Don’t pork chop me, bro!  »

One thing I’ve learned from writing for Vegansaurus is that there are a lot of different ideas about what’s offensive and what’s not. I’ve had to alter my language a bit—I don’t write “lame” on here anymore! Not that you cared to notice. BUT my brother and I were talking about all the word-sensitivities and he said we should come up with our own vocab for these things! Problem solved! I like it. Among his suggestions were “Stop pork-chopping me” and “I’m not vealing that,” both very useful. You guys got any ideas? How about something like “cheddar-pusher?” Ooh, or “cow-nippler!” Bring the brisket, yo—I want to hear more!

This is not super related but this whole thing reminds me of the Mr. Show sketch:

[Can’t see the video? Watch it on!]

Don’t pork chop a pork-chopper!


Peta wants to rename the Tenderloin, I say go for it  »

published this letter that Peta sent to the mayor of the fair San Francisco:

March 29, 2011

The Honorable Edwin M. Lee
Mayor of San Francisco

Via e-mail

Dear Mayor Lee,

I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 2 million members and supporters, including thousands in the Bay Area, with an idea that could help revitalize the struggling Tenderloin district: rename it the “Tempeh District.” By discarding an outdated moniker that evokes the horrors of the meat trade, you’ll be sending a strong message to progressive businesses and health-conscious residents that this neighborhood is ready for a fresh start.

Tempeh, a protein-packed food made from soybeans, is a healthy, cruelty-free meat substitute. In contrast, tenderloin comes from real suffering. In today’s intensive meat production industry, piglets have their tails and testicles cut off without being given any painkillers and breeding sows are confined for life to metal crates so small they can’t even turn around or take two steps. Cattle are burned with hot irons, their horns are cut or burned off, and males are castrated—all without painkillers.

It’s true that the Tenderloin echoes vice and corruption and that slaughterhouses are constantly found to be in violation of the law and more. But now’s the perfect time to put the city’s past in the deep freeze. San Francisco is now renowned for some of the best vegan cuisine in the world, and the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal. If Tempeh doesn’t excite you, how about Granola Flats or Seitan’s Lair? You could even run a contest to choose a veggie moniker.

Sincerely yours,

Tracy Reiman
Executive Vice President

Thoughts? I think it’s HILARIOUS! But I’m the resident Peta antics fan. And I also have a passion for renaming things. Some people in the SFist’s comments have some good neighborhood renaming ideas (though I wouldn’t read all the comments, they are likely to offend) like we could call Hunters Point “Gatherers Point.”

In reality, I wouldn’t rename the Tenderloin the “Tempeh District” but a name change might be just the thing to revitalize the area! People are acting like it’s crazy but neighborhood names come and go and any time you want to gentrify an area, you GOT to change the name, or at least find an old name like Northern Liberties and bring it back. What was the name of the Tenderloin neighborhood like 150 years ago? Though I’m fine with the standard “Gayborhood” as far as gentrifying usually goes.

[Graphic from Ork Posters!]


Redefining vegetarianism: Oh NO he didn’t!  »

Chef Yotam Ottolenghi, who I’ve never heard of, is redefining vegetarianism. BECAUSE HE CAN. JUST KIDDING who the fuck is he? I know you’re on TV, Mr. Ottolenghi, but your name isn’t Webster, bitch, you’re not the damn dictionary. Get it straight: you can always make up NEW words but not just anyone can redefine old words. Like if I want to make up the word “sandwish” (1. the sandwich you wish you had; 2. fictitious sandwich you dream of), that’s cool (actually, that’s awesome and you’re welcome), but you can’t run around saying a slice of pizza can now be called a sandwich! THAT’S CRAZY TALK and NARCISSISM.

Here he goes, “‘You can be vegetarian and eat fish,’ he says. ‘It’s your choice, just say: “I am what I am.” There are no hard core divisions any more.’” As a Popeye fan, I’m all for I am what I am, but if you eat fish, what you am ain’t a vegetarian. What you are is someone who doesn’t eat any meat besides fish. How hard is that to say? It’s no more difficult than saying “I’m vegetarian but I eat fish” and it has the bonus of not being TOTAL BULLSHIT.

(via Vegetarian Star!)

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