Review: Lahore Karahi!  »

Lahore Karahi. What to say. It’s not much to look at and it’s located where dreams go to die but this place is off the motherflipping CHAIN. Do yourself a favor and put something on you don’t mind smelling like Pakistani food for the rest of its life and get your ass over to this place. Forget about all the other Indian-Pakistani places you think are great because the food is cheap and the health code violations are plentiful, because this place is cheaper and the health code violations are probably more egregious (it’s more authentic that way! and honestly, if you ever eat out in a city, you just have to assume your meal is made up of 10 percent rat hair).

If you’re not a moron, you’ll order the vegetable sabzi. It. is. AMAZING. Not oily at all and full of delicious Pakistani flavor. The rice is something magical and the roti (with sesame seeds! delightful touch!) is INSANE. I mean, that bread will physically get up and knock you over being all, “Bitch, I am delicious!” Pretty much everything vegetarian on the menu can be made vegan, just ask! The guy who takes your order isn’t a jerk so much as he likes to GET THINGS DONE. ON HIS TERMS. Whatever, just roll with it, you ain’t got nowhere better to be. Because there is nowhere better to be.

IT IS IMPERATIVE that you come here with people you don’t mind spending time with; the wait for food can sometimes be intense. However, as soon as the food comes, you won’t have time to talk: you’ll be stuffing your face! Your internal monologue will be all, “FUCK WORDS! THIS MOUTH IS FOR EATING!”

Honestly, I wanted to bust into song after this meal. Unfortunately that song was Ludacris’ “Area Codes,” and that is not a song you want to sing in the Tenderloin, for fear of being confused with an actual pimp.

[photo via yelp]

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