Pizza Plaza in Oakland has TEESE! And they DELIVER! They’re just not very GOOD!  »

They deliver to you in Oakland, SUCKAS! Well, actually, that might make me the sucker because Pizza Plaza pizza is just not that good. Dry crust, hardly any toppings: it’s a void of deliciousness. My last order was over a month ago (before they got Teese) and it was basically inedible, and I don’t use that term lightly because I’ll eat some questionable shit and I’ll like it.

The thing is, I WANT to support them. They’re local, they’re all vegetarian with tons of vegan selections, they’re super nice, they DELIVER, they have the new Teese which melts and stretches and is DELICIOUS and yet, their pizza gives me the sads. I cry pepperoni tears, much like this pizza below MADE BY A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST:

Seriously, the last time I got the garlic bread and it was so dry, I almost choked on it. HAZEL DIDN’T EVEN WANT IT. This dog eats feces, mmmkay?* Anyway, maybe it’s gotten better with the addition of Teese? Who is brave enough to order and let us know!? Will it be you? And maybe, just maybe, someone out there is an expert pizzaiola/o and wants to work with Pizza Plaza to create a superior product? IS THAT YOU? Because I love them and I want them to be the amazing best pizza in the land. I know it can happen. Let’s do this, vegans.


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