Give yourself the gift of a DOWNER »
I know not everyone watches as much TV as I do so I’m not sure if you’ve all seen the latest KFC commercial.* It’s a peach. Just kidding, it’s crazy! They tell you to “give yourself the gift of time,” this holiday by getting their $19.99 “Festive Feast” for your special dinner. They want you to make a TRADITION out of it. Dudes, that’s fucking TRAGIC. I can only imagine that you would only buy this meal for Christmas or your holiday of choice if you really had to because you can’t cook and can’t afford anything else. That is such a downer, KFC. Like I said, TRAGIC. It’s especially a tragedy considering the cost of KFC to your health and the planet is way more than $19.99.
This is my favorite scene in the commercial:
They have this winter wonderland thing going on with snow and all and then this giant snowball drops down! But wait! That’s not a snowball! Gross.
The truth is that you don’t have to eat KFC’s “feast.” If you have no money and aren’t the best cook, you can still make a great family meal. Actually, in my family, on Christmas eve our traditional meal is spaghetti! Spaghetti is cheap! Math time! Let’s look at the figures:
Walgreens sells Barilla spaghetti (16 oz.) for $1.59 and Ragu pasta sauce at two jars for $3; that’s $4.59 with extra sauce to boot! They also have garlic salt for $.99 and olive oil for $3.49, and my corner store sells french bread for $.99; for $5.47 you’ve got garlic bread (with plenty of olive oil left over). For vegan meatballs, I’m afraid you won’t have any luck at Walgreens—though in SF and NYC, you might find some at your corner store (we live like liquor store kings!). VeganEssentials.com has Nate’s meatless meatballs for $5.29 so I’d imagine they’d be priced similarly at the grocery store. All together, that’s $15.35 and you’ve got sauce, olive oil, garlic salt, and probably meatballs left over. BOOM! Yummier and cheaper than the KFC meal!
So this year, give yourself the gift of spaghetti! Yay!
*That link is probably temporary. But see it now!
O, link-o-rama! O, link-o-rama! Animaux, activités, de Friday jusqu’à Monday, il y a tout ce que vous voulez dans le link-o-rama! »
We’re all ’60s-crazy over here, maybe you can tell? Mad Men is nigh (!!!) and we’ve got the silliest songs stuck in our heads, and here comes this amazing Airstream camper for your little dog to perfect our little fantasies. [Straight Line Designs via Pawesome]
On Sunday afternoon, take a tour of the trees in and around Dolores Park with Chris of Mr. Prune Tree Care. The tour will be in English and Spanish, and run about two hours. Meet at the J stop at Church and 18th Streets at 11 a.m. [thanks for the tip, Mission Mission!]
Hands-On Gourmet is hosting an All-American BBQ workshop on Monday, July 12 to teach you how to make the best animal-free, gluten-free barbecue meal ever. Dishes will include burger buns, patties, potato salad, strawberry shortcake, and ice cream! Gluten-free beer will be available for tasting—attendees must be 12 or older. The workshop runs from 6 to 9 p.m. at the H.O.G. Kitchen at 2325 3rd St., No. 330; tickets cost $75. Please contact Joshua with any questions.
Wholesome Bakery, in conjunction with Ritual Coffee, will lead cookie and cupcake workshops at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts (701 Mission St. at 3rd Street) as part of this summer’s Taste! program. There’s a coffee workshop (duh), too, and an art project called The Ministry of Approximate Travel by local artist Jenny Odell. Every Thursday in July in the Grand Lobby from 6 to 8 p.m. I’d say visit the YBCA’s website for more information, but as of today they actually have no information about it, so.
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People treat animals really poorly, did you know? In Dublin (Calif., not Ireland), some assholes stole a penguin from the zoo, then abandoned her on a fucking sidewalk. HILARIOUS PRANK, guys! Ooh, the new gourmet food is lionfish, because it’s a super-destructive invasive species, wreaking havoc all over the Gulf of Mexico, into the Caribbean, and moving down into South American waters, and “humans are the only predator that can wipe it out.” But how did the lionfish, a native of the western Pacific Ocean, get to the other side of the world? Oh, well, see, people in South Florida who kept them in fishtanks in the ’80s started dumping the fish in the ocean! The wrong ocean! Whoops! And the lionfish figured out how to thrive, and now it’s fucking shit up for coral reefs all over the place. SO LET’S EAT THEM UP TO RECTIFY OUR MISTAKES. Humanity at its best.
Or no, humanity is at its best when it keeps monkeys for research, and the monkeys, because they’re miserable in captivity and hate being experimented on, figure out a genius method of escape, but don’t want to leave all their monkey pals behind, so are “lured back into captivity by scientists armed with peanuts.” I am so proud to be a human right now! BACK BEHIND THE ELECTRIC FENCE, WE MUST CONDUCT MORE TERRIFYING EXPERIMENTS ON YOU, PRIMATE.
People are also totally nasty. KFC makes its buckets from trees in North Carolina’s Green Swamp, which for some reason (money) isn’t protected land, but should be, except (money) KFC is clear-cutting it for fucking buckets. Thanks, government! And thanks, Western “junk food”—you know, your franchises of animal-products-in-everything, plus corn syrup—for giving 15 percent of men and 16 percent of women in Southeast Asia type 2 diabetes! Capitalism, you guys, it’s the best. Free market forever. In San Francisco you won’t be able to buy full-sugar sodas or waters in vending machines on city property anymore, but milk—both dairy and non-dairy!!—will be available. Calories are not all the same, you know—better to get some from protein and fat in soy milk than all from HFCS in a soda, yes? YES.
Deep Roots Animal Sanctuary needs your help to build a coop for their chicken, Mabel, and the chickens they hope to rescue in the future! The coop will be environmentally friendly, Mabel will have friends, and Deep Roots can save more birds. Birds are amazing, did you know? Robins can actually see magnetic fields, which helps them orient themselves. [link via The Telling Compulsion].
Kevin the kestrel is an amazing patient of St. Tiggywinkles [sic] wildlife hospital in Buckinghamshire, England! Someone found him on the ground with a broken leg, and the St. Tiggywinkles staff set it with “a hypodermic needle as a pin, some thin pieces of wire and dental cement.” We wish you a quick and happy recovery, Kevin!
So the president is all, Hey you congressjerks should pass the Food Safety and Modernization Act, it is Srs Bsns. And farmers are getting up on the Facebooks and Twitters, all, We’re safe and good and not harmful of the cows etc., don’t listen to Mercy for Animals, those guys are mean and biased. And I say, I am mean and biased, NO SYMPATHY.
Let’s look at restaurant reviews in the Chronicle! This week, Michael Bauer takes in the “modern neighborhood feel” of Encuentro, and what do you know, his take is very similar to our own Brianna’s! To wit: pretty all right, but could use some improvements. Lucky Oakland with its new restaurants. Lucky SFO, next, getting fancy-pants food from Napa Farms Market in Terminal 2 when it opens in March 2011.
Have you read about the Marines who rescued kittens in Afghanistan? I suppose it means people aren’t 100 percent terrible 100 percent of the time, and it’s nice to see some small acts of kindness in a world of enormous cruelty. Right? Sure.