vegansaurus!

03/06/2012

I have a confession to make, and I’m going to do it here. This is a safe forum to express my innermost desires, isn’t it? Here’s the deal: I’ve gone Chicken-less Nugget crazy. I haven’t been eating them constantly, but I think about them all the time. I’ve gone so far as to look at pictures of them on the internet. Boy, do I wish I was kidding.
These are homemade “chicken” nuggets! Don’t they look delicious? We can all thank cookbook author and blogger Joanna Vaught, who created the recipe for the seitan nuggets pictured above. Are you so excited to make these? I am! Joanna also does a nutritional comparison of McDonald’s nuggets, Health Is Wealth nuggets, and her seitan nuggets on the blog post! So informative and organized!
*This fixation is totally stemming from the fact that the SOMA Trader Joe’s doesn’t carry the chicken-less Mandarin orange morsels. It’s a travesty! This makes me obsessive sad because it is the most convenient Trader Joe’s for me to frequent.
[Photo courtesy of joannavaught.com]

I have a confession to make, and I’m going to do it here. This is a safe forum to express my innermost desires, isn’t it? Here’s the deal: I’ve gone Chicken-less Nugget crazy. I haven’t been eating them constantly, but I think about them all the time. I’ve gone so far as to look at pictures of them on the internet. Boy, do I wish I was kidding.

These are homemade “chicken” nuggets! Don’t they look delicious? We can all thank cookbook author and blogger Joanna Vaught, who created the recipe for the seitan nuggets pictured above. Are you so excited to make these? I am! Joanna also does a nutritional comparison of McDonald’s nuggets, Health Is Wealth nuggets, and her seitan nuggets on the blog post! So informative and organized!

*This fixation is totally stemming from the fact that the SOMA Trader Joe’s doesn’t carry the chicken-less Mandarin orange morsels. It’s a travesty! This makes me obsessive sad because it is the most convenient Trader Joe’s for me to frequent.

[Photo courtesy of joannavaught.com]

02/25/2011

Oatmeal, obese monkeys, and breast-milk ice cream in this week’s link-o-rama!  »


First, and most important! IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday TO ME! You can thank my parents for their gift to the world.


[Latest documentary/cartoon from Cats Vs Human. What if I just call cartoons “documentaries” from now on? And phone calls will be “radio interviews”!]

They are selling breast-milk ice cream in London. BREAST-MILK ICE CREAM. While I’d rather die than eat breast-milk ice cream (right now I’d rather die than move, though), I’m in full support of this because it’s hilarious and brightens my world. Well Ok, I think maybe I’d try breast-milk ice cream for like $20,000. But is it going to pull in weird fetishists? Survey says: Probs.

Hey! Did you know that the SF SPCA appointed new presidents last month? Yes, more than one president! Two presidents—they’re calling it Four-Legged Leadership! One a super-savvy business man and the other a genius veterinarian. 

Jerk scientists are getting poor monkeys fat and not letting them exercise, because we definitely can’t find any people like that to test on. The New York Times will tell you all about it!

PCRM is suing the federal government because the new nutrition guidelines are crap! They don’t like the “doublespeak” and “mumbo jumbo” the USDA uses when it should be calling out meat and dairy. I have a bone to pick with them too! Three servings of dairy, really? REALLY? CRAP!

UNC and Duke have picked Eating Animals as their summer reading requirement! I was supposed to read the biography of George Washington. Definitely did that. 

From Mark Bittman, we have the most in-depth discussion of oatmeal I’ve ever seen! Specifically, oatmeal from McDonald’s: “Incredibly, the McDonald’s product contains more sugar than a Snickers bar and only 10 fewer calories than a McDonald’s cheeseburger or Egg McMuffin. (Even without the brown sugar it has more calories than a McDonald’s hamburger.)” Yowza!

Do you have a vegan tattoo? A tattoo with vegan subject matter? Super! Submit it to new website veganink.com and let’s get this party started!

Over at veganbaking.net, you can read an interview with Cinnaholic’s Shannon Michelle! Read all about how Cinnaholic came together and get advice for your own vegan baking biz! Can we all agree that Shannon Michelle is dead-sexy?!

The veggie internet has been a buzz about this story from Yahoo sports Vegetarianism is all the rage in MMA! That’s ultimate fighting. It’s a sport. I guess.

There was a big earthquake in New Zealand! The Search Dog Foundation is on the case! New Zealand has its own dogs but the SDF’s training leader is going over to help with the search and rescue. We wish them the best of luck! Be safe and save people!

Lastly, don’t forget about the East Bay Vegan Bakesale tomorrow! Get treats, get pudgy!

09/15/2010

PCRM’s ad campaign: Science says Big Macs are nasty!  »

[can’t see the video? watch it at vegansaurus.com!]

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine* (PCRM) released the above commercial totally and morbidly dissing McDonald’s after a recent study they conducted shows just how unhealthy McDonald’s food is. And McDonald’s is pissed!:

This commercial is outrageous, misleading and unfair to all consumers. McDonald’s trusts our customers to put such outlandish propaganda in perspective, and to make food and lifestyle choices that are right for them.

Outrageous and outlandish? Them’s fightin’ words! But PCRM’s findings are pretty scary. The Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese has 42 grams of fat, 740 calories, 155 milligrams of cholesterol, and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. HOLY CRAP! Check out that sodium number! Good lord. Even the sweetly permissive USDA only recommends up to 2,300 milligrams of sodium per day, and that’s counting foods with naturally occurring sodium (although mostly those are dairy products, ew).

Other people are backing McDonald’s in this time of need, including the Wall Street Journal community. So far, 54 percent of them say the ad is unfair! Wah! BTW, I say we go over and vote. Give them some perspective! Our Meave had a few words to say in response to this:

Of course the WSJ crowd is voting it “unfair”; readers of the WSJ are [stereotypically] super-capitalist, super-individualist Randies who’d be libertarians if they weren’t so into government breaks for big corporations. “We are responsible for our own decisions,” says a commenter, as though anyone can make a good decision without pertinent information. UGH.

Besides, this Question of the Day isn’t asking, “Is McDonald’s responsible for all heart disease, ever?” or “Should the government expand healthcare to cover people who ONLY EAT MCDONALD’S BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID POOR FATTY FAT FATS WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER?” It’s an AD CAMPAIGN. And one might think that WSJ readers, being on the whole very staunchly pro-business, would support the right of an organization to run whatever ad campaign it so chose. I suppose that when that ad campaign comes into conflict with the interests of a major international corporation, WSJ readers would rather see the big, profitable corporation continue to dominate.

Everyone’s favorite, Eater, had a bit to say in McDonald’s defense, calling the ad “a crazy new commercial” by PCRM, adding that

PCRM is known for their somewhat insane vegan agenda—back in May, they wrote a press release advising KFC to follow the same guidelines the FDA sets out for tobacco producers and not advertise near schools and put a warning label on Double Downs. In this this ad, they recommend “Tonight, make it vegetarian.”

Somewhat insane vegan agenda? Duck and cover! But then the example they give sounds very sane to me, considering another study showing how fast-food chains target children and then feed them horrible crap.

Now, if you are a vegan anything like me, you love your vegan cupcakes and vegan fried food. It’s like we always say, vegan doesn’t equal healthy. But we’re not talking about cupcakes; we’re talking about POISON. Remember Super Size Me? This stuff will kill you! And the main difference is that they don’t want to tell you. Vegansaur Jordan was just saying the other day that she will tell you in plain language that her vegan cupcakes are far from vitamin bars. And if PCRM wants you to know about the nutrition information of McDonald’s food and its ramifications on your health, what is so “unfair” about that?

*Disclosure: Our Laura has worked on contract for PCRM in the past.

05/21/2010

Meat fights, meat deaths, milk pants, murder and MORE in today’s link-o-rama!  »

It’s funny when gross people things affect animals! Especially when the animals behave in a manner that reminds people of themselves! HA HA HA. [Image from the Daily Telegraph]

Fun-times vegan-related events!
Anyone going to the Maker Faire this weekend? It runs Saturday 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Sunday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the San Mateo County Event Center, and it looks intense. Tickets cost $25 per day but probably it’s worth it for the food events alone—classes on kimchi, spicy pickles, tofu, hooch, and “growing sprouts and baby greens with and without soil.” Skip the bacon, butchery and butter classes and make it a super-productive vegan weekend.

Have you made reservations for Millennium’s Southern Comfort Dinner? It’s on Monday, what is wrong with you? Anyway, there are other fancy/fun/delicious events happening at Millennium soon if you miss this.

Ultra-veg/etari/an(?) spokesdude Paul McCartney will play at AT&T Park on July 10, tickets for which will go on sale on Monday, May 24. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

News items of varying degrees of interest!
"Famous" "person" Bethenny of The Real Housewives of New York, official naked lady for PETA, has an entire "vegetarian" recipes section on her website. I don’t believe she eats, personally, but it’s fun to pretend she cares about anything besides her “personal brand,” right?

Danger of an E. coli outbreak caused the recall of 53,000 pounds of ground beef this week. Whoops, we have no regard for animal or human safety! And yet nearly 74 percent of federal food subsidies go toward “meat” and “dairy” production. No, it makes sense.

Breaking news! The government is moving Plum Island to Kansas! “Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & Mouth disease could wipe out the nation’s entire stock of cow anus parts used to make Fast Food Hamburgers?… It’s a great idea, if you want to kill off about 95 percent of Americans by poisoning their Extra Value Meals with weapons-grade Human Brucellosis-HIV.” That’s your agriculture, motherfuckers.

Oh and did we mention that pesticides have been linked to ADHD? And not like that inoculations = autism lie—for real. Not that all organic farmers are fucking angels, Guinness McFadden of McFadden Farm in Mendocino County, animal-torturer.

See, it’s the repeated murder of animals as a job that can turn a person criminally violent. Sorry, workers on slaughterhouse kill floors! Your job is ruining you. Science also says that eating bacon on the regular will in fact kill the hell out of you, a lot quicker than, say, bacon on the never. Excuse me, I have to take an extra-strength vitamin DUH.

When even the Daily Mail is calling out McDonald’s U.K. for purchasing chickens who had shitty, nightmare lives in Argentina, one might think a change is on the horizon. For example, Mario Batali, who loves preparations of dead pig more than life itself, now advocates Meatless Mondays. On the other hand, two Portland bros got into a fistfight over the origin of the breed of pigs they had killed and were cooking for some kind of gruesome contest. Seriously, all you need to see are the hilarious douchey photos, as reading the article may send you into a fit of rage. Because they were fighting over THE DEAD PIGS. Animal-husbandry chauvinism, fuck yeah.

Now what about Trader Joe’s—is it really an “eco-friendly” company? The Utne Reader feels conflicted on the issues (read: negative). Our other favorite grocery chain is now expanding its vegan options! But this stuff won’t be labeled “vegan” because that word’s for terrorists, so look for "Health Starts Here" signs on the new products instead. Also they’re endorsing that “Engine 2 Diet,” which according to your Vegansaur Steve is “Skinny Bitch for the hegan set,” so hooray! but also UGH. No, nothing is ever good enough, ever.

Especially not MILK SHORTS, meant to be worn while you sleep to decrease the visibility of your cellulite, you fat fuck. Abbie is disgusted and SO ARE WE. If you have insanator links that we should feature here, send them in, please.

Wonkabout features “healthy” restaurants in D.C., meaning “places that serve lots of tofu and vegetables.” Generalizations aside, they all sound pretty good.

More locally, law enforcement officials have trained a “marine mammal team”—comprising two sea lions and a dolphin—to both spot “suspicious divers” and apprehend them using a leg cuff. What is this I don’t even.

In non-manipulative awesome-nature news, coral larvae bodily listen (as in, with more than just ear-style parts) for places to colonize, and choose where to go based on positive sounds, like whatever the sounds of a solid, secure reef are. Of course, people fucking around in the oceans are ruining all this for them. Less depressingly, red-eyed tree frogs conduct bum-vibration duels in the nighttime. The aggression of tiny, adorable animals is so hard to take seriously.

Back to sad: commercial agriculture is killing all the bees. Neat! Let’s read this article and be depressed. Then let’s click on Bunneh Roulette for a while to dull the pain.

If you wanted to buy produce just like Annie Sommerville of Greens, 7x7 wants to help you. Maybe you could buy similar stuff from Hayes Valley Farm—it’s flourishing these days. Or construct your own rooftop garden, like these dudes in Chicago. Former Greens chef Deborah Madison has a new cookbook out, called Seasonal Fruit Desserts. Her Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone is genius and I fully expect this fruit venture to be excellent as well.

03/01/2010

01/04/2010

70 percent of Hamburgers are possibly unsafe, definitely disgusting  »

There’s a saying that you should always release bad news on Friday, when no one is paying attention. And when you have REALLY bad news, save it until the end of the year. And when your news is that 70 percent of the nation’s hamburgers, served by McDonald’s and the National School Lunch Program (NSLP), are unsafe and possibly filled with E. coli, even after getting pumped full of ammonia? Then you save that sheeze till the last day of the decade.

A New York Times report, politely titled "Safety of Beef Processing Method Is Questioned" (translation from journo-speak: WTF BEEF IS SO FUCKED), reveals that the ammonia process used by Beef Products, Inc. is not only letting E. coli slip through, but that the U.S. Department of Agriculture believes that the process is safe enough to exempt Beef Products, Inc. from inspections. So it’s not only unsafe but the government is taking their word for it because they triple pinky swear promise that it’s OK and corporations never lie, especially not in their own self-published reports.

The idea behind the process is to scoop up fatty slaughterhouse floor leftovers (you know, the kind they usually throw away or dump in dog food), separate the protein from the fat in a centrifuge, squeeze it through tubes, spray it with ammonia, then flash-freeze and compress the final goop. If everything worked, the company believes that the end product will be fully sanitized and free of contaminants like E. coli and salmonella. Normally, slaughterhouse scraps are especially prone to contaminants, but the resulting filler meat is so cheap and “safe” that it’s good enough for McDonald’s and the NSLP.

Forget for a minute if the process works or not. Even if it was 100 percent perfect, YOU’RE EATING MEAT SOAKED IN AMMONIA. Seriously, who cares if it works or not. Nothing I eat needs to be soaked in ammonia to kill it even more after it’s already dead.

And after watching the clip above of the Beef Products, Inc. factory tour, I’m no longer worried about whether or not the American public will accept lab-grown meat as hamburger filler. They will. Squeeze it through tubes into flash-frozen pink slabs and no one will bat an eyelash.

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