Happy Hug a Vegetarian OR MORE IMPORTANTLY A VEGAN Day! »
According to PETA, it’s Hug a Vegetarian Day! I hope you’ll all use this as an excuse to cop a feel on the closest vegan hottie (or nottie! we don’t know what you’re into!).
We’d also like to take this time to suggest a possible, “Copulate with an Omnivore Day!” This would happen annually (or daily, we can discuss specifics later) when we would take to the streets in search of omnivores to do sex to. This is a public service, people! Once you go vegan, you never go back! Unless you’re a dumb dumb with a shitty moral fiber <— see, I’m charming the omni’s already!
My suggested first piece of propaganda (starring ME! Laura B! Can’t you see! I’ll stop!) would look something like this:
It’s good, right!*? Sex sells! Seriously, let’s rap on this idea. Leave your thoughts below and please don’t feel like you must restrict them to my cuteness, no matter how relevant it is!
In addition, because I’m good looking and overly kind, I’m offering my writing and talking services to any pathetic vegans out there who sit alone at night, not knowing the glory of the love of another stupid, stupid human being. THAT’S RIGHT: I’ll write you a personal ad! Or, I’ll talk to that cute vegan you’re interested in and let them know that you’re interested in them and we’ll do this up, middle school style! Or, I could even be your Cyrano de Bergerac. Except, please keep in mind that I am attractive and so it might put a foil in your plans when they inevitably catch a glimpse of this beautiful, beautiful wordsmith.
*please note, this was loosely based on/stolen directly from PETA’s adorable put Hug a Vegetarian photobooth thingie! Make your own!