Say goodbye to the polar bear »
Too bad, polar bears, but a bunch of us humans don’t want to stop selling your pelts on the open market, so you can expect to be hunted to extinction.
This issue is tied up with politics surrounding Canada’s First Nations, specifically the Inuit:
There are about 25,000 polar bears left in the world with an estimated 16,000 living in the Canadian Arctic. Canada is the only country that permits the export of polar bear parts.
Each year around 600 polar bears are killed there, mainly by native hunters. According to Inuit representatives, the pelts from around 300 bears are sold for rugs. Other parts including fangs and paws are also exported.
The Inuit say they get an average of $4,850 per pelt. They argue that this is a critical economic resource for a people that do not have much else.
The trouble with that argument is that in conjunction with global warming destroying their ecosystem, the bears won’t be around to hunt much longer. Say goodbye to polar bears, everyone; the next generations won’t even know what they are.
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday, with Mark! »
You guys, video games get me really stressed out. So much so that sometimes I can’t sleep after playing. That’s when I have to start looking at beautiful things to calm me down, like this flooded meadow in Austria. Okay, stop reading here for a second, watch the video, and then let’s talk about it!
[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!
Did you watch the video? No, dude, did you watch it? It is BEAUTIFUL! I don’t know if it is wrong to find wrecked things this beautiful, but when I saw the video I tried to wake Allen up so that he could watch it with me and then we could plan a trip to Austria to dive there in person, but he just kicked me. Then I realize how expensive equipment and learning I dive would be so I gave up on that dream as well, but I think that along with the salt flats of Bolivia, this is one of the top five places I would like to go someday but probably never will because I hate outside.
Hating outside pretty much means I also do not enjoy many of the animals that can come visit me in my home (I do in they, but I’m not going to go out and look for them). I have also never found birds (except the Mockingjay, holla!) to be particularly cute or exciting, but then Buzzfeed ran a piece on fat birds and I was in LOVE. Look at these gorgeous monsters! They’re fat, they’re proud, and they look like they want to give me some serious cuddles followed by one hell of a pecking! Not that I’m going to go out and look for them, though. Fuck outside!
And fuck zoos! Fuck zoos with a rock! That’s right, zoos are the worst and this polar bear is going to show you what’s up by cracking the glass in his enclosure with a rock. And then he is going to eat you and cuddle with me. And the birds.
[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!
That’s it for this week! Please send me links and PS3 recommendations for next week, and have a harpy-free Wednesday!
[image via Buzzfeed, uncredited because that’s how Buzzfeed rolls.]
A Portrait of Iorek Byrnison as a Young Man.
OK not really. It’s “Young polar bears sparring in Svalbard.” Only slightly less thrilling, I know. This magnificent image is a National Geographic photo of the day, by Paul Nicklen. Click through to see it much bigger. Polar bears, am I right?
Mo’ money, mo’ problems, except when it comes to polar bears, Canada says! »
Some researchers asked Canadians how much money they’d be willing to cough up to save the Arctic Circle’s bad-ass polar bears, and all told, it equalled $6.3 billion. Since there are only 15,000 polar bears left in existence, that equals out to about $450,000 per bear! Each Canadian household would pay an average of $508 toward polar bear conservation.
Apparently we have the bears’ intrinsic cuteness as well as Coca-Cola advertising partially to thank, but who cares what gets people motivated to save the planet—especially the bears? Polar bears are rad! Can we appropriate some of that hypothetical money? This bear army needs cash to get moving!
[photo by Will Keightley via Flickr]
Did I mention it’s National Bear Awareness Week? Let’s get PUMPED with this awesome video of polar bears from BBC Planet Earth. If you’ve got money, consider donating to Polar Bears International to help save this endangered species. BEAR WEEK.
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday! »
What? Oh, I didn’t see you through this haze of prescription painkillers and tertiary muscle relaxants. That’s right, today’s WTF Wednesday is brought to you by the letters V, I, C, O, D, I, and N! That means that this post will be both mercifully short and also make no sense whatsoever. Just imagine we are all at an awesome party, sitting on beanbag chairs under a blacklight. That is how I feel right now, and so should you. Except I hope you can move your back, because I can’t move mine. Or walk straight. Enough of my whining, this is a party!
First off, here are some bears doing yoga. It actually looks more like Tai chi to me, but what do I know? The last time i did any kind of exercise was a jacked-up sun salutation on a Wii balance board (why does that fucking thing groan every time you step onto it? Does it know that it is lowering my self-esteem each time I want to play Rhythm Parade?). I always feature bad things happening to bears, so I thought I would post something awesome. Just forget that the bears are in a zoo, because zoos are horrible. Just focus on the amazing stretches they can do. Who even knew Bears stretched? And who knew that they could be even more adorable? I certainly didn’t.
And while we’re on the subject of bears, here is what happens when a stupid Toronto weatherman tries to throw pumpkins at polar bears. I mentioned last week that I do not believe that all animals love pumpkins. Example, this otter, whose look clearly states, “You want to be next, stupid? Why would you think I’d want a pumpkin? Did you get me a fucking Kindle or what?” I bet that otter wasn’t going to be reading the new Jodi Picoult, either. Anyway, here’s today’s lesson: Don’t throw shit at animals from high places. It is traumatizing and not at all pleasant, and you deserved to lose your microphone and also be ridiculed by the internet. Allen watched that video like five times last night. He was dying. I mean literally choking for breath. He was laughing that hard. Between that and this video of an Ellen writer going through a haunted house (“you are so rude!!!!!”), he was really on fire.
Fine, it wouldn’t be WTF Wednesday without some sad news: a porn star strangled a dog. Say it with me: WHAT THE FUCK. Why would you do that, porn star Jason Creed, a.k.a. Shane Michael Thompson? Why would you just take your three-legged puppy and beat it, strangle it to death, and then try to pass it off as a seizure? Here is some news: Seizures and BEING BEATEN AND STRANGLED TO DEATH present quite differently. I don’t even watch House and I know that. And why the fuck would you adopt a three-legged dog, who was obviously already coping with large difficulties in life, and then abuse it? What is wrong with you? Did you not realize that there is a special room in a special circle of hell that is devoted to people who are deliberately cruel to animals? Maybe you were drunk or high, which makes it even worse. Not even Vicodin can take the harsh edge off the idea of a poor unsuspecting dog being attacked by a third-tier gay porn actor. Thank god his friends and roommates turned him in, although what disturbs me EVEN FURTHER is that they also stated that they had known about the abuse. Why didn’t you speak up before the dog was murdered? At least this guy is in jail. I could make all sorts of jokes about that, but I won’t; partly because this story is too sad and partly because I have standards.
That is it for this week. As always, please send me links for next week or leave them in the comments. Have an awesome week!
[photo by South Beds News Agency via the Telegraph]