Annals of animal cruelty: Maria, murdered in a drive-by  »

You see a lot of horrible things when you spend a lot of time on the internet. There’s that girl throwing puppies into a river a couple of weeks ago, factory workers torturing chickens, and this one video of Stella McCartney talking about foxes going mad at a fur farm (which I co-opted and used as my signature catchphrase during the summer of 2005. It was “This fox has gone mad!” in response to EVERYTHING, in the voice of Stella McCartney. I don’t know how I have any friends left). And we’re not even going to touch the marine tossing the puppy off the cliff. The point is, by now I’m pretty hardened; the stupid assholes on this planet rarely surprise me anymore. However, the news that some fuckheads in Santa Fe, N.M. did a drive-by on a FUCKING DWARF GOAT really upset me.

WHO DOES THAT? WHY? There are just so many questions! The Nigerian dwarf goat, MARIA, was just chilling in her front yard, minding her business, eating some grass or a delicious piece of garbage she had scavenged, and some douchebags just roll up and shoot her dead for shits and giggles. Maybe they were jealous? The Santa Fe New Mexican reports that Maria was quite popular; people from the neighborhood often came over in the evening to visit her and two goat companions, who could brighten their day with a “hello” nuzzle. Maybe they hate rescue animals? The women who owned Maria have a whole menagerie of animals they had adopted from bad situations and were giving a more awesome life. Maybe these fuckers just hated the sense of community these animals brought to the neighborhood. Coming up with reasons isn’t very productive, though. The point is, these fuckers are horrible people and while they are still at large, the Santa Fe police department is taking this very seriously and is going to bring them up on multiple charges (felonies!).

Instead of falling apart, this community has grown even tighter. Neighbors helped her owners comfort the dying Maria, and have also offered to spend time with the surviving animals. It’s just sad to think about people doing stuff like murdering innocent animals, especially since this isn’t such an uncommon occurrence. Reading some of the comments that this incident has generated around the internet reveals that using animals for target practice happens much more often than one would think, and I am heartbroken to read anecdotes about sheep being shot with crossbows from an ATV, and cows being shot at with semi-automatic weapons.

If you think I’m not being serious about this, allow me to direct you to several links that will make your blood run cold and your anger centers run red-hot:

  • Kids in England shooting at family pets with Airsoft and BB guns. This story includes a heartbreaking incident in which a terrified family cat was shot on the roof of her home.
  • Pigeon shoots! People actually trap pigeons in order to release them and IMMEDIATELY SHOOT THEM. They let the CHILDREN to MANGLE and TORTURE THE PIGEONS WHO DO NOT DIE RIGHT AWAY. Just for fun! Graphic video included.
  • Adorable young dogs were shot execution-style (between the eyes at point-blank range) and then deliberately placed their dead bodies for others to find.

I figured three links were enough, but the internet is rife with videos, photos, and articles of the horrible things people do to the animal friends and companions who are not only innocent but defenseless against the treachery of human behavior. I didn’t mean to end the post this way—it was mainly going to be just my outrage at and loathing of of Maria’s killers, but the additional links are just too much. Animal cruelty is just so incredibly wrong. Please pass that message along.


Vegansaur Maria interviewed Gabe of Cobra Starship. Important points: 1) They’re both adorable, right? and 2) Gabe is also a big ol’ vegetarian (maybe vegan?) and is pretty fucking awesome. Check out Maria’s interview with him here, and then write him many love letters, as he is super-dreamy and I’m unable to tell if he’s straight or gay or what so EVERYONE, start your engines!

Vegansaur Maria interviewed Gabe of Cobra Starship. Important points: 1) They’re both adorable, right? and 2) Gabe is also a big ol’ vegetarian (maybe vegan?) and is pretty fucking awesome. Check out Maria’s interview with him here, and then write him many love letters, as he is super-dreamy and I’m unable to tell if he’s straight or gay or what so EVERYONE, start your engines!


Animals in space, bunches of books, 1 million events, ovine poetry, the Panda Channel, AND MORE in this weekend’s link-o-rama!  »

Welcome to this weekend’s link-o-rama! This time, with images! First we have for you a ton of events, because what are you doing this weekend? Well, a whole lot NOW, right? DUH OF COURSE.

If you missed Mine when it played earlier this year, you can catch it tonight, Saturday Feb. at 7 at Hollywoof, with your dog(s)! What? OK, it’s this crazy fundraiser by Dogopolis, and actually there will be a double-feature with Sniff. If your dog is unhappy all cooped up because of the bad weather, this is how to make it up to him/her. It’s at Dogpile Dogs, 1338 Illinois St., and the doors open at 4:30 p.m.

Too much for you? Take your dog to the Grateful Dogs Rescue happy hour at Doc’s Clock (2575 Mission St. at 22nd Street) from 4 to 8 p.m. today. Proceeds will benefit Chico and Georgie of GDR.

The BAARN Activist Showcase is tonight, at the SF SPCA (243 Alabama St.) from 6 to 9. Admission is free; there will be snacks. Don’t show up too drunk after the GDR happy hour, OK? That is seriously unprofessional.

Hey South-Central Bay! The super-cool kids of the San Lorenzo Valley High School Animal Right Club are having a bakesale for Haiti on Thursday, Feb. 11 at noon on the Senior Lawn! I am being 0 percent sarcastic when I say super-cool kids, I wish we’d had an Animal Rights Club at my high schools. Good luck, SLVARC, you guys are The Best!

Everyone’s favorite CELEBRITY VEGAN CHEF Tal Ronnen will teach a course on plant-based cooking at the California Culinary Academy on Wednesday, Feb. 10 from 1 to 2:30 p.m. You can attend! RSVP by Monday (Feb. 8) to Kristin Treat. If you can’t make it, he’ll be at the Whole Foods (ugh) at 1765 California St. on Thursday, Feb. 11 from noon to 2 p.m., giving a demonstration featuring Gardein.

Vegansaurus’ beloved Rocket Dog Rescue is holding a fundraiser on Thursday, Feb. 11 at Elixir (3200 16th St. at Guerrero Street) from 9 p.m. to last call to benefit a puppy with Parvo and a puppy with a cleft palate. Per usual, there will be a raffle with terrific prizes, plus vegan cupcakes, and local cewebrity bartenders! Be there or be a big selfish jerk!!!

Check out Soul Food For Thought/The Real Roots of Liberation on Friday, Feb. 12 at the Herbst Theater (401 Van Ness Ave. at McAllister Street). It’s sponsored by the SF Vegetarian Society, In Defense of Animals, and Go Vegan Radio, and is a celebration of Black History Month and a benefit for the International Fund for Africa. Get your tickets now; get more information from Bob Linden of Go Vegan Radio.

Don’t forget, the next SF Vegan Bakesale is happening on Saturday, Feb. 13 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Ike’s (3506 16th St. at Sanchez Street)!! It’s going to be great and you know it!

And now, your weekend reading
The 2010 Big Eat SF by 7x7 magazines names eight items that are verifiably vegan, in a list of 100. I believe this is better than last year’s list, even though at least two of these items are cocktails.

The President wants to decrease farm subsidies! And increase funding to school lunch programs, using the money the government wouldn’t be subsidizing devil-companies like Monsanto and DuPont! I am dreaming, aren’t I?

The greatest nation in the history of nations, Iran, put a bunch of live animals in a rocket and shot it into space on Wednesday, because Scientific Progress. The animals include one rat, two turtles, and an undisclosed number of worms. There is no word on what will happen to the animals, but Iran is totally talking to GOD, so that’s all right.

The Manolo tells Kanye and his incoherent “defense” of wearing fur to shut it.

Boldtype makes a (non-comprehensive) list of fictional works with animal points of view.

One of Vegansaurus’ founding editors returned to her hippie college for hippies this week! We’re so proud of her! We also hope she gets lots of use out of PETA’s Vegan College Cookbook, which apparently makes copious use of the microwave. One of my worst cooking-related college memories involves tacos and a grease fire; one of my best involves a vegan pineapple upside-down cake. Tell us your college cooking stories, please! If you are not yet in college, Vegansaurus does not advocate your reading so many swears. KIDDING! Swears are the best.

This is not news but we never mentioned it so: Thailand has a Panda Channel, and you can watch it online on Lin Ping’s homepage. You’ll probably need a fix since China repossessed Butterstick on Thursday.

Blue whales have changed their songs. Apparently they’re singing lower, which makes the reporter anthropomorphize them into Barry White-style manly men who are more potent and way more into boning than they used to be. Nice one, LA Times.

Valerie Laws is a poet who has spray-painted the words of a sheep-related poem onto the backs of actual sheep. Then the sheep wander around and inadvertently create new poems. Because sheep don’t have to put up with enough stupid shit from humans.

SFGate launched a Bay Area food carts feature this week, using Google Maps and Twitter. Social media! Obnoxious nouns! Honestly though this seems fairly useful, at least for those of you who don’t already know how to track your favorite food carts online. FYI: we love Bike Basket Pies and Banh Mai.

The Humane Society is currently taking entries for its annual Spay Day contest. Enter your pet and get everyone you’ve ever connected with to vote for it. Each vote costs $1 and all proceeds go to charities chosen by the human companions of the pets you vote for.

Jonathan Kauffman of SFoodie says that unpaid food writers can be excellent critics, too, as long as they hold themselves to the same ethical standards as big-time food writers. Thanks, JKauff; we do try over here.

The European Union is looking to list bluefin tuna on the endangered species Appendix 1, which includes “pandas and some whales;” this would “effectively ban international trade in the fish,” because there are so few of them. Nice job, sushi-lovers. Though should we say, nice job fish-eaters the world over: there is no such thing as sustainable fish at all! Yeah, a total lie.

Aw, has anyone seen Orion Levine’s missing ant, Ant?

Remember that big exposé of the Bushway slaughterhouse by HSUS in November? Three months later, absolutely nothing has happened. Awesome show, great job, USDA!


Recipe: Tempting Tempeh! I know, the name is amazing. Came up with it myself! Believe it!  »

This recipe is actually almost a direct rip-off of one from Lisa Jervis’ STELLAR cookbook, Cook Food (BUY IT). This recipe goes out to everyone who thinks they don’t like tempeh (I too was non-believer at one point! Now I’m straight speaking in tongues on tempeh’s ass!) and for those Vegansaurus editors who are going back to school at Oberlin and need something to cook up for their vegan co-op kitchens. You can eat this right before you have group sex in a hot tub. Bring your banjo and some Rilke and IT’S A PARTY!


You need:
•    2 8-oz. bags of tempeh
•    1/4 cup nutritional yeast
•    1/3 cup soy sauce (if you can do this half and half with a vegan Worcestershire sauce, all the better! If you’re feeling the co-op love, throw in a spray or two of Braggs animo acids)
•    2 Tbs. onion powder
•    2 Tbs. garlic powder
•    throw in some herbs if you’re feeling fancy
•    couple dashes of paprika if you got it
•    peanut oil to fry in (sesame oil and olive oil work well too!)

You do:
Cut the tempeh into bite-sized pieces and then steam it for about 20 minutes. While it’s steaming, combine all the other ingredients except for the oil. Then take the tempeh out and coat it in your mixture; it should cake on. Fry that shit up in your oil of choice until it’s nice and crispy on all sides. Serve over whatever, probably brown rice if you’re in a co-op. HIPPIES, AM I RIGHT??

Photo from adaenn!

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