vegansaurus!

11/08/2010

Meet your new ruling class overlords: The Power Vegans  »

Businessweek informs us of an important new trend among CEOs in our ruling class elite: they’re going vegan. Already bored of private jets and trophy wives, these wealthy and powerful men (yes, just men) are looking to veganism to remind the rest of us down here exactly how wealthy and powerful they are. Veganism, you see, is the new status symbol, available only to those who can afford such luxuries with such exotic names like “tofurkey” or “rice and beans.”

Or so Businessweek says. The truth is probably much more mundane than that. If 1 percent of America is vegan, well statistically speaking, that should include 1 percent of CEOs. OK, so Steve Wynn, John Mackey and Biz Stone are vegan, but of that group, Mackey and Stone were vegan before finding their success. So where’s the trend?

If anything, the wealthy business community is going the opposite direction, by riding the Ayn Rand wave that’s been sweeping the (wealthy/white) nation since Day 1 of Obama’s presidency. Fantasizing over “going Galt” is just the gateway drug to social Darwinism, and by extension, dietary Darwinism: the conceit that we must dominate and eat captive animals to prove that humans are always and forever “the fittest.”

I suppose we should be thankful for any positive mainstream media coverage on veganism, but really, it would be great to knock it off with the “men who choose veganism do so for manly masculine reasons, such as power! and strength! and display of riches to attract a suitable mate to bear our male heirs!” message. Whether it’s “hegans” or “power vegans,” all these attempts to rebrand veganism for men (for manly masculine men) just come off as defensive.

Or like we’re over-compensating. Because everyone knows that cooking food and other maternal things, like fussing over cute little animals, is and should always remain the province of women and their ovaries. Never mind that the choice to go vegan is nearly always one of both reason and emotion: “we just don’t have enough land and water to keep eating like this”/”torturing animals in factories is depressing and horrific”— thoughts that are equally available in the healthy brains of both genders.

It’s hard to say what this made-up-the-night-before-deadline trend piece is for, other than to annoy vegan bloggers, delight Ingrid Newkirk, and get Joel Stein paid. No one reads Businessweek after all, unless they’re stuck waiting in a dentist’s office for more than 20 minutes. But if idolizing rich and powerful men is what it takes to peel away a handful of new vegans, then I guess we’ll take it. I’m especially looking forward to my review copy of the Power Vegan Cookbook. It’s amazing what you can whip up if you keep your kitchen pantry stocked with personal chefs and an American Express Centurion Card.

02/05/2010

Dude. They’ve got vegan cheeseburger pizza at the SOMA Whole Foods. HOW DOES JOHN MACKEY EXPECT US TO GET THIN WHEN HE’S ALSO DOING SHIT LIKE THIS TOO?
Oh well.
USA! USA!
Thanks Jenna!

Dude. They’ve got vegan cheeseburger pizza at the SOMA Whole Foods. HOW DOES JOHN MACKEY EXPECT US TO GET THIN WHEN HE’S ALSO DOING SHIT LIKE THIS TOO?

Oh well.

USA! USA!

Thanks Jenna!

01/25/2010

John Mackey withholds larger employee discounts from larger employees. Because the way to help people lose weight (LIKE IT’S ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, YOU FUCKING CREEPY ASS CREEPAZOID) is to shame them and take away reasonably priced, healthy options. Pros: If LFB ever needs a job (and I think she might, bless her heart. that’s barely beating.), it’s 70% off every purchase! Cons: FOOD IS FATTENING!!!!
What happens when your BMI gets over 32? Do the employees have to pay Whole Foods for the privilege of working there? Especially since the BMI is such an accurate tool for gauging health.
I mean, what if he said something like, “Discounts to employees who are less black.”? Or less gay? I know that people are gonna be annoyed by that because you can’t choose your race or sexuality but it’s being proven more and more that you can’t choose what you weigh, bodies are just built differently. Some people are fat, some people are thin, some people gain weight in their stomach, some people gain weight in their ass, ETC ETC ETC. Anyone who has a body can tell you that much. Maybe gym memberships and shit like that would be a smarter incentive to someone who actually gave a fuck about the health of his employees. You know, I’ve defended Whole Foods and even crazy-ass Mackey in the past but the buck stops here. When you insult fatties, IT IS ON. And god knows I still shop there but I think this is the end. I’d rather give Rainbow and mom & pops my business and they’re cheaper anyway.
YES I KNOW, this isn’t exactly vegan related but it’s kinda vegan related and you all know i’m up in it for fat politics. Do not insult a fat person, you will FEEL MY WRATH. MY WRATH THAT IS POWERED BY FAT SO DON’T MESS.

John Mackey withholds larger employee discounts from larger employees. Because the way to help people lose weight (LIKE IT’S ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, YOU FUCKING CREEPY ASS CREEPAZOID) is to shame them and take away reasonably priced, healthy options. Pros: If LFB ever needs a job (and I think she might, bless her heart. that’s barely beating.), it’s 70% off every purchase! Cons: FOOD IS FATTENING!!!!

What happens when your BMI gets over 32? Do the employees have to pay Whole Foods for the privilege of working there? Especially since the BMI is such an accurate tool for gauging health.

I mean, what if he said something like, “Discounts to employees who are less black.”? Or less gay? I know that people are gonna be annoyed by that because you can’t choose your race or sexuality but it’s being proven more and more that you can’t choose what you weigh, bodies are just built differently. Some people are fat, some people are thin, some people gain weight in their stomach, some people gain weight in their ass, ETC ETC ETC. Anyone who has a body can tell you that much. Maybe gym memberships and shit like that would be a smarter incentive to someone who actually gave a fuck about the health of his employees. You know, I’ve defended Whole Foods and even crazy-ass Mackey in the past but the buck stops here. When you insult fatties, IT IS ON. And god knows I still shop there but I think this is the end. I’d rather give Rainbow and mom & pops my business and they’re cheaper anyway.

YES I KNOW, this isn’t exactly vegan related but it’s kinda vegan related and you all know i’m up in it for fat politics. Do not insult a fat person, you will FEEL MY WRATH. MY WRATH THAT IS POWERED BY FAT SO DON’T MESS.

01/13/2010

page 1 of 1
Tumblr » powered Sid05 » templated