Recipe: Microwave potato chips!  »

I am fat, poor, and love electronics. Hence, the birth of the microwave potato chip. All you need are some large russet potatoes, salts, spices and herbs of your choosing and a microwave. If you’re one of those people who don’t have a microwave on principle, go away, you disgust me. If you’re one of those people who don’t have a microwave because you’re too poor, come over here so I can smack you in the head! Have you ever BEEN to a garage sale?! They are the no. 2 best garage-sale-seller after “white family selling the used-once rice cooker”! Don’t tell me $15 is too much to pay for your happiness! I believe my love for the microwave is so strong that I actually willed it into being. That is right, I think I invented the microwave. Along with the La-Z-Boy recliner, the movie Cabin Boy, and dogs.

So, first. You take the potatoes. You mandolin* slice them. Then, you lay the slices out on a piece of parchment paper. Next, you cover them in whatever deliciousness you desire: salt, pepper, salt AND pepper, fresh rosemary, dried rosemary, five-spice mix, Thai seasoning, whatever! Go crazy! We did each batch with a different flavor sensation. Then, you microwave them for two to three minutes, depending on how powerful (read: new) your microwave is. They should start to shrink and curl at the edges a little. Finally, take them out and transfer them to a plate or bowl. Or your mouth. However, I suggest waiting a couple minutes for them to finish the crispification process!

One large russet potato will yield a shitload of chips. I imagine you can also try other types of potatoes and go all Terra Chips-nutso but I haven’t tried that yet. Yet.

*SO FANCY! You can probably find a cheap-o one at any thrift store, or a pricier one at Williams Sonoma or Sur la Table or somewhere equally gay.

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