vegansaurus!

09/28/2010

Advertising beat: McDonald’s is for Old Spice-lovers, please  »


[can’t see the video? watch it on vegansaurus.com!]

Since our sneakers correspondent is also our crack advertising reporter, and that Megan Rascal is still gallivanting about Europe, we’re on the advertising beat today! This 30-second spot hasn’t aired on U.S. television yet, but presumably it will, considering how hard commercial media want us to admire/be/get wet for dudes who do Manly Things. The manliest thing a man has ever done, of course, is stuffed some meat down his gullet. Also, the voiceover guy has an “American” accent, and you know ‘murrican Manly Men don’t respond to “foreign” voices—unless they’re selling “foreign” products, like Dos Equis beer, or Grey Poupon mustard.

Obviously McDonald’s can’t pretend their products are anything but chemically enhanced food-like substances, so now they’re making an appeal to the same people Manly Men who are all about smelling like Old Spice and bringing back chivalry. Cool idea, so original! You all are the smartest ever. Maybe it’s all the sodium that reminds you, a Manly Man, of your innate responsibility to open doors for Ladies. Maybe it’s the weird dairy products in the processed cheese-food that give you super-strong hands!* Or maybe all that gnarly cholesterol is actually brain food, and BAM you can fix cars you’ve never even seen before! Honestly, we have no idea; as vegans, we’ll never eat that much cholesterol, and most of your Vegansaurus was born XX, so we’re doubly stupid about the wondrous effects of McDonald’s on Manly (Omnivorous) Men.

Has anyone is Australia seen this commercial yet? Does it make you want to puke as much as we wanted to when we watched it? This play-pretend admiration of the super-fixed gender roles of the last century is unbelievably fucking stupid—it’s not even a binary!—and emphasizing its importance is pathetic. We are moving on from “Manly,” and we’re moving on from McDonald’s. If you want to make it in this century, you’d better evolve, you creeps.

*Note to fellow homo sapiens without much hand strength: wrap a rubber band around the lid of the jar. That provides much more traction than those ridiculous rubber opener-things and you can leave it on the jar for future use. It is brilliant and amazing and another small way of maintaining your independence.

07/24/2009

Friday Link-o-rama: Veggie Awards, Naked Dudes, The Tofu Xpress & More!  »

IMPORTANT: The VegNews polls close at 11:59 p.m. on July 31, and we want you to write Vegansaurus in for Best Veg Blog! Also, win prizes. Yes! Time to root for the Underdino! If there are any prizes, we’ll totally share.

Veggie Trader provides free classifieds for home-grown produce! People like Meave’s parents, who have uncontrollably prolific orange and peach trees, should really get in on this. The site expressly prohibits the trade of meat, eggs, and dairy products (yes!), and Californians must obey both statewide import laws and quarantine orders for the light brown apple moth.

Ezra Klein is PISSED about how cheap chicken is; <3 that Ezra Klein.

Factory farms are all, We are beneficial to rural communities! And small farmers are all, Actually the stench from your animal torture chambers is poisoning our air, and the runoff is poisoning our water! Amazingly, courts are siding with the small farmers.

Men can get naked for animal rights, too!

The New York Times gives you 101 simple salads, in neat little categories. Nos. 1-36 are “mostly vegan.” Incidentally, Synergia Soyfoods makes this scrumptious vegan feta cheese that tastes so authentic that the first time I ate it I teared up with joy, if you are looking to make salads that ask for such an ingredient.

The Times also presents the crème brûlée cart guy as Mr. Small Business Twitter San Francisco. Vegansaurus strenuously objects to such representation.

The Long Now Foundation! (est. 01996) is hosting a seminar with the authors of Tomorrow’s Table: Organic Farming, Genetics, and the Future of Food. They both teach at UC Davis—an excellent school!—and are married, which makes this lecture sound even more appealing. Go learn something on Tuesday, July 28 at 7:30 p.m. at the Cowell Theater; tickets are $10.

Vinnie’s Pizzeria in Williamsburg has awesome vegan by the slice. AND THIS TRASH CAN. SO AWESOME. Here is a photo of Laura eating vegan pizza at Vinnie’s. If that doesn’t get your motor running, I don’t know what will. Laura wrote this.

So, gianty meaty soups. Campbell’s Chunky: FULLY LOADED is over one pound of “meat” and whatever the hell else, vegetables, say; the Pho Gardens CHALLENGE BOWL is two pounds of noodles with two pounds of “beef with tripe.” In general, the world is fucking disgusting, NEVER FORGET.

Vegan.com discusses the extinction of Bluefin Tuna. SO SAD PLEASE STOP EATING FISH.

The Tofu Xpress, an amazing new gadget that helps make tofu even more delicious, gets a review over at Notes from a Vegan Feast. What have you done for Vegansaurus lately? THE ANSWER: Bought us this miracle-worker! Please! You’re so wonderful, that’s the thing about you. SO GIVING.

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