vegansaurus!
11/08/2010
Meet your new ruling class overlords: The Power Vegans »
Businessweek informs us of an important new trend among CEOs in our ruling class elite: they’re going vegan. Already bored of private jets and trophy wives, these wealthy and powerful men (yes, just men) are looking to veganism to remind the rest of us down here exactly how wealthy and powerful they are. Veganism, you see, is the new status symbol, available only to those who can afford such luxuries with such exotic names like “tofurkey” or “rice and beans.”
Or so Businessweek says. The truth is probably much more mundane than that. If 1 percent of America is vegan, well statistically speaking, that should include 1 percent of CEOs. OK, so Steve Wynn, John Mackey and Biz Stone are vegan, but of that group, Mackey and Stone were vegan before finding their success. So where’s the trend?
If anything, the wealthy business community is going the opposite direction, by riding the Ayn Rand wave that’s been sweeping the (wealthy/white) nation since Day 1 of Obama’s presidency. Fantasizing over “going Galt” is just the gateway drug to social Darwinism, and by extension, dietary Darwinism: the conceit that we must dominate and eat captive animals to prove that humans are always and forever “the fittest.”
I suppose we should be thankful for any positive mainstream media coverage on veganism, but really, it would be great to knock it off with the “men who choose veganism do so for manly masculine reasons, such as power! and strength! and display of riches to attract a suitable mate to bear our male heirs!” message. Whether it’s “hegans” or “power vegans,” all these attempts to rebrand veganism for men (for manly masculine men) just come off as defensive.
Or like we’re over-compensating. Because everyone knows that cooking food and other maternal things, like fussing over cute little animals, is and should always remain the province of women and their ovaries. Never mind that the choice to go vegan is nearly always one of both reason and emotion: “we just don’t have enough land and water to keep eating like this”/”torturing animals in factories is depressing and horrific”— thoughts that are equally available in the healthy brains of both genders.
It’s hard to say what this made-up-the-night-before-deadline trend piece is for, other than to annoy vegan bloggers, delight Ingrid Newkirk, and get Joel Stein paid. No one reads Businessweek after all, unless they’re stuck waiting in a dentist’s office for more than 20 minutes. But if idolizing rich and powerful men is what it takes to peel away a handful of new vegans, then I guess we’ll take it. I’m especially looking forward to my review copy of the Power Vegan Cookbook. It’s amazing what you can whip up if you keep your kitchen pantry stocked with personal chefs and an American Express Centurion Card.
∞ posted at 11:21 by stevesimitzis 
02/05/2010
Dude. They’ve got vegan cheeseburger pizza at the SOMA Whole Foods. HOW DOES JOHN MACKEY EXPECT US TO GET THIN WHEN HE’S ALSO DOING SHIT LIKE THIS TOO?
Oh well.
USA! USA!
Thanks Jenna!
∞ posted at 13:03 by laurahooperb 
01/25/2010
John Mackey withholds larger employee discounts from larger employees. Because the way to help people lose weight (LIKE IT’S ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, YOU FUCKING CREEPY ASS CREEPAZOID) is to shame them and take away reasonably priced, healthy options. Pros: If LFB ever needs a job (and I think she might, bless her heart. that’s barely beating.), it’s 70% off every purchase! Cons: FOOD IS FATTENING!!!!
What happens when your BMI gets over 32? Do the employees have to pay Whole Foods for the privilege of working there? Especially since the BMI is such an accurate tool for gauging health.
I mean, what if he said something like, “Discounts to employees who are less black.”? Or less gay? I know that people are gonna be annoyed by that because you can’t choose your race or sexuality but it’s being proven more and more that you can’t choose what you weigh, bodies are just built differently. Some people are fat, some people are thin, some people gain weight in their stomach, some people gain weight in their ass, ETC ETC ETC. Anyone who has a body can tell you that much. Maybe gym memberships and shit like that would be a smarter incentive to someone who actually gave a fuck about the health of his employees. You know, I’ve defended Whole Foods and even crazy-ass Mackey in the past but the buck stops here. When you insult fatties, IT IS ON. And god knows I still shop there but I think this is the end. I’d rather give Rainbow and mom & pops my business and they’re cheaper anyway.
YES I KNOW, this isn’t exactly vegan related but it’s kinda vegan related and you all know i’m up in it for fat politics. Do not insult a fat person, you will FEEL MY WRATH. MY WRATH THAT IS POWERED BY FAT SO DON’T MESS.
∞ posted at 16:30 by laurahooperb
01/13/2010
» New Yorker profile of Whole Foods CEO John Mackey
The New Yorker profile of John Mackey aka CRAZY PANTS is a must-read. Not because Vegansaurus wants you to stop shopping at Whole Foods. Nah, we know that shit is complicated and we realize that people think vegans are crazy enough without us calling for boycotts of places that bring vegan options to the people just because their CEO is a right-wing nutjob fooling himself into thinking he’s a free-thinking lady’s man. We just want you to read it for the entertainment value!
For reals. Check it: Mackey brings up his own sex life without the interviewer even asking him about it, then says that he won’t say anything about it. He alludes to his college experimentation with drugs, only to say, “I’ll not name those. We can’t be candid about everything in our society. You can’t kick the door down.” Oh Mr. Mackey, you tease! Why won’t you share with us? We all want to hear about how, perhaps, on some insane peyote-mixed-with-ether binge, God, who appeared to you as a goat dressed like Snow White, revealed to you that free-market no-holds-barred capitalism was the way to go! I mean, for instance.
Mackey also talks about how he moved to a vegetarian co-op house in Austin just to get some hot vegetarian ass: “I had no interest in a vegetarian life style,” he said. “But what I was interested in was alternative life styles. And I thought, honestly, that I’d meet a lot of interesting women. And I did.”
Speaking of women, Mackey used to use a fake name to log onto internet forums about Whole Foods and post flattering comments about how cute he was. It’s that kind of sexxxy self-confidence that led him to make this aside, after telling the interviewer he was reading Pride and Prejudice: “I’ve gotten old enough so that my masculinity is not in question.” Wow, he’s so comfortable with his masculinity that he will even read classic works of literature written by a white, straight woman of European heritage who suggests only mild alterations to the patriarchic paradigm—homeboy’s schlong must be totally ginormous!
On the political side, Mackey is just as much of a hoot. I’m sure you remember his op-ed against health care reform last year. This interview makes it clear that that wasn’t the opinion of just a free-thinking eccentric, but rather a right-wing ideologue of the most committed variety. Besides dissing the liberal, practical economist John Maynard Keynes, and citing Ayn Rand and Milton Friedman as having influenced his thinking, he offers an appraisal of unions worthy of right-wing talk radio: “The union is like having herpes. It doesn’t kill you, but it’s unpleasant and inconvenient, and it stops a lot of people from becoming your lover.” A cock-warrior like Mackey would know!
He reveals that he is not only skeptical about climate change, but thinks that “hysteria about global warming” could cause us “to raise taxes and increase regulation, and in turn lower our standard of living and lead to an increase in poverty.”’ Cause everyone knows that raising taxes is basically like the moral equivalent of child snuff films!
Read the whole, amazing thing here.
