Natalie Portman gets vegan analogs of Dior shoes to wear in her Miss Dior Chérie ads!  »

Earlier this year, Natty P. was named “the face” of Christian Dior’s Miss Dior Cherie perfume. But wait! There’s more! To accommodate her, Dior made vegan versions of their shoes for her to wear in all of the ads directed by Sophia Coppola (who directed the other Dior perfume commercial that uses that dope Brigitte Bardot song. Brigitte Bardot’s music is super greatI highly recommend it)! Portman knows what she’s doing! THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU DO VEGAN.

You know I love when the omnis bow down to our vegan greatness! I’m glad they made them for Portman but I don’t think Dior will be releasing a vegan line anytime soon—though I don’t think I’m in the right tax bracket for Dior shoes anyway. I mean, OMJesus,* $1,000 for shoes? Damn, girl. I don’t think I’d talk to me anymore if I bought thousand-dollar shoes. That’s like a round-trip ticket to Australia!**

Maybe when you heard the news, the same question popped into your head; specifically: does Dior test its perfumes on animals? Well! According to Dior: No! From the horse’s mouth:

They aren’t on PETA’s list of companies that don’t test on animals though. However, they also aren’t on their list of companies that do test on animals. They are on as a company to boycott but it doesn’t explicitly say why. According to Uncaged, a company can state that they don’t test their products on animals without addressing the animal-friendliness of every ingredient. Dior could not have sufficiently demonstrated it or its sibling companies’ opposition to animal testing. So I don’t know, guys: They say they don’t and I couldn’t find anything saying they definitely do; I am le tired and disheartened. It’s still dope about the shoes, though.

*My new catchphrase, soak it in.
**That’s how I get perspective on prices, I measure them in plane tickets. For time, I use beers; like how many beers will it take to walk to Susie’s house? More than one and I’m cabbing it! 

[Photo from this dude’s twitter]


A Vegan Etsy Halloween!  »

Hey people, Halloween is coming up! Ever heard of it? Well I want you all to be prepared AND I want you all to support some of the craftspeople on Etsy! So here are my picks for the perfect vegan Etsy Halloween.

Check out these super-cute cupcakes from vegan baker SweetFritsy! These would make anybody happy. Especially if you know some lil’ kids you are trying to get stoked on veganism, which is my new favorite thing to do.
For some more sweets, vegan mallocreme pumpkins from PandaWithCookieBakes. These are very festive, my pals. And you got to have candies for halloween, you’ve just got to.

For something to really get you in the spirit, try some vegan caramel corn, also by SweetFritsy (with whom I think I’m in love)! Hot damn I hate caramel corn, but it’s just so classically Halloween I’ll probably buy it anyway and force children to eat it.

Last in the sweets category, pumpkin whoopie pies by shortbreadnyc (who also does custom logo cupcakes; we need some pink t-rex ones, am I right? Hint: ALWAYS)! Picture these with some hot apple cider—so Americana!

To pull things out of your mouth for a brief moment, what are you going to be for Halloween? Maybe you could use some vegan makeup to help you out! Moiminerals has created a limited edition haunted house collection for all your ghoulish makeup needs. I like “bark at the moon” because that’s a funny name and I look lovely in sparkles (pro tip: I look lovely in everything).

Now this next item isn’t really a costume, but maybe you don’t have to be one of those people that wears your costume to work on Halloween because you freak me out. It’s a shirt for the bros in the crowd by JamesAnthony. I find this shirt motherloving scary for some reason. It’s freaking me out! It’s like you’re bleeding from the neck! Bleh!

For the ladies, yous guys could wear this scary dress by ompantyom to work and then later you put your costume on for the party I’m sure you’re invited to. They are calling this a “dress,” which it very well may be—if you’re a hoebag. Put on some damn pants!

For your costume-costume, I’m hoping you don’t wear a skanky costume and go with something super-scary instead! Scary costumes rule! But now you may be asking, “Megan Rascal, how can I get laid on Halloween when I have an eyeball falling out of my head and bloody skin peeling off my arms?” Do I have an answer for you! Well, I have an answer for those of you out there looking to bang someone with a penis. There are a few scents that are known to “increase penile blood-flow,” one of those scents being pumpkin pie,* and guess what: Etsy store LittleBatch makes a roll-on vegan pumpkin pie fragrance! Congratulations!

Now I know at this point you are like, “but Megan Rascal! What will my dog wear! No Halloween costume for my dog? EMBARRASSING!” Well pals, I found this adorbs big bad wolf costume from Down Under Dog Designs. The Fig doesn’t like wearing hats or hoods, but I find these hooded costumes are still cute when the hood is down, so this should be fairly comfortable. See, I love dogs in clothes as much as the next Megan Rascal, but you’ve got to make sure your dog is comfortable!

There you have it! Happy Halloween, yall!

*Read all about it here. It’s hilarious because the others are licorice, vanilla and lavender. So that is food, food, and soap like your mom used to use. Boys! It’s OK though, baby powder increases women’s arousal. Duh, women are baby factories!

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