LAST WEEKEND for Beats ‘n’ Brunch :( »
Beats ‘n’ Brunch, the best vegan brunch in San Francisco, is going buh-bye until WE DON’T KNOW. We pray it’s not long because it’s by far the tastiest vegan brunch in SF. Major fucking bummer. We pray this is a hiatus and these fools will come back stronger than ever because if there is one thing SF needs, it’s good vegan brunch. I guess I’ll go back to eating Effexor for weekend brunch because that’s what this fucking city is driving me to. Goodbye, Korean Pancakes, I hardly knew ye. So long, Badonkadonk, I barely badonkedonked ye. Farewell, vegan hippie brunch geniuses, I didn’t know you well, but I woulda gone to your yoga class.* Or at least made fun of your camel toe in it, whatevs.
Beats ‘n’ Brunch still killing it! »
I was back in SF last weekend and we had a regular old Vegansaurus party at Beats ‘n’ Brunch! Laura reviewed it before but I had never been. IT’S OFF THE HOOK! I got the “Freedom toast” pictured below (9/11 humor!). It was bangin’. I also got the bottomless mimosa and this I MUST RECOMMEND.
Next is some tortilla thing that almost everyone got but me. I hear it was good but I didn’t try it. It had some cutesy hip-hop-related name that I now forget. But rest assured it was cute and hip-hoppy! [Ed.: it’s called “The Durty 30”!]
Steve and I also went to town on the bread pudding of the day. Again, there was a cutesy name involved that I forgot, but the flavor was stone fruit and coconut. Scrumptious! I did my best to keep up the picture-taking though I forgot to take one before we started with the bread pudding, so here’s one midway:
Sorry! It’s still a sweet pic though! You can taste the stone fruit goodness.
Moral of the story: If you haven’t been to Beats ‘n’ Brunch yet, GET TO STEPPIN’! Also, Laura’s description of the ambience is spot-on and I was all, “OMG so SF.” I decided that, per-capita, there are as many good-looking people in San Francisco as there are in New York; they just have funnier, most likely homemade haircuts.
THE FACTS: Beats ‘n’ Brunch is a vegan brunch that happens outside of Bollyhood Cafe on 19th Street between Mission and Capp Streets every Saturday and Sunday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. It’s tasty, you should totally go.
THE SASS: This place is run by a bunch of hipster hippies who don’t brush their hair and wear cropped Hello Kitty t-shirts. Wait, no, I’m talking about a rave. Um, they just dress “different” and wear shit like vests without shirts and bandanas tied around their heads and have definitely participated in drum circles at some point in their lives. What I’m trying to say is: I totally blended.
They’re also hella nice and the food is straight delicious. They’ve got sweet bread pudding, Korean pancakes (pictured above), flat bread sandwiches, pulled bbq seitain, massive salads, mimosas, sangria, and MORE. Seriously, it’s some of the best brunch game in town (please take this with a grain of salt because San Francisco fucking blows at vegan brunch. Seriously, in Portland, brunch goes on brunch pail trees. FOR REALSIES. Also, their mayor is a vegan croissanwich.). It’s definitely worth a visit and if the steampunk-cum-Birkenstock vibe doesn’t turn you off, you’ll be back for more. I went two days in a row and that scene normally repulses me so that food ain’t no joke. Plus, I was introduced to this place by VegNews and chef Jesse Miner, and those people don’t mess.
PLEASE TO NOTE: Your food might come in 5 minutes or it might take an hour, bring an attractive date or a crossword puzzle.
The Perfect Saturday in San Francisco! YES, TODAY. »
Hi All. It has come to my attention that today could seriously be an amazing day in San Francisco and it’s not too late for you to enjoy it. So if don’t wanna sit around in your underwear watching instant netflix on your wii (I’m not hating because that shit is fresh), here is another alternative:
You get to Buffalo Exchange on Valencia Street (or any in the city if you just want the awesome deals but if you’re doing my perfect day then you’re gonna hit the one a block from my house OK) and buy tons of shit for ONE DOLLAR and the money goes to the Humane Society of the United States to help protect wild life. Fresh. You need some cute new clothes and you’re broke so do it to it. It opens at 11 a.m. so get there early for the good stuff.
Next, head down the street to Beats n Brunch by Homemade Hustle at Bollyhood Cafe. This thing has a million names and we’re not exactly sure what it is but apparently the food is hella good and includes a large vegan brunch menu with shit like French toast and vegan buttermilk pancakes and huge scrambles and all sorts of deliciousness. Plus, it’s like a block from Weird Fish so you can flip them the bird while you eat your epic vegan feast. It goes from 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. but head over right after Buffalo Exchange so the unorganized hippies (WHO SAID THAT) don’t run out of shit.
AND THEN. You go to the vegan bakesale in Dolores Park and lay in the sun, eating cupcakes. It goes from 1 to 4 p.m. so it should work into your day perfectly.
HAS ANYONE EVER GIVEN YOU SUCH A GIFT AS THIS DAY OF PLEASURE, ROMANCE, INTRIGUE, AND FUN??? You can send your panties to me now. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING AND NOT SENDING ME YOUR PANTIES? Jesus Christ, I have to do everything around here!!