It’s 30 minutes, and not especially graphic with regard to animal abuse.
So after a long, hard workout with an extremely motivating taskmaster (that sound like I had sex for hours and was paid for it but sadly, it was really just an intense workout. In a gym.), I had to gorge myself on something not totally terrible for me but still delicious that was less than 2 minutes from the gym because FUCKING A I WAS STARVING. So I decided to try Underdog, an all-organic hot-doggery with many vegan options in the Sunset District. I know, I have a lot to learn about weight loss.
The place is adorable and teeny-tiny with a couple of tables inside. There is a bench outside where you can sit with your dogs and they even have a doggy water bowl!* The woman working was super friendly and I have two words for you: TATER TOTS!! Goddamn. Those sneaky little fuckers are hard to find in restaurants so whenever they’re on a menu, I’m gonna immediately make a scene. And these weren’t just any tater tots, these were AMAZING TOTS. They were baked instead of fried (Holla back, diet!) and had this delicious smoky flavor and my GOD, I could have eaten 10 orders (Holla back, diet!). The vegan sausages are Tofurky brand and I’m a fan so I was delighted to see they are grilled perfectly. You have your choice of toppings, sauerkraut, relish, ketchup, 19 kinds of mustard, etc. and they’re all organic. They also offer mayo but anyone with a brain would agree that they should offer Wildwood Garlic Aioli instead. Anyone who has ever tried mayo and Wildwood Garlic Aioli in a back-to-back taste-test will tell you that mayo ain’t got nothing on the PERFECTION that is Wildwood Garlic Aioli. Having typed its name three times, I don’t think I can continue until I eat some.
On subsequent visits, I learned Underdog also has really fresh garden salads, fruit salads, a good pb&j, and lots of organic snacks to choose from.
They’re definitely big on the organic thing, which I think is cool and all but I wonder what that even means. “Organic” is one of those words that is tossed around so often and has become so mainstream that it’s losing whatever sloppy-ass USDA-governed meaning it had to begin with. The U.S. Organic standards are lenient at best and completely ignored at worst. Also, “organic” doesn’t mean the animals are treated any better…in fact, 99 percent of the time, they have the same crappy lives and ended up at same crappy slaughterhouses as the factory-farmed animals. It’s one thing if people go to Safeway and buy their fucking ground chuck on super-cheap-ass savings deal-o-rama and know that that animal had the worst life and death imaginable, but it’s quite another thing for people to think they are doing the right thing by buying organic, humanely raised, happy-life, painless-death animals when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Anyway, there’s more info on that here.
I love Underdog for caring about vegan business and making a real (and successful!) effort to accommodate us, but at the end of the day, their mission statement claim of wanting to conduct business in ways that make the least negative impact on our planet has an easy solution: stop serving meat! No manner of biodegradable utensils will come close to having such an impact.
*The owners of Underdog went on to adopt TWO Rocket Dogs! Yay!