Happy Veggie Kids: Noah! »
This is seven-year-old Noah! He is clearly a baseball stud and he also helps his mom with her blog!
Vegansaurus: What is your favorite food?
Noah: Pickles and Tofurkey Reubens. [Mom note: I made my own recipe]
What is your favorite kind of birthday cake?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
Why are you vegan?
Because it doesn’t hurt animals.
Do you like being vegan? Why?
Yes, because it doesn’t hurt animals and the food tastes yummier than un-vegan food.
Is it ever hard to be vegan?
No. [Ed. note: that’s what I like to hear!]
What do your friends think about you being vegan?
They think it’s good. Most of them are vegan, too.
What is your favorite animal? Why?
All animals because they’re our friends and they help us live.
Do you like pink dinosaurs? Can you draw one for us? We would love it!
Yeah, but I mostly like blue dinosaurs. Yes, I can draw one!
If I’m not mistaken, that looks like a vegansaurus grocery shopping with a baby vegansaurus in the cart?! Holy cannoli! Baby vegansaurus! Awesome! As usual, if you have a vegan or vegetarian kid who wants to do the interview, email me!
VEGAN COMEBACKS! by Noah and Amanda »
Sometimes you have to deal with stubborn meat-eaters who want nothing other than to lull you back to the dark side with promises of charbroiled cow anus and bacon flavored chicken dick. What follows is a template for a conversation with a stubborn Meat Nazi that you can use as a reference if ever you need a snappy vegan comeback!
Asswipe: You’re a vegan? So you’re some fruity little malnourished pansy-pants?
You: No, I’m not. I get all my protein and vitamins from natural sources and I’m pretty healthy.
AW: But, animals were put on this earth so we could eat them.
Y: You don’t have a problem with the notion that a sentient creature exists solely so it can be murdered and devoured by another?
AW: Um, I guess that sucks, but we’re made to eat meat, man!
Y: Whatevs, meat rots in your body for days and makes you smell.
Aw: Um, I don’t smell.
Y: Yeah, YOU DO.
AW: Well, I had this friend that went vegan and he was always sick.
Y: Yeah right, who would want to be friends with YOU?
AW: Granted but, well, it sucks that you don’t get to get your grub on with ‘tarded-good food like cheezburgers and ho-hos.
Y: Son, you better mind those flappin’-ass gums. Know what I’m saying? Don’t make me act a fool and slice your pretty ass up three ways. Now gimme the money.
AW: Whoa man, I’m sorry, I was just trying to have a conversation. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.
Y: (This is where you stop talking already, get your mug on real mean, grab a crowbar from out of your pants, and make him give you his ATM card and PIN. Then you can use his money to buy some sick-saucy boots.)
Amanda and Noah are an adorable Vegansaurus-reading couple who live in San Francisco and do things like blogging, screenwriting, DJing, enjoying libraries, dog-owning, and vegan food partying, like pretty much
all the insufferable hipsters everyone else we know. Perf! Their first guest post is totes the bomb dot com. <3