Appalled Jamie Oliver is appalled because these students at a West Virginia public school don’t know a tomato from a potato (literally). Thank god for his new TV program, Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, in which he’ll teach us lardy American barbarians about beets and greens and not stuffing our faces with frenchy fries 24/7.

Of course Vegansaurs have been on top of this for ages—remember the Healthy School Lunches program?—but as none of us has a proto-mullet, a foreign accent, or an array of best-selling cookbooks, ABC has yet to offer us a “Vegansaurus in Your Kitchen” (or whatever) show.

I promise it’d be better than fully 50 percent of the “original” programming on TV today, plus EDUCATIONAL! But whatever, ABC, go with Jamie Oliver, child-humiliator. Your choice.

(thanks, Grub Street San Francisco!)

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