Wonkette, which I adore, wanted to let you all know that some crazies at a website called Rightly Concerned posted something really gross last week titled “Bible ignored, trainer dies" that says that if Sea World Orlando officials had been reading the Old Testament, they’d have known that disobedient animals "shall be stoned," just like naughty oxen, so get on that already and kill it, KILL IT NOW BEFORE IT KILLS AGAIN DEMON SPAWN OF THE SEA.
Our favorite Olympian, horrendous dinner parties, vegan Peep(er)s, Gordon Ramsay’s blood, dogs dogs dogs and MORE in this week’s link-o-rama! »
Aww, Hipster Puppies: “bernie moved to san francisco because it was more ‘laid back’ and ‘anti-consumerist’ than new york, but still manages to drink two cups of starbucks a day.”
First: Fun-times events!
The Bay Area Vegetarians are having their monthly Vegan Food Party on Sunday, Feb. 28 from noon to 3 p.m. at the Sharp Park Library in Pacifica! Click here for details and to RSVP.
Further adventures with BAVeg: The monthly Vegan Dinner, this time on Thursday, Mar. 4 at 7 p.m. at Loving Hut in Palo Alto! Details here.
Hey North Bay, Shollenberger Park needs your help! It is apparently one of North America’s premier bird sanctuaries, and threatened by the possible installation of an asphalt plant on its borders. Yes, an asphalt plant, which, gross. Help the birds, already!
We haven’t checked out Chronicle restaurant reviews in a while. Michael Bauer went to Gather, where chef Sean Baker, formerly of Millennium, cooks terrifying vegetarian and vegan food and reassuringly meat-tastic dishes like soups of goat and duck. Thank god, we can all get along! Even if “the staff can be a little strident,” those fucking hippies.
The Healthy Food Financing Initiative has $400 million for grocery stores to open in “food deserts,” i.e., areas where you can only buy food at convenience stores. Hopefully this won’t all go to Wal-Mart. But, yay groceries! Everyone needs groceries, duh.
Hey so sea lions have returned to Pier 39 after a months-long absence. No, we don’t know where they were, why they left, or whether these sea lions are even the same ones who used to chill there. It’s all very mysterious. If only someone could speak sea-roar.
Koalas are catching a species-specific disease called koala retrovirus, which acts upon their systems like AIDS does on humans—i.e., it makes them more susceptible to other illnesses that then become lethal. Because what we need are fewer koalas.
The often useless California legislature is debating the creation of an online animal abusers registry, which would apparently function similarly to the sex offenders and arsonists registries. It’s sponsored in part by the Animal Legal Defense Fund; read more details here. (link via SuperVegan!)
The new nightmare dinner party: a butter-n-cheesestravaganza of Paula Deen recipes. Questions: would it all still taste like shit if you veganized it? Probably.
Foreign Policy magazine has a photo essay about life as a dog in China. There aren’t any explicitly gory or violent images, but some are disturbing.
So that’s vile: Jeremy Fox’s "other interests" now include an appearance at Cochon 555, an event in which five (5) chefs and five (5) winemakers prepare a dish from five (5) dead pigs. GET IT? We know he’s made it quite clear he was never a veg chef, and his exact role in this bloodbath is unknown, BUT STILL.
Are you nauseated yet? How does this collection of canned animal products make you feel?
In generally freaky food-related news, robots—partial and full-bodied—that cook! Well, sort of. Some of them ingest beer, and another “recount[s] awful jokes and chuckl[es] to herself.” I don’t know. At least robots don’t eat meat, right? Eh?
Brown Ramsay (duh!) makes a delicious vegetable-and-fingernail stir-fry with Ellen! This video is only a teeny bit gross.
Do not mess with a KILLER whale »
So apparently a killer whale at Orlando’s Marine World killed a trainer. And this isn’t the first time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, killer whales are the gang members of the sea, YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THEM. I’m sorry, but who else has seen that PBS documentary or whatever it was where they follow a pack of orcas as they chase down a blue whale AND HER BABY and then when the mom blue whale is too tired to keep swimming and protect her baby and must rest, they fucking kill the baby JUST TO EAT HIS EYEBALLS? Seriously, this is the kind of gang initiation shit these fools pull. DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. THEM.
That being said, there is a big movement to Save Lolita, a killer whale who is currently at Miami’s Seaquarium (Yes, SEAQUARIUM). From the website:
Lolita is a 42-year-old captive killer whale (orca) living at the Miami Seaquarium in Florida. Since her brutal capture in 1970, she has been kept in a tank that is illegal by the Animal Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) standards for size requirements. Lolita is approximately 21 feet long and 7,000 pounds. Her tank is 20 feet deep at the deepest point and a mere 12 feet deep around the edges. The pool is only 35 feet wide. The Miami Seaquarium is considered to be one of the most dilapidated aquatic parks in the world. It is in need of major repairs, and per the Marine Mammal Inventory Report, has a substantial death rate for their animals.
The site is asking that the asshole owners of the Seaquarium please build a more suitable retirement enclosure for Lolita,* who is totally miserable and stuck in her small, dirty space. I know, it’s not the same as returning her to the ocean, but they ruined the chance of her ever having a normal life when they captured her to put her in a tank to teach kids about respecting animals. Uh, yeah. Read more about Lolita and lend your voice to this effort OR I WILL SIC HER ON YOU.
*Where she could terrorize other beings which I’m okay with because it’s natural for her because she is a KILLER WHALE.