vegansaurus!

05/21/2010

Meat fights, meat deaths, milk pants, murder and MORE in today’s link-o-rama!  »

It’s funny when gross people things affect animals! Especially when the animals behave in a manner that reminds people of themselves! HA HA HA. [Image from the Daily Telegraph]

Fun-times vegan-related events!
Anyone going to the Maker Faire this weekend? It runs Saturday 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Sunday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the San Mateo County Event Center, and it looks intense. Tickets cost $25 per day but probably it’s worth it for the food events alone—classes on kimchi, spicy pickles, tofu, hooch, and “growing sprouts and baby greens with and without soil.” Skip the bacon, butchery and butter classes and make it a super-productive vegan weekend.

Have you made reservations for Millennium’s Southern Comfort Dinner? It’s on Monday, what is wrong with you? Anyway, there are other fancy/fun/delicious events happening at Millennium soon if you miss this.

Ultra-veg/etari/an(?) spokesdude Paul McCartney will play at AT&T Park on July 10, tickets for which will go on sale on Monday, May 24. You know, if you’re into that sort of thing.

News items of varying degrees of interest!
"Famous" "person" Bethenny of The Real Housewives of New York, official naked lady for PETA, has an entire "vegetarian" recipes section on her website. I don’t believe she eats, personally, but it’s fun to pretend she cares about anything besides her “personal brand,” right?

Danger of an E. coli outbreak caused the recall of 53,000 pounds of ground beef this week. Whoops, we have no regard for animal or human safety! And yet nearly 74 percent of federal food subsidies go toward “meat” and “dairy” production. No, it makes sense.

Breaking news! The government is moving Plum Island to Kansas! “Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & Mouth disease could wipe out the nation’s entire stock of cow anus parts used to make Fast Food Hamburgers?… It’s a great idea, if you want to kill off about 95 percent of Americans by poisoning their Extra Value Meals with weapons-grade Human Brucellosis-HIV.” That’s your agriculture, motherfuckers.

Oh and did we mention that pesticides have been linked to ADHD? And not like that inoculations = autism lie—for real. Not that all organic farmers are fucking angels, Guinness McFadden of McFadden Farm in Mendocino County, animal-torturer.

See, it’s the repeated murder of animals as a job that can turn a person criminally violent. Sorry, workers on slaughterhouse kill floors! Your job is ruining you. Science also says that eating bacon on the regular will in fact kill the hell out of you, a lot quicker than, say, bacon on the never. Excuse me, I have to take an extra-strength vitamin DUH.

When even the Daily Mail is calling out McDonald’s U.K. for purchasing chickens who had shitty, nightmare lives in Argentina, one might think a change is on the horizon. For example, Mario Batali, who loves preparations of dead pig more than life itself, now advocates Meatless Mondays. On the other hand, two Portland bros got into a fistfight over the origin of the breed of pigs they had killed and were cooking for some kind of gruesome contest. Seriously, all you need to see are the hilarious douchey photos, as reading the article may send you into a fit of rage. Because they were fighting over THE DEAD PIGS. Animal-husbandry chauvinism, fuck yeah.

Now what about Trader Joe’s—is it really an “eco-friendly” company? The Utne Reader feels conflicted on the issues (read: negative). Our other favorite grocery chain is now expanding its vegan options! But this stuff won’t be labeled “vegan” because that word’s for terrorists, so look for "Health Starts Here" signs on the new products instead. Also they’re endorsing that “Engine 2 Diet,” which according to your Vegansaur Steve is “Skinny Bitch for the hegan set,” so hooray! but also UGH. No, nothing is ever good enough, ever.

Especially not MILK SHORTS, meant to be worn while you sleep to decrease the visibility of your cellulite, you fat fuck. Abbie is disgusted and SO ARE WE. If you have insanator links that we should feature here, send them in, please.

Wonkabout features “healthy” restaurants in D.C., meaning “places that serve lots of tofu and vegetables.” Generalizations aside, they all sound pretty good.

More locally, law enforcement officials have trained a “marine mammal team”—comprising two sea lions and a dolphin—to both spot “suspicious divers” and apprehend them using a leg cuff. What is this I don’t even.

In non-manipulative awesome-nature news, coral larvae bodily listen (as in, with more than just ear-style parts) for places to colonize, and choose where to go based on positive sounds, like whatever the sounds of a solid, secure reef are. Of course, people fucking around in the oceans are ruining all this for them. Less depressingly, red-eyed tree frogs conduct bum-vibration duels in the nighttime. The aggression of tiny, adorable animals is so hard to take seriously.

Back to sad: commercial agriculture is killing all the bees. Neat! Let’s read this article and be depressed. Then let’s click on Bunneh Roulette for a while to dull the pain.

If you wanted to buy produce just like Annie Sommerville of Greens, 7x7 wants to help you. Maybe you could buy similar stuff from Hayes Valley Farm—it’s flourishing these days. Or construct your own rooftop garden, like these dudes in Chicago. Former Greens chef Deborah Madison has a new cookbook out, called Seasonal Fruit Desserts. Her Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone is genius and I fully expect this fruit venture to be excellent as well.

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