vegansaurus!

09/30/2010

Drown your end-of-coupon-days sorrows TONIGHT at SF Vegan Drinks!  »

Yes, it’s the last coupon day at Rainbow, ever. You were already planning to camp out in line from dawn till dusk to save 20 percent off a barrel of flax seed oil, so why not follow it up by drinking the pain away at SF Vegan Drinks? Or show up early, and drunk-shop for the final two hours of crazy. And speaking of drink specials, I hear we have those? Here are the details, from Lyndsay (who said “hi” as I walked by on Valencia Street yesterday and didn’t realize until it was too late who it was SORRY LYNDSAY I THINK YOU’RE GREAT I AM JUST BLIND):

Just a heads up that the September installment of Vegan Drinks is Thursday, Sept. 30 at Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market). This a fantastic chance to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials—this month: $5 Rock Sake Pomegranate Lemonade Martinis—a host of non-alcoholic beverage options, and all-you-can-eat vegan hot dogs and popcorn!

A representative of Rock Sake will be joining us and will provide a variety of free samples. Looking forward to seeing you! 

Here’s the thing. Coupon day is hell, but 20 percent off everything you could ever want has been hard to pass up. I hate waiting in lines, and I complain bitterly about it, but I’ll also miss getting all that free stuff without having to shoplift. Not that I would ever shoplift from Rainbow in a million years. There’s a lot of love in the people who make that grocery store happen, and they’re still worker-owned; how great is that? While other people are busy with wage theft and exploiting immigrant labor, places like Rainbow give me hope for humanity. 

Also giving me hope/dulling my hopelessness for humanity: drinking. SF Vegan Drinks is sponsored by Vegansaurus and VegNews, and we’ll be there tonight! So show up! At Martuni’s! From 6 to 8 p.m.! Sí se puede!

08/26/2010

Late-breaking news: SF Vegan Drinks is TONIGHT!  »

Because by “late-breaking” we actually mean “late.” But everything is always more exciting when it’s “breaking” so let’s go with it. BREAKING! You’re canceling your plans (read: Netflix Roulette), hiring the dogsitter, and going to SF Vegan Drinks. Happy summer everyone! It’s over. So let’s drown our fogged-over sorrows after a solid half-week of “layers? who wears layers? not this vegan!” by drinking Berry Harvest martinis, grown and harvested somewhere sunny by even sunnier underpaid immigrant labor. (kidding! Berry-picking for $2 an hour is the American Dream. And kids love it.) SF Vegan Drinks is, as always, sponsored by your Vegansaurus, and by VegNews, who brings you this important message:

Just a heads up that the August installment of Vegan Drinks is tonight Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market). Come on out to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (This Month: $5 vegan Berry Harvest martinis) and a host of non-alcoholic beverage options!

We’ll also be cooking up some more vegan hot dogs. For only 98 cents a piece, you can satisfy your after-work hunger. There will also be all the vegan popcorn you can eat!

This is btw all lies, because I “can” eat a fuckton of popcorn. And a fuckton of just about anything else, even though we’re all secretly anorexics with latent foie gras desires. So join the rest of us at the hot dog/popcorn feeding trough from 6 to 8 p.m. tonight. I’ll be the one not wearing a name tag. Again.

07/28/2010

SF Vegan Drinks is tomorrow night!  »

It’s already the end of July, and you live in San Francisco, so bundle up in your best summer hats and scarves (and snow fog pants) because it’s time yet again for SF Vegan Drinks, sponsored as always by your Vegansaurus. (Are we really making small talk about the weather? Yes in fact we are. Because IT’S FUCKING FREEZING. AND IT’S JULY. FUCK YOU SAN FRANCISCO. I STILL LOVE YOU BUT YOUR FOG-SNUGGIE OF MISERY AND DAMP CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF.) Still confused? Here’s Lyndsay’s fashionable press release to smooth it all over:

Just a heads up that the July installment of Vegan Drinks is Thursday, July 29 at Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market). Not only is this a fantastic chance to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (this month: $5 Ketel One-Orange vegan creamsicle martini), a host of non-alcoholic beverage options, and all-you-can-eat vegan hot dogs and popcorn, you can support a local non-profit as well!

This month, we’re raffling off a dozen cinnamon rolls from Cinnaholic, and all money goes to Toni’s Kitty Rescue. Don’t miss your chance to win these sweet treats! Raffle tickets are $1 each.

What the—hot dogs, cinnamon rolls, and kittens? I’m almost certain that’s what heaven looks like. You’ll also get a chance to meet the whole Vegansaurus crew, or maybe some of us, or, let’s be realistic, probably none of us. Life is all one big gamble, and you never know what you’re going to get. It’s like playing Monte Carlo around here. Or, a bit more like Artichoke Joe’s. We at least won’t make off with your Social Security check. Vegan Drinks goes from 6 to 8 p.m. so if you find a tux rental with hourly rates, you’ll have plenty leftover from that check for cat food. Not for you, for all the new kittens you’re going to adopt from Toni! We’re already so helpful, getting you started early on the senior gambling debts/crazy-cat-lady aesthetic.

06/23/2010

SF Vegan Drinks is tomorrow night!  »

It’s almost the end of June, and you know that means: new iPhone release day! Which means (a) you’re going to need a stiff drink (or 10) after standing in line for seven hours to get your very own shiny love-brick from The Future; or (b) you’re going to need a stiff drink (or 10) to wash away the memory of stabbing/dumping the body of your coworker who wouldn’t STFU about a friggin’ phone that they stood in line like a fool for seven hours to get. What I’m saying is, you live in San Francisco, the world capital of unhealthy technology addiction, and it’s practically guaranteed that you will be one of these two people by tomorrow night. Either way the solution is the same: drink the pain away. Hence, SF Vegan Drinks, sponsored as always by your Vegansaurus. Take it away, Lyndsay’s press release:

Just a heads up that the June installment of Vegan Drinks is Thursday, June 24 at Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market). Come on out to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (This Month: $5 Strawberry and Summer Citrus Martinis) and a host of non-alcoholic beverage options!

We didn’t want to pass on a good thing, so this month, we’ll be cooking up some more vegan hot dogs. For only 98 cents a piece, you can satisfy your after-work hunger. You may just want to have two!

Only two? At 98 cents, start training now for the hot dog competitive eating contest, because this month, it’s happening for reals even if I’m the only contestant. As always, Vegan Drinks goes from 6 to 8 p.m., plenty of time to drink too many $5 Strawberry and Summer Citrus Martinis and make confessional video calls to your exes. The future is already so bright.

05/26/2010

SF Vegan Drinks is tomorrow night!  »

Steamed about missing Millennium’s Southern Comfort Dinner tonight? Well eff that noise anyway, because (a) you’re probably broke and (b) this month’s Vegan Drinks will be featuring vegan Root Beer Floats (alcoholic, obviously (and also: !!!!!)) and a reprise of hangover-preventing Turtle Island vegan hot dogs (I say again: !!!!!). Vegansaurus is an official sponsor of SF Vegan Drinks, and we’ll be eating/drinking our weight in the aforementioned delights. More details from the SF Vegan Drinks HQ compound mothership:

Just a heads up that the May installment of Vegan Drinks is Thursday, May 27 at Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market). Come on out to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (This Month: $5 vegan Root Beer Floats) and a host of non-alcoholic beverage options!

We didn’t want to pass on a good thing, so this month, we’ll be cooking up some more vegan hot dogs donated by Turtle Island. For only 98 cents a piece, you can satisfy your after-work hunger. You may just want to have two!

Everyone is invited, even Ike’s neighbors! We’ll settle our differences over a round of vegan hot dogs/spin-the-bottle while we fondly remember a simpler time when the biggest neighborhood problem was the pounding rave beneath your floorboards. In all seriousness, if you hate my guts for siding with the groovy sandwich dude who’s been making your life a living hell, stop on by. I’ll buy you a drink, and we can get all “I LOVE YOU MAN” before I realize you keyed my car on the way in. Just don’t pull anything; my Krav Maga skills are unparalleled.

Did I mention it was from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.? No? Well now I did. 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.!

04/28/2010

SF Vegan Drinks is tomorrow night! Leave the house, lazies!  »

Tear yourself away from Veronica Mars reruns on iTunes tomorrow night (and by “tear yourself away” I mean “Steve. FFS. Tear yourself away from Veronica Mars reruns for JUST ONE NIGHT what the hell is your problem.” And while we’re on the subject, why no Veronica Mars on Instant Netflix? And why no Buffy seasons 3 through 7 on iTunes? What’s up, internet?) because Vegan Drinks is getting us ready for summer: $2 Tofurkey hot dogs, $5 poached pear martinis, and drinking way too much and stumbling home without a jacket because you left it at Martuni’s. Also warm-weather themed? Cutting and pasting press releases:

Just a heads-up that the April installment of Vegan Drinks is this Thursday at Martuni’s (Valencia @ Market Streets). Not only is this a fantastic chance to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (this month: $5 Poached Pear Martinis) and a host of non-alcoholic beverage options, you can eat your share of vegan hot dogs!

This month, we’ll be cooking up some Tofurky hot dogs in honor of the warming weather! Hot dogs will cost $2, and buns, ketchup, and mustard will be included. Can’t wait to see you there!

Vegansaurus is an official sponsor of SF Vegan Drinks, so get down there early to line up for autograph-signing with your favorite Vegansaur/buying us Tofurkey dogs! It’s from 6 to 8 p.m. tomorrow! Tip your server! Don’t drink and drive! Etc.!

03/23/2010

Sf Vegan Drinks is THIS THURSDAY! It’s on like Donkey Kong!  »

Almost entirely copied from the press release because I have a real job and don’t have all day to sit around being amazing for you SHIT.

Just a heads-up that the March installment of SF Vegan Drinks is THIS Thursday, Mar. 25 from 6 to 8 p.m. at Martuni’s (4 Valencia St. at Market Street). Not only is this a fantastic chance to mingle with other interesting vegans while enjoying drink specials (This month: $5 Peach Melba Martinis (!!!) and a host of non-alcoholic beverage options, you can support a local non-profit as well!
This month, we’re raffling off a dozen cupcakes from Fat Bottom Bakery, and all money goes to the Food Empowerment Project (check out that gorgeous new website!). Don’t miss your chance to win these sweet treats! Raffle tickets are $1 each.

Vegansaurus is an official sponsor of SF Vegan Drinks, so get your ass out there to meet and greet with us and buy us drinks and possibly get a lap dance ON THE HOUSE.*

*Lap dances cost $20. NO TOUCHING. Always tip your dancer.

01/12/2010

AWESOME ANNOUNCEMENT: We’re co-hosting SF Vegan Drinks with VegNews! Ow!  »

SO YOU GUYS. We’re very extremely excited to be co-hosting SF Vegan Drinks with the awesome people at VegNews. THIS LITTLE DINO IS MOVIN ON UP! To a place with more alcohol! Dreams do come true!

This month’s installment of SF Vegan Drinks is Thursday, Jan. 28 from 6 to 8 p.m. at Martuni’s (YES! LOVE THAT PLACE AND YOU KNOW YOU DO TOO, YOU OLD QUEEN!)! In addition to drink specials and schmoozing with other sexy vegans, we’ll be holding a raffle to win a dozen cinnamon rolls from Cinnaholic (um, their shit is OFF THE HOOK) and all of the proceeds will go to LGBT Compassion. Oh also, there is a drink special and it’s a VEGAN PINA COLADA! These are a rare breed and VERY delicious. We’ll be in the corner downing a few dozen.

I’m gonna break it down for you. This event involves alcohol, a piano bar, cinnamon rolls, and being awesome. There might even be a stripper. Ask me about this when I’m like eight drinks in. Code phrase? “It’s cookie time.” BA NUH NUH NUH NUH! Also, I might just leave to buy cookies! It’s a most delicious game of Russian roulette!

08/26/2009

SF Vegan Drinks are tomorrow!  »

SF Vegan Drinks is tomorrow (Aug. 27th), from 6 to 8 p.m. at Martuni’s! Yes! AND they’ll be selling raffle tickets for $1 each. The prize is a gift certificate to a delicious SF veg restaurant (this month it’s Golden Era! CARAMELIZED CHICKEN I WILL EAT YOU) and the proceeds go to charity; both the restaurant and charity will vary monthly. The charity this month is San Francisco Vegetarian Society! See you there, party people! Ow!

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