Make the world’s greatest food: Yumm Sauce! »
You most likely have no clue what Yumm Sauce is because you’ve been living under a motherfucking rock. It’s this savory, tangy, creamy dressing/dip/sauce of amazement, available almost exclusively* from Cafe Yumm, a chain of restaurants in Eugene, Ore. At this magical Cafe Yumm, they serve the sauce on pretty much everything, but most especially their bowls.
It’s totally next-level hippie shit, so damn good. You’ll feel so nourished by comforting, healthful, real foods that you end up typing sentences as embarrassing as this one. Damn, that shit will make you go cross-eyed it’s so good, and the bitch of it is you can only get it in certain parts of the Pacific Northwest. Ugh, awful. You’re probably like, “Laura, why the hell are you telling us about this magical magicallity when I can’t ever eat it? Although you’re pretty and smart, YOU SUCK!”
To that I say: 1) You think I’m pretty? Aww, thanks! And 2) GIRLFRIEND, I GOT YOUR BACK. I found a recipe online and it’s the real deal. Well, it’s not exactly the real deal, but it’s very similar, not much work at all, and HELLA TASTY. Make it immediately, put it on everything, win the respect of family and friends.** Plus, it’s wheat-free, gluten-free, sugar-free, and low in sodium, if you care about that shit. There’s a ton of oil in it but that’s good fat, right?
This picture is what your sauce should look like, except not in a jar with a label. If it looks like that, it’s because you wimped out and just bought some. Not cool, dawg.
*I say “almost exclusively” because Jonas brought me some back from Food Fight Grocery in Portland once. That was the day we got along the best in the history of our relationship.
**Good luck with THAT.
UPDATE: substitute nutritional yeast for the brewers yeast! LISTEN TO COMMENTER ADRIENNE, SHE IS VERY RIGHT.