Today in obvious news: Red meat is totally going to kill you »
Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health say: eating red meat increases your chances of dying! A study, “Red Meat Consumption and Mortality,” published this week in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found that even one serving of red meat a day makes you 13 percent likelier to die sooner than those of us eating less meat. Moreover, eating one daily serving of processed meat increases that number to 20 percent. Meat’s gonna kill you!
Neither research fellow and study author An Pan, nor professor of nutrition and epidemiology and fellow author Frank Hu, advocate a 100 percent meatless diet. Pan tells CNN that “It’s better to go with plants and unprocessed foods,” while Hu tells NPR that though “the results are staggering … we’re not talking about a vegetarian diet.” Maybe you should! It’s not hard, it’s really not. And it’s obviously so much better for you.
My theory: Eating too much meat makes you stupid. Check out what Betsey Booren, director of scientific affairs for the American Meats Institute Foundation (too many nouns, friends), said to NPR to illustrate why the AMI “disputes” the findings that processed meat products are terrible: “They’re made from meat, which is needed in the body.” Oh, Betsey. Thank you for your brilliant insight.