vegansaurus!

01/15/2010

The latest in trends: eat some happy meat, sluts!  »

Gothamist asks, "Is Vegetarianism Dead?" a three-paragraph article based on a trend piece called "Flesh Mob" published in the New York Post, and gets—at last count—nearly 90 comments. Someone more cynical might call that the textual equivalent of taking your top off, but who’s cynical? Not us! We love our omnivorous friends. All of you are really great, seriously. Yes, even you with the “vegans are so malnourished” jokes, and you with the “isn’t a fat vegan an oxymoron” jokes, and all of you who despise “vegan food” without ever having tasted anything explicity labeled as such. Really, you’re the best.

See, it’s 2010, and we’re over your bullshit trend stories that cite like two biased sources based on one restaurant’s menu change. We’re extra-over your attempts to piggyback on those sad trend stories by writing what amounts to a self-promotional link dump, in which 10 of the 14 links are to your own site. What do you want, a gold star for having predicted a trend that doesn’t actually exist? We’d offer you a cookie, but it’s vegan and you probably wouldn’t eat it.

One formerly vegan restaurant in New York City started serving meat this year, and we’re sorry to have lost it. Does that mean that the entire veg world has abandoned its lifestyle practices? Nope. How many veg restaurants opened last year? Taking a local example, Babycakes published a cookbook, and expanded to Los Angeles; it looks like the last time you reported on them, Gothamist, was in April. Are you sure that this “conscientious carnivorism” that Scott Gold (a Vegansaurus Person Who Needs to Shut Up) is so crazy about actually exists, or that New York Times article on people eating raw meat as a “lifestyle choice” (which, SHUT UP) get you too excited to write articles based in reality?

Vegans, chill; we know we are in the right; nonsense like this doesn’t deserve anything more than an eye-roll. Keep on supporting your local veg businesses, and ignore the bullshit. There are too many good meals to have, too many good causes to support, too many good articles to read to waste your time with stuff like this.

12/28/2009

Grading the government, loving lemons, saving deer, giving presents to pigs and more in a special holiday link-o-rama!  »

The Humane Society gives the Obama Administration a B- for animal protection, based on the Change Agenda for Animals the HSUS set at the beginning of 2009. The full report is in this pdf.

Every country is crazy and racist in its own way: in Japan, you can buy a box of tissues shaped like a bucket of KFC “chicken” with Obama styled as Col. Sanders and emblazoned with the English word CHANGE. I don’t know.

Next Saturday, Jan. 9 at Mix (4086 18th St. at Castro Street) from 3 to 7 p.m., Rocket Dog Rescue and Muttville Senior Dog Rescue are cohosting Iris’ Memorial Fundraiser! There’ll be music, art, a raffle, snacks, and drink specials, with all proceeds to benefit Rocket Dog and Muttville.

Our friends at VegNews point us to the super-disturbing news that a “medium-sized” dog eats about 360 pounds of meat per year, which “combined with the land required to generate its food” means that a medium-sized dog has twice the carbon footprint of an SUV driving 6,200 miles per year, “including the energy to build the car.” In short: VEGAN DOGS 4 LYFE. The authors are also heartless advocates of keeping rabbits for company and supper, which obviously we do not support, but COME ON, vegans, are you really feeding your companion animals other animals?

Update: Just like Michael “shut up” Pollan’s “a Hummer-driving vegan has a lighter carbon footprint than a Prius-driving omnivore” (or whatever) comment, the above “facts” regarding the environmental impact of your meat-eating pets have been proven false by actual science. Vegansaurus maintains that giving your companion animals food like V-Dog instead of vile shit even offal connoisseurs wouldn’t touch is better for everyone.

Gracias Madre finally opened and we have a first report. (Should you go? YES you should. duh.)

Arizmendi Bakery, creators of amazing mint-chocolate-chip cookies the size of your face, among other phenomenal vegan baked goods about which Megan Allison has been known to wax rhapsodic, is expanding to the Mission! We are quite pleased.

Oh hey, the recipients of the Ed Block Courage Award were announced just last week Tuesday—NFL players are nominated by and voted on by their teammates—and guess who won for the Philadelphia Eagles? YES! Everyone’s favorite dog-abusing sociopath, Michael Vick! The Ed Block Foundation “celebrate[s] players in the NFL” while “improving the lives of neglected children and ending the cycle of abuse.” I can’t imagine what kind of courage it took to STOP TORTURING AND MURDERING DOGS and START PLAYING FOOTBALL AGAIN, Michael VIck; apparently, enough to reward you for it. A-plus, then. I guess neglected, abused kids have a lot to learn from such an upstanding citizen. Have fun at dinner.

The deer at Valley Forge got a “holiday reprieve,” as the National Park’s plan to have “sharpshooters” kill 1,500 deer over four winters (a November-to-March period), beginning with 500 in 2009, was indefinitely postponed by two lawsuits. The slaughter of these 1,500 deer would destroy 85 percent of the herd presently living in Valley Forge National Park.

LA Weekly says, Meyer lemons and red cabbage are where it’s at. I say, have you ever had German braised red cabbage, all sweet and sour and delicious? It tastes like staying warm on a snowy night, highly recommended.

There’s a new chef at Weird Fish who is reportedly changing the brunch menu and eliminating lunch altogether. Um. Do we have reason to worry, here? The brunch at Weird Fish is great, we fucking love Weird Fish, please do not mess around with our vegan brunch PLEASE PLEASE.

The Guardian has food writers name the most important (for varying reasons) food books of the decade. Fast Food Nation and The Omnivore’s Dilemma get mentions, how broad-minded. Or, you know, shut up, England.

And speaking of publications that irritate me right out of my holiday booze-haze, Bon Appetit lists “the 10 best dishes under $10.” Repping for San Francisco—and the meatless—Harvey Slocombe’s tin roof sundae. Shut up, Bon Appetit.

Northern California Dungeness crab fishing: the season is short, the majority of the dead crabs are canned and shipped out of state, and it has nothing to do with honoring the values of Slow Food goddamn Nation. Color me shocked.

But HEY! here is a video of some pigs getting presents! Aren’t they adorable?

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