vegansaurus!

05/18/2011

That’s the chicken fried tempeh from Greenburgers in SF. Why is it so hard to take a good savory food photo? It’s like they always come out looking like a big pile of garbage or a big pile of throw-up. If you have any tips, let me know! Please note: the tips should be for dining in low-lighting and using the iPhone’s camera. I know, it’s an ideal situation.
Anyway, trust that everything on that plate tasted DELICIOUS. Perfectly cooked tempeh coated in crispy-fried deliciousness, served with amazing asparagus (yay spring!) and your choice of fries or sweet potato fries. It comes with mashed potatoes normally but those aren’t vegan. YET!* It was exceptionally tasty. ALSO: Greenburgers JUST debuted a vegan sloppy joe (!!!), so I’ll be back very soon to try.
All in all, definitely give Greenburgers a shot, and let me know what you think! It’s definitely the cleanest/nicest place on this block of the Haight, and a totally acceptable place to bring your fancy parents or fancy friends who don’t like a side of Hep C with their food. Prudes! And I only say that because I know someone that actually happened to. And her name is Natasha Lyonne. And it also involved lots of drugs and possible sex with a parking meter. No matter, still love that bitch! I don’t know where this review is going but imma stop it right here. GOODNIGHT, SIR!
*Greenburgers! Earth Balance and coconut creamer make excellent mashed potatoes!

That’s the chicken fried tempeh from Greenburgers in SF. Why is it so hard to take a good savory food photo? It’s like they always come out looking like a big pile of garbage or a big pile of throw-up. If you have any tips, let me know! Please note: the tips should be for dining in low-lighting and using the iPhone’s camera. I know, it’s an ideal situation.

Anyway, trust that everything on that plate tasted DELICIOUS. Perfectly cooked tempeh coated in crispy-fried deliciousness, served with amazing asparagus (yay spring!) and your choice of fries or sweet potato fries. It comes with mashed potatoes normally but those aren’t vegan. YET!* It was exceptionally tasty. ALSO: Greenburgers JUST debuted a vegan sloppy joe (!!!), so I’ll be back very soon to try.

All in all, definitely give Greenburgers a shot, and let me know what you think! It’s definitely the cleanest/nicest place on this block of the Haight, and a totally acceptable place to bring your fancy parents or fancy friends who don’t like a side of Hep C with their food. Prudes! And I only say that because I know someone that actually happened to. And her name is Natasha Lyonne. And it also involved lots of drugs and possible sex with a parking meter. No matter, still love that bitch! I don’t know where this review is going but imma stop it right here. GOODNIGHT, SIR!

*Greenburgers! Earth Balance and coconut creamer make excellent mashed potatoes!

11/05/2010

BREAKING: Escape from New York Pizza in the Mission HAS VEGAN CHEESE!  »

Yo! Another SF pizza parlor serving up the good stuff with Daiya. That makes Amici’s (the review says they serve Cheezly but it’s Daiya now!), Patxi’s, and now Escape from New York Pizza on 22nd Street in the mission, all carrying vegan pizza made with Daiya! Delightful! We have confirmation that their crust is vegan, but we’re not sure if the other locations are serving it. Street team, where you at?! If you know, leave it in the comments and we’ll update the post. Further, you can get POTATOES on your pizza. I love potatoes on a pizza. That starch-on-starch goodness makes me very happy. We haven’t tried this one yet but we hear it’s amazing so everyone, order it tonight! And report back! Thank you much!

UPDATE 11/7/10: They’ve got Daiya at all five Escape from New York Pizza locations! Get on it!!

[image by Troy Holden on Flickr!]

11/20/2008

Review: Rosamunde Sausage Grill!  »

Rosamunde is a shitbox hole-in-the-wall where you can order all kinds of gross-ass dead animal sausages and a couple vegan sausages. I believe they use Tofurky brand. The sauerkraut is first-rate and the grilled onions are delicious too. Basically everything you ever wanted to put on a sausage and the buns are terrific! And I’m not talking about the crazy German lady who works there! Or if I am, I’m also talking about the actual sausage buns too! The pickles are NYC Jewish deli-style too, definitely worth the buck. Other than that, you can’t really eat in but you can take your sausage to one of the 54 bars nearby and enjoy it with some beer. Sausage and beer, people love that, right? I think that’s how it goes, fuck if I know, I’ve checked out of relating to the human race like three years ago.

A final note: Whenever I come in here, I feel like recreating the breakdown scene from Half Baked* but with sausage. First I would point to the dead chicken sausage and say, “Fuck you!” and then I would point to the dead lamb sausage and say, “Fuck you!” and then I would point to the vegan sausage and say, “You’re cool!” and then, “I’m out!” Actually, I would prolly say, “I’m out, bitches!” but that wouldn’t be staying true to the film. And if I’m anything, it’s accurate. And very good-looking.

*This is a really great movie, by the way. It was written by Dave Chappelle, directed by Tamra Davis (WHO ALSO DIRECTED THE PEERLESS BILLY MADISON and is married to Beastie Boy Mike D!) and has a cameo by Tommy Chong as the Squirrel Master. Have I piqued your interest?

[photo via yelp]

11/06/2008

A native New Yorker’s guide to real bagels in San Francisco  »

I’m in New Jersey right now, hiding out and hustling from my parent’s dining room. My mother bought me a package of bagels from New York and I have been slowly devouring them, with my coffee in the morning/afternoon (can’t quite get on East Coast time), which made me want to talk about where to get bagels in San Francisco.

Now, if you live in California and you’ve had the pleasure of biting into a New York bagel, let’s make something very clear: bagels in San Francisco are a compromise, a test of your true love. Your palate will adjust, but there’s nowhere on the West Coast that has bagels that are as good (something about the water, I hear?).

That being said, I only consider two places in town as bagel contenders.

Katz Bagels in several locations: Lower Haight, the Mission, and SOMA
The bagels themselves are OK; when eaten fresh they are doughy and satisfying, and certainly not as sweet as a Noah’s Bagel, but I mention Katz here because they are vegan-friendly. They carry Tofutti, including the Herbs & Chives variety, which you can then load up with vegetables if you wish. You can also get peanut butter or hummus on your bagel if the sometimes plasticky taste of Tofutti bugs you.

House of Bagels in the Inner Richmond
Personally, I like House of Bagels the best. They’re a very close approximation of a NY bagel and they even taste okay if you don’t toast them (I have never toasted a bagel until moving to California, TRUE FACT!). However, no vegan-friendly toppings here, so you’ll want to buy a dozen and take them home and do with them what you will. There are a few places in town that sell them, including Real Food and Rainbow, so you don’t have to go to the Inner Richmond if you don’t want to.

What are your favorite places to get bagels in town?

[photo by Rusvaplauke]

10/20/2008

Review: Love & Haight deli!  »

San Francisco is a town that goes to bed early. Or rather, it stops eating at around 9 p.m. Then, it takes itself to the Power Exchange for a nightcap. We are a city in which you can come to be who you want to be and everyone will love you and ask you to get married illegally, unless the person you want to be is someone who wants to eat a meal that doen’t come from the liquor store after 10pm. That person is welcome to return to New York or LA or London or whatever place they came from.

Sure, there are a tiny number of all-night diners, but with the exception of Sparky’s—which I’m sure we’ll get to in a bit—none offer much in the way of vegan options. Unless of course you are looking to eat the universal vegan meal: french fries. But when looking for something with a bit more substance to pre-empt your nasty hangover or to just accompany your late-night dinner cravings (some of us just get hungry later, geez!) there is Love & Haight Deli in the Lower Haight.

It’s very easy to ignore this place; I know I did for the first 1,000 times I walked by. But, once I discovered the magic within, I haven’t been able to stop eating their sandwiches. I swear, I have been to Love & Haight probably 50 times in the past two years and I have only ever ordered one thing: the “veggie chicken steak” sandwich on sourdough roll with avocado. It is a sandwich that will take you out on a date, open doors for you, give you an amazing kiss goodnight and then text you before you even have a chance to take off your shoes when you get home. It’s that good, you guys.

And (to bring it back to my original point), they’re open until 1 a.m. on weeknights and 2 a.m. on weekends. You heard me! Not only that, they have an awesome selection of beverages, chips to go with your sandwich, and for dessert, they sell Alternative Baking Company cookies! A full meal—and I don’t consider it to be a full meal until I’ve had a cookie—will set you back about $10, a reasonable amount considering the enormousness of the sandwiches.

More useful info if you don’t enjoy my life-changing prose: they very clearly mark what is and isn’t vegan on their menu, which is very helpful when choosing breads. Besides the veggie chicken steak, they have a few other fake meats on their menu, like veggie roast duck, veggie BBQ steak, and a few others, all from Layonna Vegetarian/heaven in Oakland. Unfortunately they do not offer vegan mayonnaise.

We all know Ike’s is the current king of vegan sandwiches in the Bay Area, but Love & Haight still deserves a shout-out; it will be there for you when you just want a nice warm piece of wheat gluten with half of an avocado on top of it at 1:30 in the morning.

[photo by grahamc99]

10/08/2008

Review: Ali Baba’s Cave!  »

OK, what genius/saint thought it smart to grind, spice and fry chickpeas into little fried balls of perfection? I’d like to shake that man’s hand and then possibly simulate oral sex on his fingers. Was this man Jesus himself? I’m not one to speculate on whether or not Jesus invented falafel balls but whoever did most likely can do other crazy shit like turn water into wine and start enormous holy wars based strictly on the debate of his existence. To you, sir, I say, BRAVO. I also say, PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!!!

The falafel at Ali Baba’s Cave is really very yummy and you can add fried eggplant and fried potatoes and fuck if that isn’t the trifecta of fried deliciousness. However, I’m gonna be forced to take one demerit point because these fools NEVER listen to you and I think it’s worse if you’re a woman. Listen, I understand that I’m the weaker and stupider sex,* but if I say no fucking hot sauce, I mean no fucking hot sauce this whitey will DIE. And I know you don’t value my life because I am a woman but um…I don’t know what to say. I really have no ground to stand on when who I fundamentally am is a second-class citizen at best and a wretched, whiny, bleeding, nagging, hooker beast at worst. What can you do? The falafel is REALLY good.

It’s so good, in fact, that the other night, I exited Ali Baba’s Cave on a complete falafel cloud of happiness. I was so excited and happy about everything that I yelled, “Cute dog!” to a guy and his super-cute dog as they drove by. The guy gave me a puzzled look and as he rounded the corner, I noticed that what I saw in the back seat was not in fact a dog but rather, a very old and very short lady with curly white hair. Presumably his grandmother. I am an asshole. Also, this falafel? Possibly magical as it creates illusions of the eye. Also, I am an asshole.

There are two locations for your falafel pleasures, one in the Mission and one in the Lower Haight!

*This is a proven fact. Please don’t argue with me about “Right to Vote” and “Able to Show Face Flesh in Public,” Lucy Liberal and Esther Equality. Just get back in the kitchen and finish my pot pie, bitches! And if you forget the carrots like last time, there will be hell to pay. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I will murder your whole family.

[photo via yelp]

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