Hostess files for bankruptcy! »
The Wall Street Journal reports today that Hostess is filing for Chapter 22, which means “restructuring” and also “we’re totally gonna fuck the unions and everyone in our pension plan on this one, investors! Promise!”
As vegans, we’re primarily concerned with our source of inspiration for classic vegan junk food. Thank goodness for Source and our supremely talented Jenny Bradley! For those of you without Source (or Jenny!): What Hostess products are you gonna veganize in 2012?
YO SLUTS! The bitch is BACK! I bet you didn’t even know I was gone because you’re a terrible friend but I was in Russia and Greece HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE! It was the “Go Big or Go Home Eating Tour of Russia and Greece 2011 Too Big to Fail” and it was ridiculous. Despite the fact that I was eating almost constantly, I lost some weight because I was also climbing up hills in thousand-degree heat to get to more food. CRUEL WORLD. Anyway, get ready to hear about everything on my trip until you wish I hadn’t been born and never visit this site again.
The Bold Italic has a piece on junk food veganism in SF. Yes! Another vegan writer in the city! Oh wait, she’s vegetarian! But she wants to be vegan! You go, girl! You can do it! Reach for the stars! Only god can judge you! Age ain’t nothing but a number!
Anyway, there are lots of delicious places mentioned in the story. Have you tried any of that junky goodness? How cute is the design on that story? How fast do you think I can gain the weight I lost in Greece and Russia via eating everything in that story—too late, already done. I’m like a cheetah, blink and you miss me. Eating a cake.
Full disclosure: I write for the Bold Italic! And also, I’m very sexy! That’s a complete full disclosure! Oh wait, I’m broke too. Now you know everything about me. And I wrote this naked. FULL DISCLOSURE. Sex sells!
Your holiday novelty food, veganized: Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts! »
I saw this weird/gross/totally fascinating post on Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts about a month ago, and it made me feel funny inside. “We might be delicious,” they said to me. “Don’t you want to find out how delicious we might be?” Yes, oh yes I did. Once upon a time I was a novelty Pop-Tarts junkie; never the fruit flavors, only the nastiest kinds like S’mores and Chocolate Fudge, and Cinnamon and Brown Sugar right out of the foil, though that wasn’t for pleasure so much as binge-time, ahem. When I went vegan, I assumed Pop-Tarts were on the list of foods I’d never eat again; but then, I was unaware of the genius for creativity in the vegan community. Look at what our guest chefs have done with Project Just Desserts!
Eventually I learned to make a lovely vegan Twinkie, and 10 months ago, our pal Natalye gave us her recipe for vegan Pop-Tarts. When I came upon the Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, I knew I wanted to make them; I just needed the opportunity. THEN I found out that the Great Canned Pumpkin Shortage of 2009 had ended, so I could break open one of the cans my mother had been hording and get baking.
First, I made a vegan pumpkin pie. I used this recipe from VegWeb, making two adjustments: I used 1/2 cup sugar and 1/4 cup maple syrup; and I dissolved the cornstarch into a little hot water and slowly poured it into the food processor. Also, no crust, obviously. I let it cool on the counter and refrigerated it overnight. When I was ready to make the Pop-Tarts, I took the pie out of the fridge to bring it to room temperature.
Following Natalye’s instructions, I doubled the pastry recipe. For the filling, I mushed up the pie—avoiding the extra-cooked edges—and substituted it for the blueberry preserves in the original recipe.
For the icing, I used the cinnamon icing recipe on page 126 of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, without the non-dairy butter. For authentic replication, I left out the cinnamon when icing half the Pop-Tarts, and applied it with a quality food brush.
There you go: vegan pumpkin pie Pop-Tarts! Everything you wanted for your novelty holiday breakfast!