And to think I used to idolize Steven Seagal!  »

When I first moved to the Bay Area, my therapist suggested I participate in an organized activity in order to “make friends,” whatever that means. I joined an aikido dojo and became intrigued by one of the most famous practitioners of this martial art: Steven Seagal. Dude was the first foreigner in Japan to operate an aikido dojo, and he’s a seventh dan, which means he’s basically indestructible. He provided further evidence of this in his acting career, movies such as Hard to Kill (obviously) and Under Siege. I decided during those heady aikido days that Seagal was a badass.

HOWEVER, Steven and I are now beefin’ due to his reality TV show Steven Seagal: Lawman, during the filming of which his team raided a farm on the grounds that the birds there were being raised for cockfighting. Cockfighting is terrible, but during the raid Seagal and his “team” allegedly killed more than 100 of the roosters living there, plus a puppy.

This behavior seems extra-odd in light of Seagal’s pro-animal-rights stance and the release of The Patriot (straight to DVD!). But Seagal and friends say the 11-month-old puppy, companion to the farm owner’s children, is lie invented to attract publicity and increase the damages in the impending lawsuit.

Let it be noted that toupee-wearing ham and terrifying racist teabagger Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Ariz. signed off on this. This is the guy famous for forcing prison inmates to eat spoiled food and live in tents during extreme Phoenix temperatures. He also thought “volunteer chain gangs” were a good idea. Naturally, he OKed sending armored vehicles, dozens of officers, and Steven Seagal ON A GODDAMNED TANK to raid an unarmed chicken farm, tear down a surrounding wall, and smash the windows of the owner’s home. Thanks for laying down the law, “America’s Toughest Sheriff”! Puppy blood is on your hands.

[photo via Newsoxy]

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