It’s a photo set of a capybara named CHEESECAKE who is fostering orphaned dachshund puppies. That is all. #HOLYCRAP #WTF
Hello, friends! It’s Mark’s WTF Wednesday! »
You guys, two epic things happened in the past week! First, I turned 28 and then I got monumentally sick. I was so sick, in fact, that I showed up to my own awesome birthday party woozy and coughing up a storm, but still managed to have an awesome time and offend my mother with my horrible jokes. She sat in a corner of the room the entire night and sent me pictures of myself from her phone with desperate captions begging me I calm down and stop swearing so much. I couldn’t do it! I love to swear! Maybe that’s why I’m still sick.
You know how sick I am? I am writing this post from bed, where I am curled up with my knitting, Charmed queued up on Netflix (I am just starting to watch this show! Ten years late!), and my phone all ready to call up Allen and make demands of him. He doesn’t buy it anymore, though. Allen used to be at my beck and call when I was sick, but now he just tells me to stop pretending I’m going to die and drink some Theraflu. Can you imagine that he and I will have been together for four years on Sunday? Gross! I hope things don’t get too serious!
Man, am I feeling ornery this week. That’s why I’m please as punch (take that!) that a zoo couldn’t get pandas to mate in captivity. Not only did pandas Sunshine and Sweetie fail to produce an heir, but they straight-up wrestled instead of doing the deed. I can relate to this because this is what also happens in my personal life. Every time I try to hug Allen at night, he kicks me. Hard. Then he blames me for bothering him because I should know that he is a very precise sleeper and cannot be touched. He also does this fantastic thing where, as soon as I have left the room during the night (even for as little as 30 seconds) he will roll himself into a sushi with ALL of the covers. Then, when I try to get them back, he kicks me! Four years, you guys!
Since this has kind of turned into my “grumpy anniversary post,” let me show you a video of a dog freaking out on an escalator (as dogs are wont to do) as the dude accompanying him laughs it up.
That is some adorable shit, you might be thinking, but how are you going to relate that to your own relationship? Easy, you guys. Allen is also a very particular escalator rider! He has to stand on his own step and look serious the entire time! And woe betide anyone who attempts to get on the step with him; he will put his arms out like a plane and prevent you (this is also how he dances), and if you still persist he will kick you. And by you, I mean me. And by kick, I mean ask politely to step up or down. Allen, like this adorable dog, knows that riding the escalator is serious business.
Let me end this for you with a clip of a baby otter squeaking. I’m going to post it without comment and not even relate it to Allen. This, I feel, is the way anniversary present I can give him because I am not sharing any more of his personal history and embarrassing moments.
That’s it for this week! Send me links for next week and have a love-filled Wednesday!
Happy Easter from Felon! »
This is our friend Lucia’s dog, Felon. He is THE BEST. He loves flowers and eating all your Easter snacks and he doesn’t give a shit! Let’s all now stare at him for an hour.
Hello, Jason Stackhouse po’ boy. I love you. Want to get married? I think it’s legal in Washington state, now.
[brilliant recipe and photo by That Pain in the Ass Vegan!]
Guest post: We can have tigers as pets? WTF, right? »
Rachel wrote about the tragedy in Ohio last week; I’m sure it didn’t escape your notice—the release of 56 wild animals kept as pets before their owner Terry Thompson committed suicide, and the subsequent death of 49 of them, got a lot of media coverage. That meant that many of my friends read about it, and pretty much universally asked “How the hell did he get those animals in the first place?”
Well, the short answer is that Thompson bought them, mostly, and he was not doing anything illegal when he did. Near the end of his term, former Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland issued an order that outlawed the ownership or sale of certain wild animals—but Ohio’s Department of Natural Resources never enforced the rule, and the order expired in April when it wasn’t extended by now-Governor John Kasich.
As it stands, in Ohio you can own animals like grizzly bears and lions, as long as you house them on your private property, and aren’t breeding, exhibiting, or selling them—even if you have an animal-cruelty conviction, as Thompson had. Further, you can have those animals living on your property and don’t have to let anyone know about it. And in some states, these animals are available for sale, which is how people like Thompson got them in the first place.
I posted on Pawesome a while ago about a petition to change laws about exotic-animal ownership in Indiana; this isn’t just a problem in one town or one state. It sounds crazy that in Ohio and other states you have to license your dog and can’t own a pit bull, but you can literally have a baboon or wolf in your backyard. But it’s true.
This is not a good situation for these animals. Born Free USA campaigns against keeping wild animals like the ones at the Ohio property in captivity. Taking care of an animal like a tiger is no small feat: Think of what your cat eats in a day and multiply that by about 100 times. They need a huge quantity of food, as well as specialized veterinary care. And when they don’t have the proper environment or enough space—which is hard to provide for a large animal when it’s living on private property—they suffer physically and mentally.
Keeping these animals as pets is just cruel. Many owners of these animals claim to love them, but as Susan Orlean said in the New Yorker, love isn’t defined by a desire to possess.
It’s dangerous for people, too, when wild animals are kept as pets. Dogs and cats have been domesticated for millennia; tigers and lions and wolves are all wild, unpredictable animals. We can’t know how they’ll react, or what will upset them, and we can’t blame them when that happens. That is how they are: They’re wild. Someone easily could have been killed by one of the animals let loose in Ohio this week, and it’s remarkable that nobody was.
Want to know what the laws are in your state? Check out this Wall Street Journal interactive infograph to find out if your state allows private ownership of large cats, wolves, bears, primates, or dangerous reptiles. If you’re not happy with the answer, write to your state and federal representatives to tell them why, and ask them to change things. A reminder of the toll of this week’s Ohio deaths—and that it could have been a hell of a lot worse—wouldn’t hurt; neither would pointing out that elections are coming up.
Regardless of the laws where you live, head to Change.org to sign the petition letting Gov. Kasich know that Ohio’s laws need to change, now, before something like this happens again.
Terri Coles lives in Toronto, Ont., where she enjoys barbecuing, feeding feral cats, going to local music shows and getting really mad about hockey games. She blogs about her adventures in plant-based eating at The Vegina Monologues.
OMG THIS SQUIRREL. That is all. ALSO: OMG. Is it legal for a human to marry a squirrel in California? I’ll move to Argentina to marry this squirrel! I’ll do it! Marriage laws are so bizarre: you can marry your cousin, but not someone of the same sex, and certainly not a squirrel. I just don’t understand anything.
This Saturday (Feb. 13) is the SF VEGAN BAKESALE! Come buy sweets for your sweet or eat your lonely self into morbid obesity, hell if I care. POINT IS, BUY LOTS OF STUFF. The money will be going to Cycles of Change APC and Harvest Home Sanctuary. Also, word on the street is that there will be a chicken there to love on. A CHICKEN. How can you not want to love on a chicken? You’re a creep, that’s how.
SEE! YOU! THERE!
Oh and we still need bakers so if you want to go the extra mile, EMAIL ME!
V-Day Dance: The V stands for VEGAN!!!! »
I don’t mean to be the resident pessimist here, but Valentine’s Day is just one of those holidays that has the tendency to be a total bummer. And I’m not just talking about the hopelessly in-love couples with the cliched, sickening, we-met-at-Dolores-Park-because-I-was-wearing-my-new-ultra-gaudy-neon-American-Apparel-leggings-and-matching-scrunchie-when-he-rode-by-on-his-fixie-and-it-was-love-at-first-sight story who make the rest of us feel like shit for being alone. I mean, that’s just one aspect of it. But then take, say, the pounds and pounds of pink-and-red-foil-wrapped, heart-shaped chocolate on display at your local grocery store. Yeah, can’t eat it. And that’s just for starters.
So for those of you looking for something to do that weekend, well, why not a Valentine’s Day DANCE?! Yeah, sure, it’s totally kitschy and might stir up some long-repressed and entirely unwanted memories of adolescent dances and all the awkwardness that accompanied them, but seriously, what else are you going to do (aside from camping out on the couch and watching Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks movies while pigging out on Oreos and vegan ice cream and feeling sorry for yourself)??!!!?! BESIDES, IT’S FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
Included in the price of your ticket are all sorts of vegan treats—there will be hors d’oeuvres and desserts—including baked goods from Vegansaurus friends Sugar Beat Sweets and Fat Bottom Bakery!!—and raffle tickets and goody bags. Plus, two single vegans will be auctioned off for dates, and they’re pretty cute (check out the website for pictures and details, and please direct all comments on how cute the cat in the picture with Brian is to me because he’s MINE [the cat, not Brian]). Plus, there’s dancing, and music, and if you haven’t seen me dance, you’re missing out because I pretty much own you all on the dance floor. OH, AND DID I MENTION?! OPEN BAR. That’s right. And if you’re not yet 21, no worries, because you can just give all your free alcohol to me. PROBLEM SOLVED.
So here comes the rough part—it’s a $50 price tag for this event. BUT, proceeds from the event will benefit Vegan Outreach so if it turns out to be a total bust, at least you can feel good about yourself for being altruistic or something.
And lucky for you, Vegan Outreach is giving away a pair of tickets to this dance for you and a guest of your choosing, be it your significant other, a hot date, a blind date, your best friend, your little sister, your dog/cat/hamster, or me (HEY GUYS, I’M SINGLE SLASH AWESOME). All you have to do is share the best surprise you’ve given or received on Valentine’s Day or some other special momentous day, and if your story is picked, you get in free. You can do that on the Facebook page for the event.
And just a tip: If your life is full of completely boring, unromantic moments like mine, just lie, because seriously, no one will know the difference.
That cat is all, “UGH I HATE TO CUDDLE AFTER YOU ARE SO NEEDY.” But not really because that’s more disgusting than anything else. Also, if there is ever a movie made about Star Jones and her gay ex-husband, these two should play them.