Bowl West in Berkeley, Woodlands Market in Kentfield, and Draeger’s in Menlo Park, Danville, and San Mateo. 

Let’s hope they get into even more stores soon, because this stuff is the GREATEST. Insanely delicious vegan cheese for all!

Whole Foods debuts their own brand of vegan meats!  »

And we’ve been eating them up and they’re TASTY. Chicken patties, burgers, meatballs, nuggets, THE WORKS.  

I believe they’re at all Whole Foods but Whole Foods doesn’t tell us shit so you might want to call a store near you and get the 411 on meatless meatballs and chickenless nuggets and WHAAAT. This stuff is GOOD. $4/package. I think that’s everything

LET’S EAT:

[thanks to wonderful megan and miles for the tip <3 ]

What’s new at Rainbow Grocery: a vegan odyssey!  »

Man, we have it so lucky in the bay area. In other parts of the country, they have to literally climb mountains, cross rivers, and pass tests of endurance, skill, and wit to get to a quality vegan cupcake. For a decent vegan pizza, they must whittle a squirrel while riding an elliptical. For vegans in Middle Earth America, grocery shopping is basically like living in Saw, but worse*. WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT: God Bless San Francisco and God Bless Rainbow Grocery. Now, let’s get down to business!

First, we have VEGAN COOKIE DOUGH. That’s right, we can eat cookie dough straight out of the tub with the fattest of ‘em! And guess what, we ain’t getting Salmonella! HELL YEAH. Check out the ridiculously amazing Eat Pastry in the frozen section!

AAAAAAND… let’s give it up for Tofurky Pizzas! It’s a melty, delicious, Daiya-topped, vegan pizza and it’s ALL YOURS. It’s like $8 so my cheap ass will be saving it for special occasions like weddings and graduations and days ending in y. The actual pizza doesn’t look exactly like the box but SEX SELLS.

Also, vegan fertilizer for vegans who want to get DIR-TAY. Sorry, listening to too much Christina Aguillera.

Don’t know much about this but thought it might be of note for all you outdoorsy types. Cheers!

*I kid! It’s pretty easy to be vegan just about anywhere in America and so all you whiners better shut the hell up and GO VEG! Also, MOVE TO A COAST. I kid again, GO MIDWEST!

Product review: Reduced Fat Vegenaise!  »

Follow Your Heart’s new Reduced Fat Vegenaise has been floating around health food stores for a few months now, but is totally lacking visibility on the internets (well, besides here). It deserves more love! Made with heart=healthy flaxseed and olive oil, this stuff has about half the fat and calories of original Veganaise. This means you can put twice the amount on your sandwich/nachos/toast/spaghetti!

And what’s more, its taste is seriously on par with the traditional stuff. Weird, huh?! Find it at your local health food store. It has a yellow label. It’s adorable! A perfect dip for steamed artichokes!

This Vegansaur gives it five stars out of five.

[photo by Bryan!]

Review: Gardein Buffalo Wings!  »

Because I’m Canadian, I got in on the Gardein craze a little before most of you Yankees, as the Great White North had that shizz a full year or more before the US of A. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I know my stuff when it comes to pea-protein-based fake meat, so let me lay on you my review of Gardein’s latest oeuvre, Buffalo Wings!

There are a couple schools of thought when it comes to vegan “wings:” there’s the breaded school (crunchy breading covered with hot sauce) and  the not-breaded school. Gardein’s wings are of the not-breaded variety. They are, rather, wing-sized nuggets of Gardein’s magic “chicken” substance covered with a bright red (so you know they’re Buffalo wings) spicy sauce. They come frozen and in a little pouch with the sauce already on, which brings me to my first quibble—you need a microwave to get these out of the pouch and onto the baking sheet in a dignified way. If, like me, you live in a microwave-free household, you have to do what I did and pry those frozen little things apart with your bare hands, which kind of sucks. I mean, it’s hardly a dealbreaker, but you don’t want to do it while wearing a white shirt is all I’m saying.

Once you manage to get them on the baking sheet, though, it’s full speed ahead. The wings bake for about 15 minutes, and then you eat them. First things first: spicy alert! Like I said, I am Canadian, and I’m not terribly heat-tolerant, but these things have a kick! Don’t eat them if you have a bleeding ulcer! Personally, I like a touch more sweetness with my wing sauce, but Gardein’s Buffalo sauce does hit the spot. The wings themselves are satisfying and chewy and pleasantly stringy so that they get ever-so-slightly stuck in your teeth. Floss after eating if you have a date later! Serve with vegan ranch if you have it. I love me some vegan ranch and think that any way I can get it into my mouth is a-OK. I ate a whole package of these by myself for lunch (well, I guess I also ate three pickles with them, but since the nutritional value of pickles is “salt,” I don’t count them), which means I ate 2.5 servings, or 10 pieces. At around $4.50 per package, these ain’t no 10-cent wings, that’s for sure, but they’re certainly cheaper than the napalm-coated wings at Weird Fish (which I love, but they are too spicy). All in all, these are some tasty, reasonably-priced, and surprisingly healthy (not that I endorse counting calories at all, but these are pretty low-calorie, soy-free, and low-fat). Perfect for a night in, and, I suspect, highly compatible with beer.

These things are available in the freezer section at Rainbow and at some Bay Area Whole Foods, and if I know Gardein’s marketing and distribution people, I’m sure they’ll be widely available soon, if they aren’t already.

shopping vegan at the 99 Cent Only store (read: being broke AND awesome)  »

I love the 99¢ Only chain. I mean, it’s dirty, has hella long lines, and may be actively displacing the people of West Oakland, but shit. 99 CENTS ONLY!

If you can look beyond the box of frozen sausage marinara for kids and neon green “less than 2% avocado” guacamole, you’ll find a veganic wonderland of expired goods and opportunity. The West Oakland branch (across the street from BART!) carries those delicious cartons of Imagine Organic No-Chicken Broth (four bucks at health food stores!), half moldy lemons and Smart Balance Light (regular Smart Balance has whey; these fuckers want to keep vegans skinny). They’ve got every necessary condiment aside from Vegenaise, those two Top Ramen flavors that are vegan (though the MSG headache still remains), soymilk (with high fructose corn syrup!), ricemilk (without high fructose corn syrup!), some obscure brand of soy chorizo, and gigantic bags of kettle corn.

Don’t forget the refried beans that taste like nothing (no lard! Yay!), totally ripe avocados, chipotle salsa (they call is “sauce” here but it’s the best!), corn tortillas seemingly made for Daiya quesadillas, almost attractive produce (you only need it for a one night stand!), and the light of my life:

Nacho cheese flavored sunflower seeds!

So rather than speculating as to why this synthetic nacho cheese powder is vegan, or asking yourself whether its ethical to consume metaphorical dairy products, I suggest one personal inquiry: “should I crack open the shell, or just chew ‘em up?”

Additionally, the 99 Cent Only store carries laser pens. This is the best way to play with cats ever. 99 cents!

[Ed.: Bryan May is new to Vegansaurus, and you’re gonna fucking love this guy. He grew up between christian rock and a hard place, but middle school found Crass, and all those forward thinking punx led him to coming out as a vegan to mom in 9th grade. It went well. He lives in the Westest of the Oaklands and is interested in making zines, taking pictures, child development, and trying to keep the company of cats (especially those with disabilities). He bleeds garlic and sweats nutritional yeast.]