vegansaurus!

03/21/2012

NYT has a really cute video about nutria in Washington state! They won’t let me embed it though because they are total jerks but click through and you can watch it. 
This lil’ guy is so cute! All the fur stuff is a downer but it’s historical background—a lot of historical background is a downer. #truth

NYT has a really cute video about nutria in Washington state! They won’t let me embed it though because they are total jerks but click through and you can watch it. 

This lil’ guy is so cute! All the fur stuff is a downer but it’s historical background—a lot of historical background is a downer. #truth

01/31/2011

New word alert: Invasivores! Definition: eating our mistakes  »

Ok, I guess invasivores can be a word. I saw it on planetgreen.discovery.com yesterday and thought we should add it to the list. Planet Green doesn’t really define it but it’s in the title of their post about people eating lionfish as a way to control the population of that wacky invasive species of fish. The idea of eating this fish FREAKS ME THE FRACK OUT. Like, more than eating regular fish. Seriously, VOM.

Can I just quote Meave in the link-o-rama on lionfish and how it came to be an affliction?:

Ooh, the new gourmet food is lionfish, because it’s a super-destructive invasive species, wreaking havoc all over the Gulf of Mexico, into the Caribbean, and moving down into South American waters, and “humans are the only predator that can wipe it out.” But how did the lionfish, a native of the western Pacific Ocean, get to the other side of the world? Oh, well, see, people in South Florida who kept them in fishtanks in the ’80s started dumping the fish in the ocean! The wrong ocean! Whoops! And the lionfish figured out how to thrive, and now it’s fucking shit up for coral reefs all over the place. SO LET’S EAT THEM UP TO RECTIFY OUR MISTAKES. Humanity at its best.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do about invasive species. Humans are kind of an invasive species, aren’t we? Here’s the definition from invasivespecies.org:

An “invasive species” is defined as a species that is
1) non-native (or alien) to the ecosystem under consideration and
2) whose introduction causes or is likely to cause economic or environmental harm or harm to human health. (Executive Order 13112).

Invasive species can be plants, animals, and other organisms (e.g., microbes). Human actions are the primary means of invasive species introductions.

I subscribe to the African-origin of humans so we’re generally non-native and our introduction to every single part of the world has definitely caused environmental harm; survey says: invasive species! I propose that invasivores could be most effective if they ate people—am I right?! From now on, this can be the official definition!:

Invasivores:
  1. People that eat invasive species
  2. Cannibals

[Photo by Jens Petersen]

10/08/2010

Tales of cruelty, stupidity, insanity, creativity, and love: it’s this week’s link-o-rama!  »


Meet Lady Baa Baa of Pasado’s Safe Haven in Seattle, Wash. Her dress is made of kale!

Events of today!
Laura wrote a separate post all about this weekend! Go read it if you haven’t already!

Events of the future!
Mission Pie is holding its fourth annual Pie Contest
on Sunday, Oct. 17! To enter, email them with your name, phone number, and intended pie by 5 p.m. on Friday, Oct. 15—contest is limited to the first 30 applicants so vegan bakers, get going!
This will be good practice for the next East Bay Vegan Bakesale! It’s happening on Saturday, Oct. 30 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., in front of Issues (20 Glen Ave. at Piedmont) in Oakland. All proceeds will benefit Mickaboo Companion Bird Rescue and the East Bay Children’s Book Project. Want to volunteer (of course you do!)? Email the organizers!

And now, issues about which to giggle and rage
When he’s away from home, he misses “Proper food like you get in a civilised city,” says Guardian food writer Tim Hayward about eating in foreign countries compared to eating in London. It always throws you when a liberal, lefty paper employs a chauvinist, right? Especially a totally oblivious culinary chauvinist who loves London’s native sushi, “Mexican street food,” and Vietnamese soup best. Stupid people at home include Alliance For Truth, who are staunchly against Missouri’s Prop. B, a.k.a. the Puppy Mill Cruelty Prevention Act, which would require commercial dog-breeding facilities—30 percent of the country’s puppy mills are located in Missouri—to provide “sufficient food and water” and “adequate rest between breeding cycles” for their slave-animals. AFT hates it because, um, it’s sponsored by HSUS? Aw, good old Charlie the cigarette-smoking chimpanzee died this week! He lived in the Mangaung Zoo in Bloemfontein, South Africa, and “started smoking when some visitors…threw him lit cigarettes.” According to Reuters, zookeepers only put an end to the smoking “when videos of him puffing away circulated globally a few years ago,” which was presumably really embarrassing. Sgt. Nevis the sea lion will undergo “the first-ever reconstructive surgery on a sea lion” today, to repair wounds he suffered after some soulless demon shot him multiple times in the face last year. Then the Sgt. gets to go home to—Sea Lion Cove at Six Flags Marine World!! SUPER! Oh and guys, don’t worry about “Asian carp” destroying the Great Lakes; "European mussels" have already invaded!

The egg recall continues to have consequences, as it should. The Democratic challenger in the Iowa state Agriculture secretary race is running on a big reform campaign, particularly making “vaccination programs and regular inspections for salmonella…mandatory,” and requiring “egg producers to have a veterinarian on staff,” rules like Maine already has. The Cornucopia Institute recently published a report called Scrambled Eggs, which highlights “national and local producers that are supplying ethically produced organic eggs and are worthy of consumer support,” versus factory farm egg production. Vegetarian and omnivorous pals, this is for you! In Ohio, the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals overruled the state’s weird law prohibiting distinction on product labels between milk from cows given rbST injections and cows not given the hormone. Because, you know, there are several differences. How creepy.


This Michelle Obama bag is made of 95 percent manmade materials, and also extremely adorable! Oh I am desirous of it. [via Princess Sparkle Pony]

In New York City, the charming mayor wants to put “beverages with more than 10 calories per 8 ounces”—excluding 100 percent fruit juices, “milk products, and milk substitutes”—on the list of Food Stamps No-Buys. Full-sugar soda: On the same evil level as booze, now! In L.A., the mayor’s Food Policy Task Force is working to get more locally grown produce sold in areas with more people on food-stamp programs, to support the economy twice over and increase access to healthier foods in nutritional dead zones. Jonathan Blaustein, an artist in northern New Mexico, has a project called "The Value of a Dollar," in which he photographed “food items as they were sold (minus packaging), without styling, retouching, or artificial lighting.  Each image represents a dollar’s worth of food purchased from various markets in New Mexico.” It’s pretty great. Maybe your problem, food-stampers, is that you’re not getting together for 36-hour multifamily dinner parties, you lazy poors.

It’s not like the federal government gives a fuck about you, anyway; McDonald’s just got a waiver “to maintain even minimal coverage far below the new [health care legislation]’s standards,” and we learned that threatening to strip 30,000 employees of all health care totally works. And won’t it be great when the FDA lets AquaBounty sell that AquAdvantage salmon without even telling consumers that it is the magical perfect salmon? Too bad it’s not in the least perfect. Bright spot: the Department of Homeland Security is helping solve the mysterious horror of colony collapse. That’s right, the same department with employees who pat you down at the airport is working with a “Bee Alert team” on this massive project that’s so far been pretty successful.

At-home activism: C.A.S. asks that you send a polite email to authorities in the United Arab Emirates asking them please not to introduce bullfighting in the U.A.E. C.A.S. has heard nothing directly from the U.A.E., only reports from French and Spanish media sources, but just in case, maybe email. Farm Sanctuary asks that you sign a petition politely asking President Obama that the two traditionally “pardoned” Thanksgiving turkeys be sent to Farm Sanctuary this year.

Ending on a happier note: Our pals at CSA Delivery are back to posting! Maybe irregularly, but something’s better than nothing! They’ve got two vegetarian recipes that are super-easily veganizable, and we are so happy to see them, hooray!

09/30/2010

Canadian rabbit insanity part II: EXODUS OF THE BUNS  »

Remember four months ago, when the internet went a little nuts for the story of the “feral” rabbits living on basically every grassy space on the University of Victoria campus in British Columbia, Canada? Your Vegansaurus was skeptical about applying that “feral” adjective because of the the rabbits’ behavior in the videos—they were so calm around people! Which is shockingly atypical wild rabbit behavior! Frankly it is sometimes shockingly atypical companion rabbit behavior, for the more nervous of our bunny pals. It made us curious about the origins of these INVASIVE RABBIT HORDES, and how they had come to be, within a few generations, so remarkably nonchalant surrounded by loud, stompy human beings all the time.


Thanks to Rebecca Dube from the Globe and Mail, we finally have an answer: people have been dumping their rabbits on the campus. About 1,600 bunnies live at UVC right now, and while the authorities have considered the “feral” rabbit population a Big Problem for about 20 years, apparently it’s finally big enough for them to consider it a Big Actionable Problem.

What gave us serious pause (zing) was what action the authorities would take. This story only garnered international media attention when the University made its problems with the bunnies public; and once the internet got to giggle at the idea of rabbits “taking over” humans’ space, the internet—i.e., the rest of the world—stopped paying attention. The Rabbit Hordes were still Wreaking Havoc, though, and British Columbia still intended to Do Something about them.

The initial plan was to kill them. Surprise! People love to kill Problem Animals. Thank goodness there are other, good people who don’t! Rabbit activists and Canada Green Party members helped arrange transfer of 1,000 members of the Rabbit Hordes to the Wild Rose Rescue Ranch in Whitehouse, Tex. Can you believe it? The U.S. did Canada a solid! It’s a beautiful thing. They’re able to move this many bunnies—up to 96 at a time—internationally with a permit from The Responsible Animal Care Society, a Canadian nonprofit group that is currently trying to raise money for the transport of all 1,000 rabbits.

If you have any spare change, please please please donate to the bunny transport fund! Wild Rose Rescue has so much space for them to run and play, and of course they’re all being fixed first, so there won’t be another Rabbit Horde explosion. They take donations through Paypal, so all us non-Canadians can give our foreign money worry-free.

[photograph of veterinarian Joseph Martinez by Steve Bosch, Vancouver Sun]

Now, what about the remaining 600 rabbits? That’s also in progress. It appears the plan is to spay or neuter all of those rabbits as well (of course!), and move about 400 of them to “safe havens” elsewhere in British Columbia. According to the university’s “long-term rabbit management plan,” after all the bunnies have been trapped and sterilized, 200 may continue to live on campus.

We really admire the work all the rabbit activists did on behalf of the Rabbit Hordes. Making such complicated arrangements clearly wasn’t easy, and they still have lots to do. The bunnies never meant to cause trouble; they never should have been living on the University of Victoria campus, and these are good people saving the victims of other people’s selfish mistakes. Again, if you can, give a little to help get the bunnies down to Texas. Do your bit to save the Rabbit Hordes.

08/20/2010

We may be crazy, but at least we’re not racist creeps! It’s this week’s link-o-rama!   »

Better Know a Lobby - American Meat Institute

Stephen Colbert better knows a meat lobbyist, just for us! [can’t see the video? watch in on Vegansaurus.com!]

Your vegany events!
The very first Peninsula Vegan Bakesale happens tomorrow, Saturday Aug. 21 from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.! It’s at the EVO store, at 159 South B St. in San Mateo, and will benefit the Coalition on Homelessness San Francisco and Pets in Need. And the next time some jerk asks you why you care so much about animals when there are so many people suffering, you can just show them this awesome flyer and walk away like the smuggest bastard in the world.

Also tomorrow from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. the House Rabbit Society is having its monthly rabbit adoption event at George in Berkeley! You can bring your rabbit/s in for a nail trim and/or to make new friends, and anyone interested in learning more about buns is welcome to stop by. George is located at 1824 Fourth Street. Remember you can preview the adoptable rabbits, and if there’s one (or more) you really want to see, email Anne and she’ll do her best to ensure s/he shows up tomorrow.

Finally, Farm Sanctuary is hosting a California Twilight Tour from 6 to 9:30 p.m. on Saturday at the shelter in Orland. Tickets vost $25 for adults and $15 for children under under 13; the Sanctuary will provide vegan snacks, including wine and beer, and live music. To register, call 607-583-2225 ext. 221, or do it online.

Wildcare asks that all California voters please send a message to the state Senate asking that those jerks pass AB 234, which would “require booms around fueling vessels in California’s open waters.”

Animal Place asks that Californians please email State Fair Manager Norbert Bartosik and politely but firmly ask him to eliminate the live birth exhibits at State Fair, as they are what some might call revolting and barbaric.

Tom Scocca reports that 100 Canada geese have returned to Prospect Park, after a flock of 400 were murdered last month. Kinship Circle asks that you please email a whole bunch of responsible parties in New York and New Jersey to ask that they refrain from murdering any more of the estimated 250,000 geese presently living in New York state, despite state biologists’ estimations that the state can hold no more than 85,000 geese.

Invisible octopus—it’s AMAZING!
[can’t see the video? watch in on Vegansaurus.com!]

Vegany weekend reading!
Let’s begin with local news! This week, some complete assholes fellow humans from the Aquarium of the Bay caught a big sevengill shark. Then Demian Bulwa wrote an article about it, full of awful puns. Sevengills live in open ocean; this one will be kept in a 350,000 gallon tank. Even the Chronicle commentariat are united in rage. In the lily pond in Golden Gate Park, evil AFRICAN clawed frogs have INVADED and are slowly INFILTRATING ecosystems as far as Sacramento and BEYOND. Some citizens want to emulate Australia’s cane toad VIGILANTES, just cold murdering AFRICAN clawed frogs like they were MILITARY INVADERS, because officials won’t listen to their demands to EUTHANIZE the KILLER AFRICAN MENACE. Haighteration reminds residents that if you are having, um, “trouble” with the gang of feral cats running that block in neighborhood (Catsterdam? no?), please get a free trap from the SF SPCA and do your part. There’s a new head of the Vicious and Dangerous Animal Unit at the SFPD—specifically, one officer in charge of animal court trials, and another in charge of investigations—in an effort to “modernize the unit.”

Gena of Choosing Raw wrote a really awesome post about the Target Bronx Community Garden, with a ton of pretty pictures (side note: I am stealing Duane to raise as my own. LOOK AT THAT FACE it is irresistable). Some doctors are using “prescription coupons” to give their patients—most often poorer people—funds to buy produce through farmers’ market nutrition programs. Some of it is anti-obesity stuff, which your Vegansaurus despises on principle, but we fully support everyone getting equal access to delicious fruit and vegetables. The tomato: “cold and moist,” reminiscent of a lady’s special area, the freakiest thing to come from the Americas in the 17th century—how did those dumb white people figure out that it was delicious?

That’s enough smiling. This week, during a corrida in Spain that “consists of getting as close as possible to the bull, without getting hurt” but not actually murdering the animal, the bull had enough of the taunting spectators and leapt into the stands, injuring 40 people (link includes video). All the people living around Lake Tahoe are having trouble with a tricksy bear they call “Bubba,” who outwits dogs and has proven immune to bullets. He even steals from church! Why can’t bears just stay in the forest area people haven’t cut down for giant vacation homes yet? When you eat church peanut butter, you make the baby Jesus cry, Bubba. Their palates bored by fried strips of dead pig, “foodies” now turn to beef, lamb, and veal “bacon” to free themselves from their culinary torpor. Your Vegansaurus wonders if do-it-yourself animal slaughter isn’t gaining popularity—not that we buy that, entirely—because of omnivores’ need to sate their bloodlust, rather than the depression 2.0, self-sustaining bullshit they tell themselves is the reason they’re so happy to hack into bunny’s head. If we’re going to eat animals, no one is better than the other. You may continue eating dog, Chinese people—white dude, out.

OK some good news: they released the first oiled turtles back into the Gulf of Mexico yesterday! Of course the article neglects to say where the turtles were released, how directly that area of the Gulf has been affected by the oil spill, and whether they expect the turtles to survive, considering just how fucked up the Gulf is. But hey! Rescued endangered sea turtles! Maybe buy a wallet made of recycled newspapers and plastic bags from Holstee—Ecouterre reports that the wallets provide “fair-wage employment, healthcare, and education for the people who craft them.” Get out of town, Holstee.

FINALLY: Look, Grub Street SF got on board the Abby train! It’s about time, pals.

07/09/2010

O, link-o-rama! O, link-o-rama! Animaux, activités, de Friday jusqu’à Monday, il y a tout ce que vous voulez dans le link-o-rama!  »


We’re all ’60s-crazy over here, maybe you can tell? Mad Men is nigh (!!!) and we’ve got the silliest songs stuck in our heads, and here comes this amazing Airstream camper for your little dog to perfect our little fantasies. [Straight Line Designs via Pawesome]

Que faites-vous ce weekend?
Tonight is Vegan Happy Hour and potluck, hosted by Mr. Vegansaur Jordan at the Hemlock Tavern from 6 to 9. Be there, or have less fun in your life.

On Sunday afternoon, take a tour of the trees in and around Dolores Park with Chris of Mr. Prune Tree Care. The tour will be in English and Spanish, and run about two hours. Meet at the J stop at Church and 18th Streets at 11 a.m. [thanks for the tip, Mission Mission!]

Hands-On Gourmet is hosting an All-American BBQ workshop on Monday, July 12 to teach you how to make the best animal-free, gluten-free barbecue meal ever. Dishes will include burger buns, patties, potato salad, strawberry shortcake, and ice cream! Gluten-free beer will be available for tasting—attendees must be 12 or older. The workshop runs from 6 to 9 p.m. at the H.O.G. Kitchen at 2325 3rd St., No. 330; tickets cost $75. Please contact Joshua with any questions.

Wholesome Bakery, in conjunction with Ritual Coffee, will lead cookie and cupcake workshops at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts (701 Mission St. at 3rd Street) as part of this summer’s Taste! program. There’s a coffee workshop (duh), too, and an art project called The Ministry of Approximate Travel by local artist Jenny Odell. Every Thursday in July in the Grand Lobby from 6 to 8 p.m. I’d say visit the YBCA’s website for more information, but as of today they actually have no information about it, so.

Voudriez-vous quelque chose à lire?


Anti-bullfighting activists protest in San Fermín, Spain. If you read Spanish, this article might prove interesting. [photo via AnimaNaturalis]

People treat animals really poorly, did you know? In Dublin (Calif., not Ireland), some assholes stole a penguin from the zoo, then abandoned her on a fucking sidewalk. HILARIOUS PRANK, guys! Ooh, the new gourmet food is lionfish, because it’s a super-destructive invasive species, wreaking havoc all over the Gulf of Mexico, into the Caribbean, and moving down into South American waters, and “humans are the only predator that can wipe it out.” But how did the lionfish, a native of the western Pacific Ocean, get to the other side of the world? Oh, well, see, people in South Florida who kept them in fishtanks in the ’80s started dumping the fish in the ocean! The wrong ocean! Whoops! And the lionfish figured out how to thrive, and now it’s fucking shit up for coral reefs all over the place. SO LET’S EAT THEM UP TO RECTIFY OUR MISTAKES. Humanity at its best.

Or no, humanity is at its best when it keeps monkeys for research, and the monkeys, because they’re miserable in captivity and hate being experimented on, figure out a genius method of escape, but don’t want to leave all their monkey pals behind, so are “lured back into captivity by scientists armed with peanuts.” I am so proud to be a human right now! BACK BEHIND THE ELECTRIC FENCE, WE MUST CONDUCT MORE TERRIFYING EXPERIMENTS ON YOU, PRIMATE.

People are also totally nasty. KFC makes its buckets from trees in North Carolina’s Green Swamp, which for some reason (money) isn’t protected land, but should be, except (money) KFC is clear-cutting it for fucking buckets. Thanks, government! And thanks, Western “junk food”—you know, your franchises of animal-products-in-everything, plus corn syrup—for giving 15 percent of men and 16 percent of women in Southeast Asia type 2 diabetes! Capitalism, you guys, it’s the best. Free market forever. In San Francisco you won’t be able to buy full-sugar sodas or waters in vending machines on city property anymore, but milk—both dairy and non-dairy!!—will be available. Calories are not all the same, you know—better to get some from protein and fat in soy milk than all from HFCS in a soda, yes? YES.

Deep Roots Animal Sanctuary needs your help to build a coop for their chicken, Mabel, and the chickens they hope to rescue in the future! The coop will be environmentally friendly, Mabel will have friends, and Deep Roots can save more birds. Birds are amazing, did you know? Robins can actually see magnetic fields, which helps them orient themselves. [link via The Telling Compulsion].

Kevin the kestrel is an amazing patient of St. Tiggywinkles [sic] wildlife hospital in Buckinghamshire, England! Someone found him on the ground with a broken leg, and the St. Tiggywinkles staff set it with “a hypodermic needle as a pin, some thin pieces of wire and dental cement.” We wish you a quick and happy recovery, Kevin!

So the president is all, Hey you congressjerks should pass the Food Safety and Modernization Act, it is Srs Bsns. And farmers are getting up on the Facebooks and Twitters, all, We’re safe and good and not harmful of the cows etc., don’t listen to Mercy for Animals, those guys are mean and biased. And I say, I am mean and biased, NO SYMPATHY.

Let’s look at restaurant reviews in the Chronicle! This week, Michael Bauer takes in the “modern neighborhood feel” of Encuentro, and what do you know, his take is very similar to our own Brianna’s! To wit: pretty all right, but could use some improvements. Lucky Oakland with its new restaurants. Lucky SFO, next, getting fancy-pants food from Napa Farms Market in Terminal 2 when it opens in March 2011.

Have you read about the Marines who rescued kittens in Afghanistan? I suppose it means people aren’t 100 percent terrible 100 percent of the time, and it’s nice to see some small acts of kindness in a world of enormous cruelty. Right? Sure.

05/10/2010

04/23/2010

Killing whales, saving sharks, chickens chickens chickens and MORE in this week’s link-o-rama  »

Hello best friends! This deer comes to visit this cat every morning to cuddle and play! UGH interspecies love is the sweetest best. [Thanks to reader Dolly for the photo!]

Vegan-type events!
Don’t forget about the vegan bakesale for bone marrow tomorrow! It’s scheduled from 1 to 4 p.m. in Dolores Park; go be a good person and buy something. You’ll be outdoors anyway, the weather’s fantastic.

Do you have cable? If so, you should watch the Humane Society’s Genesis Awards this weekend! They’ll air on Animal Planet twice: tomorrow, Saturday Apr. 24 at noon, and on Sunday Apr. 25 at 1 p.m. (PDT).

Harvest Home Sanctuary will host its very first Poultry Boot Camp to teach you all about “poultry health, nutrition, and rescue opportunities.” The event happens at the Sanctuary on Saturday, May 8 from 1 to 4 p.m. and costs $25, which includes materials, snacks, and a tour. RSVP by May 1.

Let’s freak out!!! Jeremy Fox is doing a week of vegetarian—and vegan-friendly—tasting menus at some nasty meat-tastic restaurant called Animal in Los Angeles next month, VEGANSAURUS ROAD TRIP!!! The dates are May 17 through 23, and it’ll cost $70 per person to eat, but holy mother how can it possibly not be worth it?

Miscellaneous items of varying importance!
Everyone’s going nuts for Social Kitchen and Brewery—Eater SF has a tour and a menu preview, and Beer & Nosh has an interview with Brewmaster Rich Higgins. As you know, the menu should be composed of 1/3 vegan and 1/3 vegetarian items, and our Sunset correspondent Megan Allison will be on the scene as frequently as possible with the report.

Don’t like beer? Drink some tequila! Now you can get super-fantastic, super-fancy, super-local tequila, WOO and another WOO because tequila on a gorgeous spring day in the Bay Area are two of my favorite things possibly ever. And no I am not going to flash you, jerk.

Instead let’s serve a delicious vegan supper, with these recipes from the Kitchn! I swear they are doing these articles just to get on our good side. Whatever their nefarious plan is, it’s working, because here is another link, hello.

Despite agreements with food banks and the Good Samaritan Food Donation Act of 1996, supermarkets still waste literal tons of perishable food.

Let’s go to the farmers market instead! Apparently there are super-awesome ones not only in our beloved San Francisco, but in Madison, Wisc.; Little Rock, Ark.; Lincoln, Neb.; and Des Moines, Iowa. Who knew—outside of the residents of those cities, obviously?

The always-genius Bay Area Bites presents a totally relevant, not-at-all obvious list of ways to “green” our kitchens.

The International Whaling Commission is all, Hey Japan, let’s not kill so many whales! And Japan is all, OK we’ll kill fewer whales but we’re not going to stop killing the endangered species, so fuck off!

Hawaii state Senator Clayton Hee, however, will not see this same bullshit happen with sharks: he is working to make possession of shark fins a misdemeanor in Hawaii.

Guys, guys, get this: the civet is a smallish mammal who lives in Indonesia, eats coffee berries, and poops out the beans that have been fermented through its digestive system and will make reportedly the tastiest—or at least, the priciest—coffee, like, ever. So instead of following civets around and picking up their droppings to find the beans, people are—you’ll never guess—catching them, caging them, and feeding them beans! God, isn’t capitalism the fucking best?

Homeless dogs in Moscow keep warm by sleeping on the subway, just like homeless people. Please pass the tissues, I am going to cry my damn eyes out. And no I don’t know why English Russia tagged this article as “Funny.” [photo from English Russia]

And while we’re sobbing, maybe it’s time to look at this World Press Photo 2010 Award-winning photo series by Tommaso Ausili called “The Slaughterhouse,” which for the sensitive among us (read: me) could be too much to actually really look at. But you are brave and bold, do please check them out.

Things that make dudes gay: soy; hormones in chicken. But what if you can buy KFC to find the cure for breast cancer! Even the Double fucking Down, you guys! Fifty entire cents from every pink bucket of “chicken” parts sold will go to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Oh no, but fried chicken and fish increases your cancer risk, just like eating meat from basically any mammal at all? Well, shit.

Hilariously, a beef-industry-funded survey “of American beef eaters” found that cattle ranchers and farmers have “the third greenest profession” in the U.S.! Of course they’re environmentalists—they commute to work on horses! Har har har.

Significantly less disgusting, and in fact quite wonderful: Healthy Happy Life’s slideshow of amazing vegan desserts in New York City.

The geniuses at the Idaho Department of Fish and Game have decided that migratory pelicans are ruining everything—i.e., eating all the native and artificially stocked trout that people want to fish—and because the Feds won’t allow them to shoot the birds, they are going to release non-native badgers and skunks into the area to deal with the problem “naturally.” Not everyone agrees that it’s the pelicans causing the decline in the trout population, and letting non-native species out into the wild hasn’t always (ever?) gone well in the past, but fuck it, people want to fish for their motherfucking trout.

Whoops, pescatarians! Watch out for that ahi tuna from Hawaii, it’s full of salmonella! Better stick to a delicious lion and antelope burger from Sacramento. God knows what kind of “lion” it is or how the proprietors can say it’s from the U.S., but hey, this “article” is 50 percent cut-and-pasted quotes from Facebook, so who knows anything? And anyway exotic is the new cute-n-cuddly, right? 

Because we’re Vegansaurus, we’re obviously not down with congressional hopeful Sue “crazypants” Lowden’s idea to barter chickens for healthcare. If we weren’t capitalists—do note the subjunctive case there—we might be into the idea of trading vegetables, or vegan suppers, for something like ophthalmologic care (someone needs a new pair of glasses) (hint: me!) or a motherboard for a MacBook. Steve Jobs, the Apple cafeteria cannot serve all your gustatory needs, I know it. Regardless, we do like the disco remix of Crazypants Lowden’s proposal, mostly because of the happy (?) dancing chicken. [if you can’t see the video, click through to vegansaurus.com!]

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