So necessary: Stella McCartney’s cashmere jumper for baby  »

Stella McCartney gets on my last goddamn nerve with her vegetarian BS. I’m glad she doesn’t use leather but can she cool it with the wool already? For fuck’s sake! I’m sure you can imagine how excited I was to see this cashmere number in her new children’s clothing collection. I know, the tiny model is hella cute, but let’s get real: an $88 US cashmere onesie? OBNOXIOUS. It’s like, “How to raise a d-bag, 101.” Can I get a witness?!

For good measure, here’s a little cashmere crash-course:

Cashmere is made from the coats of cashmere goats. When you buy a ‘beautiful’ cashmere garment, know that you have supported the killing of several goats that weren’t quite beautiful enough. Cashmere goats are harshly judged and those with ‘defects’ in their coats are typically killed before reaching two years of age. Industry experts estimate that farmers kill 50 to 80 per cent of the young goats whose coats do not meet standards.—Global Action Network

Cashmere goats are raised in crowded filthy stalls [and] sheared when they need their wool coats the most, in the winter. Exposed to the cold, these goats are more susceptible to illnesses. Ear-notched, de-horned and castrated without anesthesia, they are sold for meat after their first fiber harvest. With the depressed global economy, there is a glut of cashmere wool on the market so now many herds are simply butchered rather than used for their wool.—Animal Protection League of New Jersey

Adorably, if you buy the Stella for Kids “Leo sweatshirt” for a mere $36 US, the company will donate a whole £1 GB to Meat Free Monday, Ltd. That’s $1.61 US, or 4.5 percent! Less than sales tax, even. But don’t worry, Leo is made from organic cotton. Better than cashmere, amirite? Hey, at least no one purposely slaughtered a goat for your kid’s sweater!


Your holiday novelty food, veganized: Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts!  »

I saw this weird/gross/totally fascinating post on Limited Edition Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts about a month ago, and it made me feel funny inside. “We might be delicious,” they said to me. “Don’t you want to find out how delicious we might be?” Yes, oh yes I did. Once upon a time I was a novelty Pop-Tarts junkie; never the fruit flavors, only the nastiest kinds like S’mores and Chocolate Fudge, and Cinnamon and Brown Sugar right out of the foil, though that wasn’t for pleasure so much as binge-time, ahem. When I went vegan, I assumed Pop-Tarts were on the list of foods I’d never eat again; but then, I was unaware of the genius for creativity in the vegan community. Look at what our guest chefs have done with Project Just Desserts!

Eventually I learned to make a lovely vegan Twinkie, and 10 months ago, our pal Natalye gave us her recipe for vegan Pop-Tarts. When I came upon the Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts, I knew I wanted to make them; I just needed the opportunity. THEN I found out that the Great Canned Pumpkin Shortage of 2009 had ended, so I could break open one of the cans my mother had been hording and get baking.

First, I made a vegan pumpkin pie. I used this recipe from VegWeb, making two adjustments: I used 1/2 cup sugar and 1/4 cup maple syrup; and I dissolved the cornstarch into a little hot water and slowly poured it into the food processor. Also, no crust, obviously. I let it cool on the counter and refrigerated it overnight. When I was ready to make the Pop-Tarts, I took the pie out of the fridge to bring it to room temperature.

Following Natalye’s instructions, I doubled the pastry recipe. For the filling, I mushed up the pie—avoiding the extra-cooked edges—and substituted it for the blueberry preserves in the original recipe.

For the icing, I used the cinnamon icing recipe on page 126 of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, without the non-dairy butter. For authentic replication, I left out the cinnamon when icing half the Pop-Tarts, and applied it with a quality food brush.

There you go: vegan pumpkin pie Pop-Tarts! Everything you wanted for your novelty holiday breakfast!

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