Killer whales kill. Shhhh! Don’t tell anybody!  »

Adrants, a gossipy advertising blog, is criticizing the World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA), claiming their timing is poor for a campaign against SeaWorld:

In a morbid bid to capitalize on the SeaWorld tragedy, the World Society for Protection of Animals has hired Work Club to create a new campaign to dissuade British tourists from patronizing “cruel” attractions while on vacation. In other words, don’t go to SeaWorld.

I can’t tell, are those condescending quotation marks on “cruel” or not? I’m going to err on the side of condescending because, well, they are kind of dicks. Now to be fair, like I said, they are just criticizing the timing of such a campaign, not the message—“cruel” aside, they remain neutral on that. But that seems like the opposite of logic to me. This is perfect timing, considering the tragedy is not at all an isolated incident. The WSPA claims that this specific whale contributed to two other human deaths. And forget this whale, the BBC gives us a laundry list of carnage caused by other killer whales. Also, it’s not just that this has happened before, there are factors that lead to the incident such as inadequate confinement and generally poor conditions. SeaWorld is not going to tell the public about this, so the WSPA has to. That’s fucked up in its own right.

[Image from the WSPA]


“ Or, you know, maybe don’t enslave your fellow intelligent mammal species, as a start, and then just blow up all the motherfucking “Sea Worlds” and any zoo that isn’t run like the San Diego Wild Animal Park—thousands of acres where the creatures can roam free and hump in the sun, etc. „

Wonkette, which I adore, wanted to let you all know that some crazies at a website called Rightly Concerned posted something really gross last week titled “Bible ignored, trainer dies" that says that if Sea World Orlando officials had been reading the Old Testament, they’d have known that disobedient animals "shall be stoned," just like naughty oxen, so get on that already and kill it, KILL IT NOW BEFORE IT KILLS AGAIN DEMON SPAWN OF THE SEA.


Do not mess with a KILLER whale  »

So apparently a killer whale at Orlando’s Marine World killed a trainer. And this isn’t the first time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, killer whales are the gang members of the sea, YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THEM. I’m sorry, but who else has seen that PBS documentary or whatever it was where they follow a pack of orcas as they chase down a blue whale AND HER BABY and then when the mom blue whale is too tired to keep swimming and protect her baby and must rest, they fucking kill the baby JUST TO EAT HIS EYEBALLS? Seriously, this is the kind of gang initiation shit these fools pull. DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. THEM.

That being said, there is a big movement to Save Lolita, a killer whale who is currently at Miami’s Seaquarium (Yes, SEAQUARIUM). From the website:

Lolita is a 42-year-old captive killer whale (orca) living at the Miami Seaquarium in Florida. Since her brutal capture in 1970, she has been kept in a tank that is illegal by the Animal Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) standards for size requirements. Lolita is approximately 21 feet long and 7,000 pounds. Her tank is 20 feet deep at the deepest point and a mere 12 feet deep around the edges. The pool is only 35 feet wide. The Miami Seaquarium is considered to be one of the most dilapidated aquatic parks in the world. It is in need of major repairs, and per the Marine Mammal Inventory Report, has a substantial death rate for their animals.

The site is asking that the asshole owners of the Seaquarium please build a more suitable retirement enclosure for Lolita,* who is totally miserable and stuck in her small, dirty space. I know, it’s not the same as returning her to the ocean, but they ruined the chance of her ever having a normal life when they captured her to put her in a tank to teach kids about respecting animals. Uh, yeah. Read more about Lolita and lend your voice to this effort OR I WILL SIC HER ON YOU.

*Where she could terrorize other beings which I’m okay with because it’s natural for her because she is a KILLER WHALE.

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