Is that who I think it is?! Why, yes! The Meatless Monday Unicorn is back! And he has a New Year’s suggestion for all the slackers still waiting to make resolutions. Welcome him back!
Hey, MMU! Thanks for the business advice. It’s great to see you applying your MBA.
You can check out the Meatless Monday Unicorn on Flickr to send to your omni pals!
Bees might actually be more afraid of us than we are of them, for real »
Despite my morbid fear of bees, I try to respect them. If I see one, I run screaming at least 20 feet before looking to see if he or she chased me. But it seems as though this behavior might hurt their little bee feelings: A recent study at Newcastle University says that bees can have “pessimistic biases,” meaning “the tendency to perceive threat or anticipate negative outcomes”—but only when they’re feeling pessimistic. Wait, what? Yes, when bees are feeling bad, they behave like something bad is about to happen.
The researchers trained a group of bees to associate two odors with two foods, one that bees like and one that they don’t. After this, the response of the bees’ mouth parts was measured in response to “ambiguous” odors, to see if they would open their mouths to eat, or not.
To further test the bees’ responses, half of the subjects were plopped into a badger-attack simulator (such a thing exists?!) and then measured their neurological responses. When the bees were scared, they responded negatively to the stimuli. A negative experience—a.k.a., being treated cruelly by researchers—made the bees assume the ambiguous odor would not be food. Neat, right? Neat and mean!
Had you already assumed that bees have feelings? Why risk it—most other creatures seem to. Still, this study’s results are pretty awesome. Apply them to your life, and go say nice things to a bee today. Buzz!
[Beautiful cartoon by Megan Rascal]
Humans polluting the oceans makes fish dumber »
I think some guy in a thick, very old book once said that it’s better to be a fisher of men than to give a man a fish and multiply it to feed thousands. Right?
Anyway, fishing sucks, but destroying the habitats of the fish who still remain is worse. And that’s exactly what is happening today: man-made increases in seawater carbon dioxide levels cause fish to lose their “handedness,” or preference for turning one way or another.
Poor dumb fish! Not-so-poor dumb humans who keep fighting EPA regulations, among other obvious mistakes!
Backyard chickens are making children sick. Seriously, kids are being hospitalized. Yay, urban homesteading! Yay, Salmonella! »
The next time of your locavIDIOT friends is all, “OMG I totally want backyard chickens and in related news I am a total idiot!” you can be all, “READ THIS FIRST,
Salmonella isn’t just for factory farms anymore, folks! Thas right:
Infected chicks and ducklings have sickened 71 people—more than half of them younger than 5—in a growing multistate outbreak of salmonella that now involves two different strains of the bacteria.
Eighteen people were hospitalized with “SEVERE DIARRHEA.” In related news, that’s totally the name of my punk band. Also: EW GROSS.
Will backyard chickens make you and your children sick with the shits? And maybe worse? We’ll let this chicken answer for us:
Wow, MMU, you’re so right! I’m glad we have these little chats.
Hey, MMU! I didn’t know you knew how to cook! Say, what’s that you got growing there?
Click through to flickr to send to your omni pals.
What a beautiful poem, MMU! You are as talented as you are wise.
Updated for hilarious dramaqueen omnivore commentary! One person’s reaction to this week’s MMU:
How fucking ableist is vegansaurus? Wow. Ok, so you must magically come up with the money, obviously. And it doesn’t matter if your eating disorder will relapse. Nor does it matter if your body will have a reaction. Basically, no excuses. STFU and go vegan! Ableism whaaat?
OMG you must magically come up with the money NOT to buy meat! WTF WHO DO WE THINK WE ARE?! On top of that, not eating meat one day a week will give you an eating disorder! Serious LULZ, guys. Keep it coming. You crack me up!