vegansaurus!

11/10/2011

Ready to get your winter solstice festival gift-buying done? Get everyone you know a 2012 calendar from the Missouri House Rabbit Society! June has a rabbit eating a carrot cake! September has buns ‘n’ shoes! August has two big fluffy lops with guitars! But who cares about the props; all we really want are BUNNY PICTURES OMG.
The calendars cost one for $15, two for $25, etc., which includes shipping. Order here! Order now! Let’s fund some buns!

Ready to get your winter solstice festival gift-buying done? Get everyone you know a 2012 calendar from the Missouri House Rabbit Society! June has a rabbit eating a carrot cake! September has buns ‘n’ shoes! August has two big fluffy lops with guitars! But who cares about the props; all we really want are BUNNY PICTURES OMG.

The calendars cost one for $15, two for $25, etc., which includes shipping. Order here! Order now! Let’s fund some buns!

05/06/2011

Benefit for bunnies at BOTH Saturn Cafes on May 11!  »

Because Jesus’ resurrection is all about the bunny rabbits, ridiculous people are like “Hey it’s Easter, I know, let’s get a pet I don’t really want because that will be hilarious!” And then oh, say, two-and-a-half weeks later they’re like, “Screw this, I didn’t realize bunnies made poop” and they give up the adorable little guy. Then the rabbit rescue people are like, “OMG I love bunnies there are so many of them now! What do we do?”

Well, if the rabbit rescue people are from either the House Rabbit Society in Richmond or The Rabbit Haven near Santa Cruz, they convince the bunny-allies at Saturn Cafe to host a fundraiser for them. Because nothing says “let’s rescue rabbits” like a giant plate of vegan nachos and a tofu breakfast burrito.* Hooray!

All you have to do to help is EAT! Bring a copy of the flyer (Berkeley | Santa Cruz) to either Saturn location anytime on Wednesday, May 11, and 10 percent of “all qualifying purchases” will go to helping the bunnies. Berkeley is open from 11 a.m. to midnight, and you can get your eat on in Santa Cruz from 11 a.m. to 3 a.m.

Not only that, if you play your cards right, you may get to talk to real live bunny-rescuers. From their keyboards to your eyeballs:

Meet representatives from the House Rabbit Society. Rub elbows with the Rabbit Center staff, founders of HRS, supervisors, educators, and other bunny enthusiasts. We’ll be there to meet and greet from 6 to 9 p.m. Sign up for our reserved tables and dine other bunny people. Or just drop in. Bring in a copy of our flyer. For more details visit, www.rabbit.org/rabbit-center or call (510) 970.7575.

This will be an OUT OF THIS WORLD event for our bunnies! Rabbit Haven volunteers will orbit in and out during the day to say Hi and thank you! Bring family and friends and make this a great fundraiser for the Rabbits of Santa Cruz County! Bring in a copy of our flyer. For more details, visit, www.therabbithaven.org or call (831) 600. 7479.

Mark your calendar! Eat food! Don’t forget the flyer! Because you read this far, more cute pictures (props to C. Parshall who took the photos of HRS bunnies from a rescue in Sacramento)!

*Those are my own personal favorite menu items, since you were wondering.

02/04/2011

Make your next bun a rerun!  »

I recently finished advertising school for copywriting, which means I made fake ads! All the time! I made some for the House Rabbit Society and I thought I’d share.

Disclaimer: The House Rabbit Society did not ask me to make these, but I did send them their way and they liked them! I’m making a few for some local chapters! So fun.

There’s no need to go to the pet store, the right bun for you could already be out there!

There’s a few more if you want to check them out! And if you need a copywriter, Megan Rascal is your man.

10/15/2010

Adopting bunnies, eating ramen, pie making contests & more! It’s your weekend activities!  »

We’re here to make your weekend amazing! Do the damn thing(s):

Saturday, Oct. 16
The House Rabbit Society and Harvest Home Sanctuary will have their regular adoption event today! Go see the bunnies from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at George in Berkeley! Harvest Home Sanctuary and House Rabbit Society buns will be waiting for you in the Fourth Street Shopping Center at 1824 Fourth St. Why not look at some of them now?

It’s the Berkeley’s Walk for Farm Animals today! Go! Walk! Be awesome and help animals and walk it out for a good cause!

Help a Brother Out bakesale and street food party fundraiser in the mission. All sorts of delicious baked goods (in the afternoon!) and street food (in the evening!) and GO!

SwapSF is back! I feel like this counts as vegan because when people obtain leather shoes or woolen sweaters through trade, they’re stopping the supply-and-demand cycle that keeps new leather shoes and woolen sweaters in production. y/y? Also it’s good for the environment, and SwapSF always has drink specials because the organizers love drinking in the early afternoon. Buy a $6 presale ticket and bring your tradeable clothes to Mighty at 119 Utah St. (between 15th and Alameda Streets); the swap goes from noon to 3 p.m.

Sunday, Oct. 17
It’s the 8th Annual Spice of Life Festival in Berkeley! From 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Shattuck Avenue between Rose and Virginia Streets (five blocks!), there will be all kinds of Berkeleyania—an “eco-carnival,” an “interactive nature sculpture project,” a puppet show—but also awesome foodstuffs from places we love: Saturn Cafe, Scream Sorbet, Flacos; plus some places that sound like they should be vegan, like Raw Daddy Foods, Chick ‘o Peas falafel, Skylite Snowballs; and Chairman Bao makes a crispy tofu bun. Best: it’s free. Have fun, East Bay!

Mission Pie’s fourth annual Pie Contest is today! Did you enter? You still have until 5 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 15 to do so! Just send an email with your name, type of pie, and contact information, then bring your pie to Mission Pie at 2901 Mission St. at 25th Street between 2 and 2:30 p.m. on Sunday!
Did you want to come sample the pies? Show up at the same place around the same time, pie-free. Easy-peasy.

Southern Ramen and Blues from 6 to 10 p.m. at Gravel and Gold—we told you all about it already, remember?

Wednesday, Oct. 20
There will be a protest against the Grand National Rodeo held at the Cow Palace (2600 Geneva Ave. in Daly City) on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of this week. The protests are scheduled from 6 to 7:30 p.m., and banners and signs will be provided. This is all the information we have now; we’ll give you more as we get it.

Friday, Oct. 22
Next weekend already? Yes, it’s important: Carol J. Adams is speaking at UC Berkeley! The Berkeley Organization for Animal Advocacy put this together; aren’t they great? Ms. Adams will speak from 2 to 4 p.m. in 2060 VLSB on campus; “many vegan treats” will be provided, and Ms. Adams’ books The Sexual Politics of Meat and The Pornography of Meat will be available for purchase.

Even later this month!
On Wednesday, Oct. 27 at the Saturn Cafe in Berkeley (2175 Allston Way at Fullton Street), Stephanie Redcross of Vegan Mainstream will have answers to your questions about making your vegan blog the best vegan blog it can be! This seminar/Q&A is called Unleashing the Power of Efficient Vegan Marketing, is scheduled for 6 to 8 p.m., and is free with registration. Naturally, Karine Brighten Events is hosting.

Don’t forget about the East Bay Vegan Bakesale! It’s happening on Saturday, Oct. 30 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., in front of Issues (20 Glen Ave. at Piedmont) in Oakland. All proceeds will benefit Mickaboo Companion Bird Rescue and the East Bay Children’s Book Project. Want to volunteer (of course you do!)? Email the organizers!

09/24/2010

Weekend events spectacular!  »

You guys! There are so many events this weekend, we can’t even take it! If we included them with this week’s link-o-rama, the post would be about a mile long, which we cannot inflict on you, so here’s an extra-special events-only post. Have fun, everyone!

Friday, Sept. 24
Farm Film Night at Hayes Valley Farm! Jordan already gave you the details yesterday, but here are the quick details: Event starts at 6 p.m., film, Vanishing of the Bees, at sundown; raffles and snacks; $5 suggested donation. Hayes Valley Farm is located at 450 Laguna St. at Fell Street.

Saturday, Sept. 25
It’s International Rabbit Day! Come celebrate at the House Rabbit Society at 148 Broadway in Richmond! They have all kinds of amusements planned, like bunny-petting face-painting and a Hop Shop sale, and food including a bake sale, snow cones, and a cake walk! It is true, people still organize and participate in cake walks. Obviously, there will be many rabbits present in need of permanent and foster homes, so even if you hate face-painting and snow cones, you should still come out to HRS HQ to meet the buns. Fostering an animal is a wonderful way to see if you’re ready for animal-companionship on a permanent basis.

It’s also the first day of the Great Big Vegan Garage Sale at VegNews! Laura brought you the news yesterday, so here’s the rundown: It’s happening from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at 3620 Wawona St. at 47th Avenue, and basically everything imaginable is on sale! Woo!

You can also train to be a Volunteer Animal Disaster Service Worker! This is a series of free classes organized by the SFDCPA, the same group who’s been giving “how to prepare yourself and your companion animal(s) for a disaster” seminars at different branches of the SFPL! The first class runs from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. at 1550 Bryant Street; register online or by phone at 415/ 970 2024. [via SF Appeal!]

Sunday, Sept. 26
Rocket Dog Rescue
is having a HUGE garage sale today at 1569 Custer Ave.  from 10 a.m. till it’s over! Come by to support us and get rad stuff! They’ll have TONS and TONS of goodies, including EVERYTHING YOU NEED and more! All the money goes directly to the dogs so you can feel like the good person that you are.

It’s also the second and last day of the Great Big Vegan Garage Sale! Today it’ll run from noon to 5 p.m., again at 3620 Wawona St. at 47th Avenue, and whatever wasn’t sold on Saturday MUST GO TODAY, so get on over to see what deals are left!

Today Cranky Boots Pops will debut at 331 Cortland! The storefront isn’t ready yet, so look out for a “custom paleta cart” from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Wunderground predicts perfect popsicle weather, and SFoodie says two of the flavors are vegan (strawberry-basil and peach lemonade!), so if you’re looking for an alternative to MaggieMudd, how about a fruity pop?

Future Events you should prepare for!
The 11th Annual World Veg Fest is just one week away! It’s happening Saturday and Sunday, Oct. 2 and 3 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. in the County Fair Building in Golden Gate Park at 9th Avenue and Lincoln Way. This year there will be a vegan fashion show, which includes designs by Vegansaurus favorite Vaute Couture (highly recommended!); and two rounds of speed-dating, segregated by age (your Vegansaurus feels uncomfortable about speed-dating), in addition to the many speakers, booksellers, food booths, and free samples. Entrance fee is $7, which is waived before 10:30 a.m.

Farm Sanctuary’s 2010 Walk for Animals, Berkeley edition is scheduled for Saturday, Oct. 16; participants will meet at noon at the Berkeley Martin Luther King, Jr. Civic Center (2151 Martin Luther King Jr Wy.) for registration and some “fun activities,” and the walk begins at 1 p.m. For more information, contact the local coordinators, Karine Brighten and Gina Grega, or register now!

09/17/2010

Is that the pungent odor of bitter disgust mixed with maniacal enthusiasm? Why yes, it’s this week’s link-o-rama!  »


What ho, young Philip! When Your Vegansaurus leads with a bunny photo, it means there’s an adoption event this weekend, and this one is tomorrow, Saturday, Sept. 18 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at George in Berkeley! Harvest Home Sanctuary and House Rabbit Society buns will be waiting for you in the Fourth Street Shopping Center at 1824 Fourth St.—big buns and little buns, baby buns and grown-up buns, ready for you to meet and befriend and take home to love forever and ever. Wee Philip here, along with his mum and littermates were dumped outside a pet store. Wouldn’t you love to end his nightmare by taking him and a sibling home? Look at his little paws, they are chocolate-dipped!

And what else is happening this weekend, Vegansaurus?
How about dinner and a movie tonight? As in, Friday, Sept. 17! OK it’s not original, but the details are: attend a screening of Bicycle Bride by local filmmaker Hassan Zee at Maharani Restaurant, and eat your heart’s (NOT stomach’s; heart’s. stomach lies; heart encourages) content at a massive vegan buffet! Dinner is at 6 p.m., and the film screens at 7:15. Tickets cost $25, which is a good deal for ALL YOU CAN EAT VEGAN FOOD, plus a movie! Maharani is at 1122 Post St., between Van Ness and Polk Streets.

Tonight, tomorrow and Sunday are action days for anti-circus leafleting in Stockton! This is organized by Humanity Through Education, who direct you here for details. Leafleting and protesting will take place at the Stockton Arena, at 248 Fremont St., at 5:30 this evening, 12:45 and 5:30 p.m. tomorrow, and 2:45 p.m. on Sunday. Contact Pat Cuviello with questions and/or to RSVP.

If you missed the previous two discussions about “Preparing Yourself and Your Animal Companion for a Disaster,” the SFPL will present one more on Wednesday, Sept. 22 at 6:30 p.m. at the Glen Park Branch, at 2825 Diamond St. The discussion will be held by a panel of experts from the SF Disaster Preparedness Coalition for Animals. Your Vegansaurus is fine with your blasé attitude toward earthquake preparedness, but if you have companion animals, you owe it to them to be ready.

Also on Weds., Sept. 22 from 7 to 8:30 p.m. at the Excelsior branch, check out the documentary Dark Water Rising: Survival Stories of Hurricane Katrina Animal Rescues. The Excelsior Branch is located at 2200 Mission St. at Cotter Street.

Vegansaurus, I need something to read!
Peter Singer reminds pescatarians of the massive cost of catching their dinners, in particular that “is no humane slaughter requirement for wild fish caught and killed at sea.” Of course Rick Moonen, who prides himself in serving “sustainable” fish at his restaurant in Las Vegas, is staunchly against the GMO salmon. On this single, solitary, lone point, Your Vegansaurus and Rick Moonen find agreement—this shit is fucked up. Now stop acting like serving fish is at all sustainable in any environment, Moonen, and work on developing gourment mock-fish. Then you’ll be a real ocean warrior. Oh, and do tell us how you stand on tuna?

People are so good at killing animals these days! Last week, caretakers in Kyoto, Japan, somehow caused the death of Xin Xin the panda during an attempt to collect his sperm, which they were going to use to artificially inseminate his partner Tan Tan. Chinese panda experts are investigating. Poor Xin Xin was on loan (like a vase!) from China, and per the agreement, Japan apparently owes $500,000 for his death. Goodnight, sweet prince; may heaven be a nonstop party. In Honker Bay, Calif., a contractor working for Chevron drained a 700-acre “duck pond,” and whoops, the 1,500 fish living there had no water and DIED. Sorry, fish! Chevron totally had all the right permits and everything! Well, Professional Lab and Research Services, Inc., of North Carolina won’t be torturing or murdering any animals for the foreseeable future, thanks to…Peta. Sometimes old uncle Peta stops embarrassing us and does something awesome, like shut down a horrible, abusive lab that was testing ANIMAL CARE PRODUCTS.

Adorable-drawing break! Check out Tiny Pets, the sweetest little Tumblr you ever saw! The concept is super-simple: the artist draws a little portrait of your pet! This one of Josie is noteworthy first because of her little rescued-on date—everyone loves a rescue cat!—and second because it’s reminiscent of a classic “mom” tattoo. Buy a pet portrait from Tiny Pets, whose own cat came from BARC in Brooklyn! Or at least check out the archives to see every singular pet portrait, they really are wonderful.

Now, back to the unhappiness: LGBT Compassion reports that they have identified the factory farms that supply the birds being sold at Heart of the City Farmers Market, one of which is Gemperle Farms, which used to supply Trader Joe’s with eggs until they were exposed as extreme hen torturers. For more information on this breaking news, please contact LGBT Compassion. For more information on why Colonel Sanders should be as big an icon as George Washington or Jesus or something, please read Josh Ozersky’s ridiculous column. Or not, as it may induce violent rage and you don’t want to hit the first innocent person you see. Read this nice story about poor chickens who were being “hoarded”—like pillows or toenail clippings, but actual LIVING CREATURES—but have since been rescued and now live at our beloved Animal Place.

Hey guys, don’t worry about the egg recall, or any food recalls, really: Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), one of the worst citizens of our beloved country, isn’t! He’s going to stop the food-safety bill from passing, all by his lonesome, for no specific reason! Our theory: he hates you! He wants people to die from food-borne illnesses! Then there will be fewer people to vote against him in his next election! Unfortunately for Evil Tom Coburn, the longer the horrorshow of “meat production” remains a media talking point, the less meat people actually eat. So unless nightmarish conditions on factory farms allow E. coli or Salmonella to infiltrate our precious fruits and vegetables again, his plan to kill people through food defeats itself! Very slowly! Evil Tom Coburn: secretly loves irony. What we need to do is get in on this science-magic from China that grows vegetables without sunlight or soil—that will save us from runoff and soil erosion and pesticides and Evil Tom Coburn’s plan to force us to eat animal poop. Help us, China! Help us all afford produce untainted by bacteria and devils!

Happy stories time? How about a video of a three-month-old orphaned otter learning to swim in a bathtub? Right? Little Garaint is being rehabbed at Secret World Wildlife Rescue in Highbridge, Somerset; part of that involves socialization, and instead of meeting lots of people (bad!), Garaint is making friends with Mollie the Labrador retriever puppy, and another baby otter called Snuffles. SNUFFLES THE BABY OTTER. OK, now laugh and cry with this slideshow from Pup My Ride, a program by Best Friends Animal Society that takes dogs from shelters and puppy mills to “local rescue partners with highly successful adoption programs.” More weeping, you say? How about the story of The Old Lady Pigeons’ Retirement Home, which should be adapted into a mystery-solving series ASAPly. It is the sweetest story that may also cause you to cry, because life is so hard and ugly and lovely.

08/20/2010

We may be crazy, but at least we’re not racist creeps! It’s this week’s link-o-rama!   »

Better Know a Lobby - American Meat Institute

Stephen Colbert better knows a meat lobbyist, just for us! [can’t see the video? watch in on Vegansaurus.com!]

Your vegany events!
The very first Peninsula Vegan Bakesale happens tomorrow, Saturday Aug. 21 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.! It’s at the EVO store, at 159 South B St. in San Mateo, and will benefit the Coalition on Homelessness San Francisco and Pets in Need. And the next time some jerk asks you why you care so much about animals when there are so many people suffering, you can just show them this awesome flyer and walk away like the smuggest bastard in the world.

Also tomorrow from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. the House Rabbit Society is having its monthly rabbit adoption event at George in Berkeley! You can bring your rabbit/s in for a nail trim and/or to make new friends, and anyone interested in learning more about buns is welcome to stop by. George is located at 1824 Fourth Street. Remember you can preview the adoptable rabbits, and if there’s one (or more) you really want to see, email Anne and she’ll do her best to ensure s/he shows up tomorrow.

Finally, Farm Sanctuary is hosting a California Twilight Tour from 6 to 9:30 p.m. on Saturday at the shelter in Orland. Tickets vost $25 for adults and $15 for children under under 13; the Sanctuary will provide vegan snacks, including wine and beer, and live music. To register, call 607-583-2225 ext. 221, or do it online.

Wildcare asks that all California voters please send a message to the state Senate asking that those jerks pass AB 234, which would “require booms around fueling vessels in California’s open waters.”

Animal Place asks that Californians please email State Fair Manager Norbert Bartosik and politely but firmly ask him to eliminate the live birth exhibits at State Fair, as they are what some might call revolting and barbaric.

Tom Scocca reports that 100 Canada geese have returned to Prospect Park, after a flock of 400 were murdered last month. Kinship Circle asks that you please email a whole bunch of responsible parties in New York and New Jersey to ask that they refrain from murdering any more of the estimated 250,000 geese presently living in New York state, despite state biologists’ estimations that the state can hold no more than 85,000 geese.

Invisible octopus—it’s AMAZING!
[can’t see the video? watch in on Vegansaurus.com!]

Vegany weekend reading!
Let’s begin with local news! This week, some complete assholes fellow humans from the Aquarium of the Bay caught a big sevengill shark. Then Demian Bulwa wrote an article about it, full of awful puns. Sevengills live in open ocean; this one will be kept in a 350,000 gallon tank. Even the Chronicle commentariat are united in rage. In the lily pond in Golden Gate Park, evil AFRICAN clawed frogs have INVADED and are slowly INFILTRATING ecosystems as far as Sacramento and BEYOND. Some citizens want to emulate Australia’s cane toad VIGILANTES, just cold murdering AFRICAN clawed frogs like they were MILITARY INVADERS, because officials won’t listen to their demands to EUTHANIZE the KILLER AFRICAN MENACE. Haighteration reminds residents that if you are having, um, “trouble” with the gang of feral cats running that block in neighborhood (Catsterdam? no?), please get a free trap from the SF SPCA and do your part. There’s a new head of the Vicious and Dangerous Animal Unit at the SFPD—specifically, one officer in charge of animal court trials, and another in charge of investigations—in an effort to “modernize the unit.”

Gena of Choosing Raw wrote a really awesome post about the Target Bronx Community Garden, with a ton of pretty pictures (side note: I am stealing Duane to raise as my own. LOOK AT THAT FACE it is irresistable). Some doctors are using “prescription coupons” to give their patients—most often poorer people—funds to buy produce through farmers’ market nutrition programs. Some of it is anti-obesity stuff, which your Vegansaurus despises on principle, but we fully support everyone getting equal access to delicious fruit and vegetables. The tomato: “cold and moist,” reminiscent of a lady’s special area, the freakiest thing to come from the Americas in the 17th century—how did those dumb white people figure out that it was delicious?

That’s enough smiling. This week, during a corrida in Spain that “consists of getting as close as possible to the bull, without getting hurt” but not actually murdering the animal, the bull had enough of the taunting spectators and leapt into the stands, injuring 40 people (link includes video). All the people living around Lake Tahoe are having trouble with a tricksy bear they call “Bubba,” who outwits dogs and has proven immune to bullets. He even steals from church! Why can’t bears just stay in the forest area people haven’t cut down for giant vacation homes yet? When you eat church peanut butter, you make the baby Jesus cry, Bubba. Their palates bored by fried strips of dead pig, “foodies” now turn to beef, lamb, and veal “bacon” to free themselves from their culinary torpor. Your Vegansaurus wonders if do-it-yourself animal slaughter isn’t gaining popularity—not that we buy that, entirely—because of omnivores’ need to sate their bloodlust, rather than the depression 2.0, self-sustaining bullshit they tell themselves is the reason they’re so happy to hack into bunny’s head. If we’re going to eat animals, no one is better than the other. You may continue eating dog, Chinese people—white dude, out.

OK some good news: they released the first oiled turtles back into the Gulf of Mexico yesterday! Of course the article neglects to say where the turtles were released, how directly that area of the Gulf has been affected by the oil spill, and whether they expect the turtles to survive, considering just how fucked up the Gulf is. But hey! Rescued endangered sea turtles! Maybe buy a wallet made of recycled newspapers and plastic bags from Holstee—Ecouterre reports that the wallets provide “fair-wage employment, healthcare, and education for the people who craft them.” Get out of town, Holstee.

FINALLY: Look, Grub Street SF got on board the Abby train! It’s about time, pals.

07/04/2010

Adopt-a-Rabbit update!  »


Good news, everyone
! Anne reports that the Adopt-a-Rabbit event on Saturday was a great success! All of 14 rabbits found loving homes, including Misses Bijou and Clementine. Isn’t that lovely? And there’ll be another, even bigger bunny adoption event in a few weeks in Richmond, in case you missed this one and need a bun in your life (hint: you do)—we’ll keep you posted with details as they’re finalized. In the meantime, please direct your questions to Anne.

Thanks to everyone who went, and all the people who took home a rabbit. It’s basically your patriotic duty to adopt an animal, so consider yourselves better citizens for it. Or at least better residents, whatever. Love your animal pals, that’s what’s important.

[pictured: Goldie and Kisses, of the Harvest Home Animal Sanctuary]

06/18/2010

This week certainly has been trying; thank goodness it’s time for the link-o-rama!  »


This is Wilson, a bunny from Harvest Home Sanctuary. He could be your best new bunny pal, if you are in Berkeley tomorrow! HE HAS HIS OWN BUNNY TO CUDDLE!! Wilson is a meta-bunny! Read about where and when to find him below.

Event-y things!
Your Vegansaurus loves bunnies; what about you? This week, the SFPD confiscated 23 bunnies from a pet store—it’s illegal to sell them in the city—and you can adopt them from Animal Care and Control starting tomorrow, Saturday June 19, at noon. Harvest Home Sanctuary is also holding a rabbit-adoption event in the East Bay, in conjunction with the House Rabbit Society, on Saturday! You can meet rabbits at Berkeley’s 4th Street Shopping District, at 1824 4th St., from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

News-ish items!
What the FUCK: Miami is building a new stadium for the Florida Marlins, which will include two saltwater aquariums as part of the walls around home plate. “To safeguard it from impact, Lexan—the material used for bulletproof windows—will be installed in front and in back of the acrylic panels.” I’m sure that the animals living in those aquariums will totally appreciate the thickness of the material, seeing as how it has to be designed to withstand fucking BASEBALLS BEING THROWN AT IT.

On the sea creatures tip, let’s talk about whales. Japan, what is your goddamn problem? Some groups are hardcore protesting showings of The Cove, while you’re bribing the fuck out of members of the International Whaling Commission?! Just disgusting. Apparently 95 percent of people in Japan have never eaten whale—just drop it already. EVERYONE JUST FUCKING DROP IT. Norway and Iceland, you too. Maybe Pierce Brosnan will convince you? Maybe.

Egg production is supremely fucked up; for one, “egg production” is a tidy euphemism for “forcing hens to lay eggs.” Even “free-range” is a lie: the Humane Society filed a complaint against Rose Acre Farms this week because the conditions the company’s chickens live in are fucking horrific, certainly not the “humane and happy environment” full of “happy” chickens Rose Acre is selling people.

Look, they grow vegetables at the North Pole! Yes, even iceberg lettuce (not that that’s funny, per se). Here are some tips on storing your lettuce so as to keep it fresh and crispy as long as possible. Oh and try not to feed anyone juice boxes or fruit cocktails, as even the “organic” ones are full of lead.

Matt Baume "meets the city’s most unlikey pets" in the Bold Italic; the founder of Slow Food USA wants to integrate slaughterhouses, by way of mobile units, into cities. That’s what I want on my streets—the sounds of mass-murder! Definitely the solution is more, smaller slaughterhouses in urban areas. Alternatively, we could do like U.S. Designer of the Year John Bartlett and stop participating in terrible systems of death.

Terrible system of the week: wildlife photography. It is mainly a lie; the animals are bred in captivity, rented out for pictures, and often sold on the exotic-animal black market. The feature in Audubon magazine on these horrific, depressing, disgusting practices is shocking. And gross. You absolutely must read it.

OK right, everything continues to be really awful, and I’m sorry about that. Science says that good things happen to people who do good things, though, so keep on doing your part for the animals. Be as cynical as you like; the key is not losing your empathy (I think).

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