vegansaurus!

Animal-welfare news sways meat consumers  »

Some good news! Meat eaters don’t like hearing about shitty conditions animals live and die in, so let’s keep reminding them! Every chance we get! In a non-preachy, non-offensive way, of course. I know, our job is never easy, but we’re not the ones crowded into CAFO’s breathing in the shit of our friends and family while we wait to die, right? GOOD MORNING! I AM A BUNDLE OF SUNSHINE AND LIGHT! Now, get out there and do your part to keep animal news in the news and get active and vocal for the animals. Ow!

[Thanks for the link, Paul!]

Adopt-a-Rabbit update!  »

Good news, everyone! Anne reports that the Adopt-a-Rabbit event on Saturday was a great success! All of 14 rabbits found loving homes, including Misses Bijou and Clementine. Isn’t that lovely? And there’ll be another, even bigger bunny adoption event in a few weeks in Richmond, in case you missed this one and need a bun in your life (hint: you do)—we’ll keep you posted with details as they’re finalized. In the meantime, please direct your questions to Anne.

Thanks to everyone who went, and all the people who took home a rabbit. It’s basically your patriotic duty to adopt an animal, so consider yourselves better citizens for it. Or at least better residents, whatever. Love your animal pals, that’s what’s important.

[pictured: Goldie and Kisses, of the Harvest Home Animal Sanctuary]

Every Monday is “Vegetarian Day” in San Francisco!  »

A resolution declaring every Monday as “Vegetarian Day” to urge all restaurants, grocery stores, and schools to offer a variety of plant-based options to improve the health of San Francisco residents PASSED TODAY! First city in the nation to have a regular vegetarian day! GO SF!!!!

The resolution was introduced by Supervisor Sophie Maxwell and passed unanimously by the San Francisco Board of Supervisors this afternoon. More official details if you’re all intellectual and questioning of My Word and shit. It’s a terrible PDF (they’re the WORST!), you’ve been warned.

We are totally having a party at Vegansaurus HQ and will have a full update later but for now, LET’S DRINK VEGAN WHITE RUSSIANS AND EAT VEGAN DOUBLE DOWNS UNTIL WE PASS OUT AND THEN DO IT AGAIN!

Hellmann’s launches new light mayo recipe with cage-free eggs!  »

Hellmann’s Light Mayonnaise is the first consumer product of its stature and volume in the packaged foods industry to use 100 percent cage-free eggs—which equates to approximately 3.5 million pounds of eggs.

That’s a shit-ton of eggs. Before everyone bitches (and I know you’re gonna do it anyway because you’re all sassy and opinionated and I love that about you), I just want to say: I know it’s not vegan, but moves like this are victories. We all know that cage-free isn’t cruelty-free, but Americans eat like a bazillion eggs every year and that’s probably not going to change anytime soon. Better those of us who aren’t vegan (yet!) eat cage-free and start to THINK about where their eggs come from. Of course, I’m never going to eat Hellman’s Light Mayo, but I really hope people will choose it over their competitors. It’s a start and every victory helps.

Oh also, did you know that Trader Joe’s Light Mayo is vegan? It is. And it’s cheap, too! So there is your vegan news as well! BAM!

Monsanto makes new onion from corn!  »

Onion fans, have you ever thought, “Boy, I sure wish this onion didn’t taste like an onion”?  Well move right the hell over, endless sea of genetically modified monster corn, because there’s a new crop on the block and it’s comin’ to a (Schnucks) grocer (in St. Louis) near you!

Malevolent dictator Monsanto is proud to introduce the EverMild, a feisty new breed of onion poised to take the world by storm. True to its EverGross name, the EverMildMagicOnion is a milder version of your average, shitty old onion.

“The EverMild was grown and selected to have a mild and sweet flavor,” Danielle Stuart, a spokesperson for Monsanto’s vegetable-seed business, told AOL food blog Slashfood. “They are very versatile, you can use them raw in salads, or roast or grill them. They’re grown domestically in the Pacific Northwest so they will be available in the winter months,” unlike the EverRegular sweet onion Vidalia, which siestas on the moon during winter.

Alarmingly, the EverMildMagicOnion was “developed using good old-fashioned traditional plant breeding techniques.” Is Monsanto selling out??

Fear not, readers; when asked (in an exclusive interview!) what else might be coming down the pipeline, a Monsanto spokesperson told this Vegansaurus contributor, “We’re currently working on an exciting new variety of apple with the texture of cardboard and the flavor of boiled gym socks. We’ve also had our eye on an upstart food science company that’s had great luck producing lettuce that tastes like french fries and corn that spontaneously turns itself into Mountain Dew. It’ll be a landmark year!”

Well, that’s a relief!

Kate lives in the hull of one of San Francisco’s buried sea-faring vessels. It’s dank and dusty down there but she doesn’t mind; she’s got her two cats and a library of science fiction novels to keep her warm. When she’s not worrying about lantern fires and whether Safeway is out of Boont, Kate enjoys obliterating zombies and making vegan nachos. You can find her on Flickr and Twitter.

Dream of opening a vegan restaurant in SF? NOW IS THE TIME, SLACKERS!  »

According to SF Gate, in 1987, San Francisco banned new restaurants on Noe Valley’s 24th Street because residents felt they were losing local shops to eateries that drove up rents and caused traffic jams. Well bitches, that shit done happened anyway and yet, about 15 storefronts sit vacant (or basically decrepit and filled with extreme right-wing INSANITY) and the babies of Noe Valley demand eateries! NOW HERE’S THE MILLION DOLLAR IDEA. Wait for it. 

OPEN A VEGAN RESTAURANT (or 15!) in this health skinny conscious neighborhood! These fools will fall over backwards for delicious, nutritious vegan food (WITH A KID’S MENU THIS IS KEY) that will satiate their entire family plus maids (if they’re a Benevolent Ruler). And since these fools are all richie riches, you can hike the prices up and perhaps even survive in this hostile environment.

I’ll be real withchu, as a vegan who lived in Noe Valley Of The Dolls, it was HARD TIME for eatin’. There are very few vegan friendly establishments on the street and hardly anywhere tasty period. If you get something good in there, you could attract the locals and perhaps even all the scroungy vegans in the mission who need a classy date spot. Seriously, we’ll love it. Now is the time to get in there and give the babies what they want! You can do it! Please do it! FOR THE LOVE OF BABIES!