Who’s gonna die of heart disease? People who eat lots of meaty meat meat full of carnitine, the wickedest amino acid that goes crazy in your intestines and hardens your arteries. “[T]he more you eat red meat … the more you develop this bacteria, which then develops this harmful metabolite, so it really is sort of a snowballing effect.” This study compared red meat-eaters to vegetarians and vegans, and the non-meat-eaters came out with “very little of this bacteria, and very little of this effect.”
You want nice useful arteries? Stop eating meat. Duh.
(Source: The Wall Street Journal)
Today in obvious news: Red meat is totally going to kill you »
Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health say: eating red meat increases your chances of dying! A study, “Red Meat Consumption and Mortality,” published this week in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found that even one serving of red meat a day makes you 13 percent likelier to die sooner than those of us eating less meat. Moreover, eating one daily serving of processed meat increases that number to 20 percent. Meat’s gonna kill you!
Neither research fellow and study author An Pan, nor professor of nutrition and epidemiology and fellow author Frank Hu, advocate a 100 percent meatless diet. Pan tells CNN that “It’s better to go with plants and unprocessed foods,” while Hu tells NPR that though “the results are staggering … we’re not talking about a vegetarian diet.” Maybe you should! It’s not hard, it’s really not. And it’s obviously so much better for you.
My theory: Eating too much meat makes you stupid. Check out what Betsey Booren, director of scientific affairs for the American Meats Institute Foundation (too many nouns, friends), said to NPR to illustrate why the AMI “disputes” the findings that processed meat products are terrible: “They’re made from meat, which is needed in the body.” Oh, Betsey. Thank you for your brilliant insight.
Let’s eat and drink and live forever! »
Killer news, you guys: a longterm study of nearly 130,000 people found that those participants eating lower-carbohydrate, higher-protein diets in which the protein and fats came from plant sources were overall healthier and lived longer. Moreover, the study “confirmed a ‘direct association’ between animal-based low-carbohydrate food intake in men and increased cancer deaths, particularly from colorectal and lung cancer. That association aligns with previous studies that have confirmed a link between red meat, processed meat, and those two types of cancers.” Whoops! Enjoy that bacon, hope you don’t mind dying at 50.
The National Institutes of Health funded the study, which began following 85,186 women in 1980 and 44,548 men in 1986. The vegetable-protein-eaters ate more whole grains and drank more alcohol—color your Vegansaurus surprised—while the animal-protein-eaters were more likely to smoke. And yes, the study took more “positive” lifestyle factors into account as well, like vitamins and exercise; our people still outlived the death-eaters.
This coincides nicely with what Nation’s Restaurant News reports as one of fall’s big trends: VEGETABLES! Everyone’s crazy about vegetables, and not just because they are so damn delicious! Did you know that “[p]rotein production uses many more resources and generates much more waste than vegetable production”? You guys, they’re learning and mending their ways! “John Fraser, the executive chef at Dovetail in New York City, introduced meatless Mondays earlier this year and has come to enjoy focusing on cooking vegetables so much that he said he is toying with the idea of opening an all-vegetarian restaurant.”
That brings a tear to my eye, it absolutely does. Science keeps supporting our choices, and chefs are backing us up with more cruelty-free dishes. Lucky us; when we do end up living to ridiculously old age, we’ll always be able to eat well.
Of course the interpreters of the study go on to recommend eating “white meat” as a substitute; it’s important to make sure people do not conclude that eating zero meat might be the best choice. That’s crazy-talk, and where would you get all those vitamins and minerals and nutrients if not from “white meat,” anyway?
Heaven help us if we stop calling it “meat” and address it as, say, “animal flesh.” Ugh. Most offensive to me, forever, is the stupid semantics game, where if you say “a piece of chicken” instead of “a piece of a dead chicken” people can avoid taking responsibility for their diets.