vegansaurus!

05/06/2010

03/19/2010

Loads of food, loads of swears, vegetarian kids, meat-obsessed men, literal and figurative pigs AND MORE in today’s link-o-rama!  »

Volunteers from Harvest Sacramento picked over 1,300 pounds of citrus fruits from trees in Midtown Sacramento last weekend; it all went to the city Food Bank. This included fruit from trees in private homes whose owners weren’t able or willing to pick it themselves. Our state capital is now surely scurvy-free and we couldn’t be prouder. [image via Sacramento Press]

Fun-times vegan-style events!
Super-important news, don’t forget: the very second East Bay Vegan Bakesale happens tomorrow, Saturday Mar. 20 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. in front of Issues (20 Glen Ave. at Piedmont Avenue) in Oakland. Even the SF Bay Guardian is (moderately) excited about it!

Tomorrow is also the fourth annual San Francisco International Chocolate Salon, at Fort Mason!

Celebrate the Great American Meat-Out with the San Francisco Vegetarian Society on Sunday, Mar. 21! For a $5 donation you will get hors d’oeuvres, lunch, and attendance at talks by Bob Linden and Dr. Will Tuttle. The event runs from 12:15 to 3:30 p.m. at the Unitarian Center, at 1187 Franklin Street at Geary.

It’s Vegan Week at Supperclub SF! This is especially useful if you are into “participating in” your “dining experience,” rather than “ordering and eating it while conversing pleasantly with your companions” and/or are a hippie gourmand(e). We hear the food is quite good, regardless, so now is probably the time to make reservations for Sunday, Mar. 21, or Tuesday through Thursday, Mar. 23-25.

Next Friday, Mar. 26 Lorna Sass, author of Short-Cut Vegan and Cooking Under Pressure, will give pressure-cooker demonstrations: one at the Ferry Market Plaza at 11 a.m., and one at Omnivore Books—3885 Cesar Chavez St. at 26th Street—at 3 p.m.

Items of social and political import!
Animal-abusers often become people-abusers, so state laws regarding convicted animal-abusers are growing stricter and more prevalent. This is progress, yes? At least authorities are learning to remove animals from abusive situations.

You know what kids love? Animals! You know what kids hate? Hurting animals! You know what conclusions that leads kids to (of their own accord!)? Not eating meat! Yes I know, this is probably another non-trend piece, but at least it is a positive trend piece, rather than some douchey 30-year-old who wears exclusively leather accessories and insists that raw meat is the diet of the future.

Vegetarian kids who buy school lunches may get a break soon: Washington (D.C., duh!) gossip has it that our D.Kuch may have traded his “yes” vote on the healthcare reform bill for E.Kuch’s inclusion—meaning, veg options!—in Michelle Obama’s new campaign for healthy childhood eating habits. Believe it? I don’t know. But I do know that we love the Kuciniches and are super-happy to have Elizabeth’s support for this program.

You could learn to make tasty vegan food to serve the Kuciniches—or your family, whomever—at the Secrets of Vegan Baking site, which has instructional videos by Christine Dickson.

Yes I know, Starbucks is terrible and disappointing. But: VEGAN FRAPPUCCINOS, come on! Now we can drink gigantor coffee milkshakes just like everybody else. America, fuck yeah!

Or if maybe you are doing a “make fast food items at home” thing, as that shit is tasty but also totally vile and full of animal parts, try this recipe for a vegan Shamrock Shake. There’s spirulina in it!

The SFBG praises Urban Tavern’s German vegetable stew. They don’t say whether you can get the enormous pretzel without the “beer sausage,” but I sincerely hope so. I lived in Germany for a year, a freshly baked enormous pretzel is fucking delicious, let me tell you.

FYI, corn is fucking food and fuel prices all up, again. In case there was any question of corn being the most insidious sister.

Executives at giant food corporations continue to be stupid assholes! Who’s surprised?

Erykah Badu continues to be a crazy-awesome human! Who’s surprised?

Dan Barber discusses organic farming in an intelligent, coherent manner—until he gets to the “MY veal and foie gras are totally awesome” bit.

Hello St. Andrew Beach Mouse, from Panama City, Florida! It took a lot of patience and skill for photographer Joel Sartore to capture this image, as well as pictures of six other endangered animals. [image via PDN Photo of the Day]

I love My Life Is So Awkward! This week Caroline reported on a cat who had been called for jury duty, and whose human companion, in response, “chose ‘Does Not Speak English’ as the BEST reason why her cat could not serve on a jury.” Better: “The disqualification was denied and now she is hoping it is cleared up before the summons date so she will not have to bring her cat to court. ” DYING.

Don’t worry, you fucking savages, the Muslin Kenyan President isn’t going to take away your “right” to cold murder fish straight out of our national waters. He may ban “puppies, sunshine, and MOST DISTURBINGLY the leopard-print Snuggie,” who even knows anymore.

It looks like dolphins actually sort of hate it when people swim “with” them, and “dolphin tourism” totally freaks them out and makes it impossible for them to live happy porpoisey lives. Best idea: leaving dolphins the fuck alone!

The USDA’s Economic Research Service presents 100 years of American diet trends, including a ton of graphs. Gross-out data include: in 2008, the average American ate 31.4 pounds of cheese. JESUS CHRIST YOU FUCKERS THAT IS SO MUCH CHEESE. That is, like, a three-year-old child of cheese. So, so disgusting.

For fuck’s sake: PETA and a meat company called “Bullwhip” (which is Google-immune—seriously, you try searching “Bullwhip meat california -peta” and see what happens) are is play-fighting over Sex.com. Really, PETA? Fucking really? Just shoot me in the face, already. [Ed: turns out the “Bullwhip” part is fake! That’d explain why it’s un-Googleable]

There is a World Federation of Chinese Medicine Societies, and in this year of the Tiger it has officially asked its members to stop prescribing “tiger products,” presumably because tigers are endangered, and consuming their skins and/or bones is totally useless.

Ha ha, remember how the United Nations was considering a proposal banning the export of Atlantic bluefin tuna, and the U.S. supported it? Yesterday the U.N. basically said Fuck Off, fishes, we want our sashimi, rejecting the proposal, which “puts the fate of Atlantic bluefin tuna back in the hands of…the very body that drove the species to the disastrous state it is now in.” Fucking AWESOME, U.N.

Grub Street San Francisco launches its version of its parent blog’s column, the San Francisco Diet, with inaugural diarist Michael Bauer. You guys, Laura would be the perfect contributor! Let Grub Street know: our girl must be featured.

In this video, the shih tzu is the alpha dog and the pot-bellied pig is the beta dog. Or, the canine is the Beauregard and the S. s. domestica is the Oliver. (link from Pawesome!)

02/18/2010

What creepy chefs do to get laid  »

Seeing as it takes me days to sift through all of the swill that comes through my Google Reader, and last priority goes to blogs about foods I can’t even eat, I didn’t stumble upon this little gem called “What Chefs Cooks for Their Lovers" from Grub Street until today. Apparently, to get everyone in the Valentine’s Day mood, they asked chefs what they would cook for their “lovaaaahs” to get them all hot and bothered. The responses, simply put, are appalling. I mean, seriously. I felt uncomfortable reading this, and not just because of all the disgusting animal references. I don’t need the “velvety, smooth and sensual texture” of scallops to get aroused, and there’s no quicker way to get my legs to snap closed than mentioning the “musky scent” of Mediterranean turbot with white truffles. Are we really supposed to assume that everyone looking to get laid acts like a dog in heat at the sight of dead animals? Gross. Just gross.

But it’s not like the article gets any better when the animal references are left out of it: “Massage the dough together with your lover’s hands”;  “gets her from table to mattress”; [Ed.: admittedly hard to do when said lover is in a food coma and/or has food poisoning from all that meat!] “evoke the lady (sweet) in the street, whore (spicy) in the bedroom quality that all true men love”?!?!?! Excuse me while I go vomit. Way to go, Grub Street; you’ve officially skeeved me out. I don’t want the image of those slightly misogynistic chefs and their significant others slobbering all over each others’ greasy fingers haunting me every time I close my eyes, but congratulations, you’ve unapologetically assaulted my sense with images I DID NOT WANT AT ANY POINT IN MY LIFE. I think the only thing worse would be photos of the actual chefs, because chefs are usually the LAST people you want to imagine naked.

Or maybe you’re into this; I don’t judge (that hard).

You just know they don’t take their Crocs off in bed. And if anyone ever tried to feed me blindfolded I’d bite their fingers off. Or wonder why I wasn’t being tied up. Let’s be real; I have three jobs and no time for this hand-fed, “don’t you love my meat” (get your mind out of the gutter) bullshit. Just slap me with a slab of tofu and forget moving to the mattress—we’ve got a perfectly good kitchen table to ruin.

We’re trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful so here you go: Kristen is a lovely young writer and editor living in San Francisco.

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