Firefighter saving dog causes millions of hearts to flutter. Actually, I like to imagine that this dog is more a Lassie character and that he’s doing the firefighter saving. Whatever is happening, it gives me faith in the goodness of humans and dogs. Together, we can do anything!
You guys! Our Laura is 50 percent of Jezebel right now, which means it is 100 percent more animal-issues-friendly. Namely, this firefighter rescuing a dog. Hearts flutter, Vegansaurus swoons.
PCRM defends their ridiculous cheese thighs campaign »
We posted last week about PCRM’s* idiotic cheese campaign and just hoped it would go away, but they’re back this week with even more ridiculousness. Neal Barnard, founder and president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, wasn’t content with spreading crap on his own site; he wants to infest the rest of the internet with his rationalizations. Barnard’s piece on Crazy Sexy Life is super-disappointing and filled with hateful rhetoric disguised as caring. Moreover, so much of this shit is ludicrous coming from someone who is a PSYCHIATRIST—aren’t you supposed to care about the emotional wellbeing of others? I feel bad for anyone who was under his psychiatric care. BUT MOVING ON.
Here’s the deal with this campaign: If PCRM wanted to tackle the issue of clogged arteries from animal cholesterol, why not show that? Because people of ALL sizes deal with it, and it’s HONEST. Oh, yes, but it’s not as provocative as the big belly.
What REALLY sucks about this campaign is that it sounds reasonable and supportive, but it’s actually the same old crap (“I’m not racist, but…”). The hypocrisy of Barnard’s “of course fat people shouldn’t be shamed because they’re HELPLESS VICTIMS OF THE FOOD INDUSTRY but we should totally SHAME FAT PEOPLE SO THEY STOP BEING HELPLESS VICTIMS OF THE FOOD INDUSTRY” approach — it’s so twisted! I’ll leave you with this bit of business that reader/occasional contributor/great person Rick Kelley left in the comments on our last post. It’s outstanding, and helps to explain exactly what’s so fucked about this tactic:
The “angle” these ads use — namely, “fat bodies are disgusting, so go vegan” — is shared with countless advertising campaigns selling every sort of bullshit imaginable, to all of our detriment. They posit a particular kind of “desirable body” and shame those who fail to attain it. Branding veganism as a weight loss strategy doesn’t do anyone any favors, and it doesn’t make new vegans (unless week-long fad dieters count). These ads have nothing to do with health, not anymore than some soap or deodorant company is committed to health (and a garden-fresh scent). No one is disputing the health benefits of a plant-based diet — Forks Over Knives is routinely embraced, recommended, and celebrated throughout vegan circles, most definitely on this site — but rather rejecting the notion that a “vegan brand” to sell “ethical eating” by way of a “stop being so fucking fat, fatties” campaign is anything but mean-spirited and counter-productive.
Here are a few reasons why, from the practical to the ethical:
(1) More than anything else, this resembles diet ads, and constructs veganism as a diet. Diets are by their nature temporary and end-goal oriented. If someone goes vegan to lose weight and they don’t, it seems unlikely they’d continue. If they do, it seems likely they’ll stop after they’ve attained their goal.
(2) Whether or not someone loses weight, the use and property-status of nonhumans isn’t remotely addressed, because there is no framework or analysis to understand it. You can go through a two-week vegan diet weight loss plan cloaked in fur and leather, occasionally shooting a dog, as easily as not.
(3) It’s alienating and reinforces notions of vegan exclusivity, superiority, and contempt for human animals.
(4) By playing into normative ideals of the human body, it reinforces patriarchal notions of beauty. Despite the inclusion of a male-presenting body in the ad, no one being at all serious would argue that advertising (including this one) primarily targets men. The idea here, as FUCKING EVERYWHERE, is that female-presenting bodies are by definition thin; if not, they are gross and in need of recuperation (i.e. shaming).
(5) By focusing on isolated, individual bodies (and certainly not whole bodies) outside of any world they might inhabit, it erases people’s lived experiences. It erases the fact that different cultures view bodies in different ways; it erases the realities of people’s access to healthy foods, which are enormously pre-determined by class structures; and it erases the most basic fact of all, which is that we live in these bodies we find ourselves in, the social value of which is determined by things often outside of our control (like fucking PCRM ads, apparently).
To end this manifesto/comment, I’d just point out that one thing a “vegan movement” (should it ever arrive) needs to do is to link nonhuman animal oppression with all the other oppressive structures that dominate our lives (like patriarchy, class oppression, racism, rigid systems of normative ideals, capitalist marketing as a means of social change, etc.). Damaging nonsense like this hurts that future effort.
I encourage PCRM (and really everyone ever) to read Health at Every Size, learn about our so-called “Obesity Epidemic,” and read up on the big business of fat hate. I wrote this same shit to PETA last year but you know, since PETA and PCRM are literally in bed together (UGH MY EYES! Seriously, picturing that just sent shivers down my spine), it can’t hurt to remind them. Show compassion for everyone and work on effective campaigns that breed love and respect for all. THE END.
*PCRM has such great campaigns, why are they focusing energy and money on this one? My experience is that Animal Rights groups that focus on too many campaigns just do them all poorly. Why not work on one thing and do it really, really well?
That’s Pam from True Blood throwing down for lab chimps! She’s working with PCRM to help pass the Great Ape Protection Act which is the best act and MUST MUST MUST pass. And as you certainly know, you don’t fuck with Pam; she will eat your face. And you will like it. Why is she the sexiest best?
Also, how freaky is it to see Kristin Bauer looking like a human? She’s all-American beautiful like a Charlie’s Angel or some equally gorgeous shiz but I don’t like it. Pam is severe! When you look at her you know she’s gonna either make fun of you and then kill you or make fun of you and then fuck you and then kill you, and that’s a quality I look for in my women. Rowr.
Your government hates you: the feds spent taxpayer money to buy surplus dead chickens! »
So, you know that OUR GOVERNMENT with OUR MONEY bought $40 MILLION worth of chicken that nobody wanted? Because the chicken industry is killing more birds than ever, even though demand for dead birds is slightly waning. UGH YOU CANNOT WIN AGAINST PURE EVIL AND STUPIDITY.
As demand for chicken meat remains far below the number of birds who are actually being raised and killed, rather than allowing the market to adjust to basic supply and demand principles, the federal government Monday announced it will buy $40 million of unwanted chicken products that will be dumped on our nation’s school kids and others in federal food programs.
In short, chicken-meat companies have continued increasing the number of birds they raise for food while demand has remained flat. Normally, in a free market, an industry that produces beyond what consumers want will contract. But not the poultry industry. It instead relies on regular government support in times like these—and by that I mean nearly all the time.
Read the rest here! And then GET PISSED! By being vegan, I like to think that I’m affecting the market because my money isn’t going toward these fucks, and because the industry doesn’t slow down to keep pace with the declining demand, the government just buys the surplus. It makes me SO MAD. I’ll never stop being vegan, and I’ll never stop rejecting that disgusting industry, but this really makes me want to live off the grid and not pay a single fucking cent in taxes and become an anarchist and just cook out of my trashcan and live in a hobbit hut and call it a day. I don’t know what good that’d do anyone but the point is IT MAKES ME CRAZY.
Make the world’s greatest food: Yumm Sauce! »
You most likely have no clue what Yumm Sauce is because you’ve been living under a motherfucking rock. It’s this savory, tangy, creamy dressing/dip/sauce of amazement, available almost exclusively* from Cafe Yumm, a chain of restaurants in Eugene, Ore. At this magical Cafe Yumm, they serve the sauce on pretty much everything, but most especially their bowls.
It’s totally next-level hippie shit, so damn good. You’ll feel so nourished by comforting, healthful, real foods that you end up typing sentences as embarrassing as this one. Damn, that shit will make you go cross-eyed it’s so good, and the bitch of it is you can only get it in certain parts of the Pacific Northwest. Ugh, awful. You’re probably like, “Laura, why the hell are you telling us about this magical magicallity when I can’t ever eat it? Although you’re pretty and smart, YOU SUCK!”
To that I say: 1) You think I’m pretty? Aww, thanks! And 2) GIRLFRIEND, I GOT YOUR BACK. I found a recipe online and it’s the real deal. Well, it’s not exactly the real deal, but it’s very similar, not much work at all, and HELLA TASTY. Make it immediately, put it on everything, win the respect of family and friends.** Plus, it’s wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, and low in sodium, if you care about that shit. There’s a ton of oil in it but that’s good fat, right?
This picture is what your sauce should look like, except not in a jar with a label. If it looks like that, it’s because you wimped out and just bought some. Not cool, dawg.
*I say “almost exclusively” because Jonas brought me some back from Food Fight Grocery in Portland once. That was the day we got along the best in the history of our relationship.
**Good luck with THAT.
UPDATE: substitute nutritional yeast for the brewers yeast! LISTEN TO COMMENTER ADRIENNE, SHE IS VERY RIGHT.
Yo vegans with money: Support two awesome local vegans! »
First, there’s Laura Miller with San Francisco-based Sidesaddle Kitchen (we love her and her delicious wares). She was selling at the Underground Market but then that shit was shut down by the Feds or whatever and so she’s looking for some help via Kickstarter. If you’re into tasty raw goodness, look into donating, because she’s the real deal and her product knows what’s up! She’s looking to go legit and is crowd-sourcing her funds, so if you want to be swimming in RAW VEGAN THIN MINTS, you’ll get up on that. Plus, her Kickstarter video is super super cute and great and you should watch it and then give her all your money. Sidesaddle’s trying to raise $10,000 and she has until Sunday, Aug. 21 to do it. BAM!
Second there’s Never Felt Better vegan shop in Sacramento raising money on Indie Gogo! They tried a Kickstarter earlier this year and found that maybe the amount they were asking for was a little too much from us poor vegans, so they’re going a new route and trying to raise smaller bits of cash for smaller projects. Smart! They’re currently the only all-vegan store in Northern California and I’m afraid that if we don’t support them, that they won’t make it. And they should, because they are awesome, and providing a great service, and come on, vegans! I know there are some Scrooge McDucks out there swimming around in their piles of money (invite me over! I swim really well in money!) and why not throw a few dollars to these vegan companies, DO IT TO IT. Never Felt Better is trying to raise $2,500 and they have 22 days left. BAM!
The Teal Cat Project, put together by vegan geniuses Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Denise Muller is AWESOME. They buy a bunch of cat tchotchke from thrift stores and the like (or you can donate some!), then spray-paint them teal (the best color, no contest), then sell these sparkly, snazzy new cats to you for $25. All the money goes to help real cats in the ghetto! Or in suburbia! Or from mansions! Kidding, not those mansion cats, they’re doing A-OK.
The cats are limited, and I have this sinking feeling that they’re almost out, and I’m finna buy one soooo if you want in, DO IT TO IT. And if you don’t make the cut (screw-up!), then you can follow them on Twitter and find out when the next run will happen.
Guest recipe: Seitan in mole! »
Knifestyles of the Fit and Fabulous has an amazing recipe for seitan in mole. Yes, SEITAN IN MOLE! Delicious, spicy, chocolatey, rich, decadent mole sauce. This is a meal that will impress you and yours so inflict it upon everyone you know! Have a dinner party! Fancy it up! Gorge yourself on the happiness that is vegan food! You deserve it, you’re such a good person, and so attractive, too!
The directions are as follows: First read all about Shana of Knivestyles amazing adventures, and then DO IT UP!
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 small onion, diced small
1 large garlic clove, minced
2 vine-ripened tomatoes, peeled, seeded and chopped (or tomates concassés. I’m so fancy)
1/4 cup Zante currants
1 Tbsp. toasted sesame seeds
1/4 tsp. each: cinnamon, ground anise seed, ground cumin, ground cloves
Salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup almonds, soaked for 6 to 8 hours, drained and rinsed
1 cup water, more if needed
3 dried ancho chiles, soaked for at least 30 minutes in hot water. Make sure they are submerged by placing a lightweight bowl on top.
1 oz. unsweetened chocolate, melted
Heat medium saute pan over medium heat. When hot, add 2 Tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil and heat for 30 seconds.
When oil is hot, add onions and a pinch of salt. Sweat for three to five minutes.
Add garlic. When fragrant (after 30 to 60 seconds), add tomatoes and currants. Stir to combine.
When currants are plump (about a minute), add spices. Stir to combine. Lower flame and stir mixture for about 5 minutes to develop the flavors. The spices will become a nice brown and very fragrant. Be careful not to burn. Remove from heat.
In a blender, combine onion mixture with almonds, sesame seeds and water. Puree until very smooth.
Remove chiles from water, remove stems and seeds. Rough chop. Place in blender. With the motor running, add melted chocolate to chiles and onion mixture. You may have to pause and scrape down the sides. Blend until pourable. Store in refrigerator until ready to use.
1 lb. seitan, cut into even size cubes
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. chili powder
2 Tbsp. tamari
Heat oven to 325 F. Line a baking dish with parchment paper.
Heat a medium enameled cast iron casserole dish over medium high heat. When hot, add oil and heat for 30 seconds. Add seitan cubes and brown.
Add spices and tamari. Lower heat to medium low and stir for five minutes to develop the flavors.
Add seitan to baking dish. Bake for 10 minutes, then stir to rotate. Bake five more minutes.
When seitan comes out of the oven, add back into casserole. Cover with mole. Stir to combine. Cover. Bake at 325 for 20 minutes. Remove cover and bake for five more minutes.
Make it: the famous Farmhouse veggie burger, VEGANIZED! »
I love veggie burgers personally and professionally, so when I say this is the best veggie burger I’ve ever had, you better believe this veganized Farmhouse veggie burger is the best veggie burger you’ve never eaten. Unfortunately, the original recipe isn’t vegan, but with one small substitute, it can be yours! And that one substitute is Daiya cheddar (or any shredded vegan cheese, but Daiya is comes shredded and I’m already working for this burger, you know? Why the extra work?). Then, just follow the recipe as is and BAM, PERFECT VEGAN VEGGIE BURGER. Well, I’ve never actually MADE the burger (details!) but the friends who made them and invited me over said that they did just as the recipe said, subbed Daiya, and roasted the cubed eggplant at 400 F for about 20 to 25 minutes with olive oil sprayed on it, because sauteing takes longer and we gots to eat!
Seriously, make these, and serve them to your friends and family on crusty rolls with Wildwood’s garlic aioli, roasted red peppers, and caramelized onions. OR just eat it straight out of the pan, which is what I did. And then I deglazed the pan and ate that with a spoon because I’m the grossest. YOU’RE WELCOME!
Incidentally, I played Bananagrams for the first time last night. What fun! I need more of that in my life; we all do. Life is short, there’s no such thing as too many veggie burgers and too much Bananagrams. PEEL!
[Note: I did not take this photo, but your burger will look something like that. If it doesn’t, you really fucked up.]
Animal Place went and did some awesome shit again, rescuing these cute-ass calves from slaughter and putting up pictures of their cuteness for us to love on. Look at this ridiculous baby drinking milk because milk is for calves, not stupid humans! You drink that milk, you Cute Stuff McGee!
Because you love cows and they are the most beautiful, amazing creatures and you want to support their welfare, throw a little of your hard-earned dollar dollar bills at the good people of Animal Place. They’re doing the work a lot of us can’t but wish we could so hey, if you’ve got some extra dinero, buy me a cake. When you’re done with that, spend the rest on these awesome calves. BABY COWS I LOVE YOU.