vegansaurus!

N.Y. Dosas: Street Food For The Vegans

And now, a dispatch from Vegansaurus NYC!

So you really like Indian food, but you don’t want to give your money to places that also serve flesh. And those places that serve flesh aren’t all that good anyways because they use way too much grease and you hate having to specify no raita. And you really like street food, but there’s never really any vegan food.

So, what do do? Lucky for you: there is dedicated vegan Indian food AND it’s in a cart. So you can get some authentic New York City street food without the guilt because, well, N.Y. Dosas is honestly the best fucking food I have ever had in my entire life. The guy running it is a dedicated vegan out by the park six days a week, rain or shine, to provide everyone with some sweet-ass vegan dosas. He also has some lentil-based crepe for all of our gluten-free brethren and sistren. Plus, check out that awesome ‘stache! Clearly all of the hipsters just stole his facial hair aesthetic.

N.Y. Dosas has no website (it’s STREET, remember?!), but here are the details, should you find yourself in New York:

W. 4th Street at Sullivan Street, New York, NY 10014
Hours: Monday through Saturday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Closed Sunday.

Review: Basu’s Homestyle Indian Cuisine (IS THE BOMB!)

Basu’s graciously sent us some of their make-it-yourself Homestyle Indian Cuisine to check out, presumably because every vegan blog south of San Luis Obispo has already had the chance. This is probably because they are an adorable family startup company based in the L.A. area and distributing regionally, but I am still immediately resentful of Southern California having anything desirable or good because I am a cynical, humorless Northern California native. Anyway you can already buy Basu’s at the Whole Foods stores down there.  (What is up with Whole Foods in Southern California & Nevada having SUCH BETTER vegan selections than ours??)

As an Indian-food-loving single person (or, a not-single person who lives in a different apartment than her boyfriend and spends three nights a week over there so consequently grocery shops *less* than a single person), I already eat a lot of pre-prepared Indian food, in the form of takeout and vacuum-packs from Tasty Bite and the like. Because I sit down to depressing Trader Joe’s Punjab Choley for one and plain rice on a fairly regular basis, I feel entitled to the sense of totally unmitigated euphoria that comes flying out into the kitchen when you open a packet of Basu’s cheerily-labeled “Vindaloo Sauce with Basil - Vegan.”   Warning:this sauce smells amazing. While I was eating it at work the next day, my coworker (a real actual Indian person) was all, “That smells amazing!”

Now, it’s packaged as sauce alone, and you add your own vegetables and proteins (unless you’re just taking a bath in it—ain’t no shame, it smells amazing!) I thought, after an initial botched attempt at adding some Tofurky sausage (don’t do that) that this Vindaloo works best with baby red potatoes and firm tofu cut like paneer cubes (it does—do that instead!) Also, some cauliflower would probably be nice, but my neighborhood market was out of it.

First, I boiled the potatoes until soft, then drained them and cooled them a bit while I cut up the tofu. Then I melted some Earth Balance in a saute pan, and threw in generous amounts of powdered cumin and tarragon. I know tarragon isn’t very Indian, I just really like it. Then I threw in the tofu and (quartered) potatoes to stir fry until brown and crusty with delicious spices. When everything was nicely browned, I threw it in a pot with the Vindaloo sauce to simmer for about 15 minutes on low heat. At this point, my house smelled (you guessed it!) amazing.*

The Vindaloo dish was fast and easy, and makes for a comforting, nutritious and really delicious meal. But, the thing that really ele

vates Basu’s above the other DIY Indian foods is pairing the curry with Basu’s own Saffron Rice and Tamarind Chutney. The rice is unbelievably flavorful, in a way that would be difficult for me to replicate at home. It’s got a delightful buttery taste, offset by some kind of curried carrot (?) that really goes the extra mile in transforming your pathetic Ikea couch-and-coffee-table dining set into a charming neighborhood Indian restaurant. The chutney is dark and syrupy, and drizzled over the curry/rice combo, it’s just the perfect thing.

In sum, that was my totally savory experience with the Basu’s Homestyle Indian Food, a really good company and makers of the best DIY Indian meals.  If only I could go to my local Whole Foods and get more. Sad Face.

*I should make it clear as I overemphasize how amazing it SMELLS, that I do not mean to underemphasize how amazing it TASTES, which is AMAZING. Like, the tastiest thing to come out of my kitchen in a long time, vegan or non.

Kasa!

I don’t understand why it is so fucking hard for a restaurant to stay open late in San Francisco. If you’re out past 10 p.m. and you want something other than a slice of pizza or a burrito, you’re screwed. I think our own Maria puts it best when she says:

In particular, the Castro can be a nightmare for late-night dining. There are a lot of bars and a lot of clubs and they desperately need a sit-down where the clubbing ‘mos (and the rest of us) can get our late-night sustenance on. Yes, that is correct. I just typed, “late-night sustenance on”, and please steel yourself for more bad writing and gross generalizations in this review, FOLKS. I’m tired, I’m hungry and I just paid the IRS a couple thousand in taxes because they caught me being a leeetle loosey-goosey with my reported income. Hey! I didn’t know! I got confused! I apparently tried to deduct the same pair of donated pants 12 times? Well what do you want me to do? The max they would let me take was $10 and they were from Anthropologie and cost $140! Eff you, feds! You can take my hard earned cash to fund this horrible war and our dying nation but you cannot stop me from trying to get over. THAT is the American Dream, capital-A, capital-D, capital-FUCKED. Back to the review.

Sunday through Monday the Castro workout routine is Gold’s Gym but on the weekend, it’s the DANCE! To fuel all of this exercise, you need something nearby, adequately tasty and most importantly, LOW-CALORIE. And so begins the age of Kasa.

Kasa is a new-ish Indian-ish restaurant in the Castro that is open until 10 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and until 2 a.m. (!!!) on Friday and Saturday. At Kasa you can choose from a kati roll (made with their own roti bread, let them know before you order that you’re vegan so they don’t douse it in ghee) or a thali, a plate filled with all sorts of magical things like chutneys, dal, rice, and shiz like that. After you decide on the kati roll or the thali, you choose a dish or two to go on the plate or into the roll. There is always at least one vegan dish on the menu: Aloo Jeera, which is cumin-spiced potatoes. They have a rotating vegetable dish of the day which may or may not be vegan. Last time I went, it was a spicy eggplant dish that was vegan. The food is adequate, if not amazing. The real calling card here is that they’re open late in an area that’s desperate for late-night eateries.

And when you’re done, you can head back to bar-and-club-landia, filled up with pretty healthy food that you’ll burn off in the time it takes to spin a Lady Gaga remix (aprox 35 minutes). I love, love, love Lady Gaga. I also love, love, love the cheesy dance clubs in the Castro. They are bursting with the cutest boys ever who, like you, just want to move to the power of the latest Britney track. There is no ass-grabbing (unless it’s to forcibly move you from between them and some hella hot dude, don’t hate) and if there is any inappropriate grinding, it’s usually your fault. WHAT I’M A LIBERATED WOMAN IT GOES BOTH WAYS NOW.

And with that I present…

Reasons not to trust straight men:
1) John Grisham.
2) They will get you pregnant.
3) Hitler.
4) They lie.
5) They all have the ability to become horrible, hateful, power-hungry rapists in times of war/extreme duress/you didn’t cook their hamburger right I said medium rare, bitch!!!
6) Jim Carrey.

Reasons to trust (and love) gay men:
1) Oscar Wilde.
2) They will help raise your bastard child.
3) Hitler wasn’t gay.
4) They lie, but it’s funny and colorful and usually to make a story more interesting.
5) Rape is most likely consensual and a form of fantasy play!
6) Puppies = the gayest!!!

Great India!

Great India is hot damn delicious! It’s currently my first choice for Northern Indian food in San Francisco. This is because not only is it hot damn delicious, there are many vegan selections (try the Vegetable Sabzi and the Aloo Gobi! Both are exceptional!) and they don’t use ghee (butter) in any of the food! SCORE! The Aloo Paratha (most delectable wheat potato filled bread) was the best I’ve ever had, vegan or not. It’s pretty cheap too, $8.95 gets you one LARGE dish that includes rice or nan. Lots of places do not give you rice or nan with the dish, making you pay extra because they know us assholes will pay for it! But the glorious Great India does not play us like that! I love them! The delivery is slow as fuck so order about an hour and a half before you think you’re gonna be hungry. Bonus because they deliver to the entire city.

Eating in is an awesome experience. First, you gotta find the place. It’s in outer BFE on Geary at 25th Ave. Make sure to eat a lot because you will need the fuel to get the fuck out of the Richmond. Second, the lunch buffet is ONLY $6.45! Super cheap and almost everything is vegan! Woo! Third, the wait staff actually knows what the word vegan means and so there is never any worry about eating something that will make you and your stomach very sad. Fourth, if you eat here once, they will remember you forever. Especially if you’re a girl. Ladies, if you’re ever feeling unattractive, I suggest you get yourself to Great India where you will be treated as the twin sister of Catherine Deneuve! And I’m talking her Belle Du Juor days! Although, current day Catherine Deneuve is still about 100 times hotter than most of the uglies you see showing their ugly mugs in public. For shame, uglies. Anyway, they will lavish you with compliments, free drinks and free snacks and generally do everything short of going downtown. It’s delightful. Once, I ate here with my friend, Mark. When Mark went to go get fifths from the buffet, one of the guys asked me if he was my boyfriend and told me that if he ever mistreated me that they would take him out. Listen, Mark is The Super Gay. But he does mistreat me. Conflict. So I told the guy that I would let him know and then I WARNED MARK THAT HE BETTER TREAT ME RIGHT OR THE INDIAN MAFIA WOULD BE ON HIS ASS.

Man, that was a great day.

(The first photo was found on google image searching “great india”. Great India (the restaurant) didn’t have many pictures on their website so this will have to do. It’s pretty nice, I think.)

Udupi Palace

The first time I went to Udupi Palace, we were a group of eight, and our bill for eight dosas, four (or five) appetizers, and six (or seven) beers was something like $120. That is (hang on, I have to work out the math) $15 per person, for that much food! Incredible. I guess their overhead is lower because they are a vegetarian establishment and do not have to pay for things like the bodies of murdered lambs, which tend to cost more than vegetables and grains. Their dosas are enormous, crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and the different fillings are delicious. They have a large selection of vegan tidbits, but look carefully for yogurt sauce, it is a wily foe. The plain coconut chutney is scrumptious, though not very adventurous for the spicy-minded among us. You get two other, spicier chutneys for dipping, so worry not.

My first excursion to Udupi was on a Tuesday night during its first month of business, and by 8 the place was packed. At that point they had a few kinks to work out with service; that said, they certainly were generous with the water, which is very smart & considerate, especially of weaklings like me who can’t handle even moderately spicy food.

I had the Udupi special spring dosa, which came with the standard Mysore Masala filling plus spring vegetables ($7.95). It was delicious, and way too much for me to finish at one meal. One of my dining companions got the spinach masala dosa, which made me want to order next time, it was so good. The fried idli and sambar vada were really, really tasty as well.

My gentleman friend and I stopped in for an early dinner last Sunday, four months after my first trip (eating in is saving money!), and we split a Mysore Masala dosa and an idli, which was plenty of food to carry us through until bedtime. It’s still delicious, and your water glass never stays empty.

In sum, Udupi Palace’s menu is quite superior to its neighbor Dosa’s, and significantly less expensive as well. It is the best South Indian food I have had in the city, and I will definitely eat there again. And again and again. Nuts to you, Dosa, with your overpriced menu and your pushy waitstaff and your upper-class pretensions. Udupi serves the dosa of the overprivileged middle class, and we will have our meal for $3 cheaper, and we will use that $3 to buy an expensive gourmet coffee, which will make us feel guilty for wasting money we could have saved by drinking coffee at home, so when we arrive at our extremely overpriced apartments we can afford because of our low-level white-collar jobs, we will use our computers to donate money to causes like the Yes on 2 campaign because by god we are not overprivileged jerks, we appreciate our ability to buy Indian street food at 500 times its price in India, and we show it by giving some of our wardrobe money to charity! DAMN IT!

Ananda Fuara!

Ananda Fuara is run by a cult! Who cares? They are not creepy. They are a peaceful cult comprised of sweet folks who love to weight lift and eat healthy, delicious vegetarian food. Frankly, I know more than one fat ass who might benefit from such a life style. And yes, I’m talking about me. And also you. Sir Fatty Faton of Fattinshire.

Pet peeve #52: When meat eaters complain about vegetarians and vegans eating fake meat. It’s like, MORONS, we are not vegetarian or vegan because we don’t like the taste of meat, we are vegetarian or vegan because we don’t want to EAT DEAD ANIMALS. Fucking figure it out. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist. Or even a person of average intelligence. My friend’s autistic brother who only communicates through a keyboard gets it. I just don’t understand WHY YOU DON’T?!?!

That being said, I rarely eat fake meat products here. I just wanted to bitch because it’s what Lauras do best. Actually, that and sex. Ask your dad. LAURA!

The daily rotating curries, soups (always Dal and one other, usually vegan) and salads (try the, Infinite Blue, vegan. It’s hot rice stir-fry over a bed of greens and I know that sounds kinda like the funk but trust. There are some days when only hot rice salad will make you want to get out of bed. I call those days, Tuesdays.) are what Ananda Fuara does best and I’ve never once been disappointed. The vegan baked goods are always amazing…some of the best I’ve ever had. Make sure to check the glass case and get several of each to go. The peanut butter krinkle is basically cornflakes dipped in choco-peanut butter mixture and then set out to dry. You can either eat it or use it to exfoliate. Either way, divine.

I would be a total jerky asshole not to mention the most magical thing that is sometimes on the menu, the special of VEGAN BEEF STROGANOFF. OH HOLY HELL. This shit is off the HEEZY! I had the meat eaters at my table begging for release from its jaws of deliciousness. If you are in San Francisco tomorrow, call ahead to see if it’s the special and if it is, don’t make the biggest mistake of your life and not go. I don’t care if you got pregnant at 13 and gave the baby to Appalachian mountain people to raise and now her name is Darlene and she has three teeth and uses them to skin raccoons for eatin’! (YOUR VERY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD SKINS RACCOONS WITH HER TEETH! SORRY, TEEF!). Missing out on this beef stroganoff is worse. It is THE WORST.

In closing, I would like to issue a public challenge to the peaceful, adorable and motivational cult leader, Sri Chinmoy. This man is a competitive heavy lifter and has set many world records. This is a man who has lifted elephants, Great Pumpkins and platforms filled with fat people INTO THE AIR. I would like to challenge him to lift me above his head with one hand and then to throw me into the air so that I might complete the Triple Lindy (yes, the same one the late, great Rodney Dangerfield made famous in the classic, Back to School) and land on a gigantic trampoline made specifically for this purpose. Once I land on the trampoline, I will swan dive into a gigantic cake of the flavor and shape of my choosing. This will take place on top of the Eiffel Tower on May 25th, 2009. I eagerly await the response from Chinmoy’s camp. This offer will self destruct in 24 hours.

Zante Pizza!

So I talked about Panhandle Pizza yesterday which is more of a traditional itsanice pizzzapie (that’s Italian for, “nice pizza pie”) and today, we are going to cross the globe (actually, we’re going vertical across the globe, I think. I’m no linguist.) to EXOTIC and MYSTERIOUS India, land of Bollywood and Mohinder. Zante’s Indian Restaurant and Pizzeria is fucking great. They incorporate two of my favorite foods, pizza and Indian food into one mega-food, THE INDIAN PIZZA. It’s basically Indian food on a regular pizza crust (it’s not naan, as some people suggest, it’s actual thin-crust pizza. They also make “isanice pizzzapie” but why fuck with that nonsense when you can get delicious INDIAN PIZZA?!). Save yourself the trouble of thinking and order “The Best Indian Pizza, Vegan,” which comes topped with spinach, eggplant, cauliflower, ginger, garlic, green onions and cilantro. It’s magical. Even if that doesn’t sound good to you, it will taste good to you. You can also order other kinds of indian food if you’re feeling unadventurous and lame. The samosas are pretty good.

You can eat in or call in an order for delivery OR you can order online at their site (they deliver ANYWHERE in the city!) but please note, the delivery will most likely take twice as long as they quote. It’s because they’re on Indian time. WHAT? AM I NOT RIGHT? IN ADDITION TO BEING A HUGE RACIST? Whatever, I can say that because I did it with an Indian dude once so I think that makes me an expert on all things Indian, OKAY? Also, one of my best friends is Indian. Or Mexican. Actually, I’m not sure. Her name is Anna but she’s an engineer—VERY CONFUSING. And she’s cheap and drives an El Camino. I mean, I honestly don’t know.

I could do this all night.