NPR calls for end to Omni-Veg holiday food wars  »

Remember a couple months ago, when NPR went veg-trolling with that “Do Vegetarians and Vegans Think They Are Better Than Everyone Else?" story? And it turned the answer was, "Some of them do, but you wouldn’t want to hang out with anyone with a superiority complex, so let’s just chill," and all we meat-abstainers went "Fucking DUH, NPR," and turned up the Ryan Tedder’s Greatest Hits playlist on Spotify instead?

I thought not. We remind you of that nonsense because of this week’s ridiculous veg-baiting, “It’s Time to End the Turkey-Tofurky Thanksgiving Food Fight.” Right now you’re thinking, “What food fight? You mean the holiday meals when I get a main dish all to myself and at least half the sides are vegan, because either I make them or I have an accommodating family who realizes that the taste differences between non-dairy and real butter are totally negligible?” Which, you’d be right. Author Tania Lombrozo has nothing new to say here:

For the turkey-eaters: vegetarians probably aren’t judging you as harshly as you think they are. For the Tofurky-eaters: making meat-eaters feel judged is no way to win converts. And for the turkeys: better luck next year; I’m on your side.

How about: Don’t eat actual turkeys, like the fine specimen above; eat fake turkey, like the fine specimen below. And if your dinner guests give you shit, don’t invite them over next year.

Both tastier and cheaper than Tofurky!

Did you vegan Thanksgiving-celebrators have a good time? Did you harangue your relations about the horrors of U.S. turkey production until they threw you out? Were you mocked for your animal-product-eschewing ways until you wept? Did anyone get a drink in the face? No, right? I swear, this contentiousness exists almost exclusively in fiction. We in the real world are doing just fine sharing meals.

[Wild turkey photo by Wayne Dumbleton via Flickr]

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