Happy belated Easter from our favorite Pacific Northwest Leporidae, Bells and Nuage! Is there ever a bad time for a bunny video? Of course not.
Nuage is a bunny of discerning tastes. Here, he demonstrates his disdain for mass-market apple branches, and his absolute love of domestic apple branches.
You want a bundle for your precious little gnawer? Get some from Vegansaurus pal Potentially Nervous! Just $20 for two pounds of branches, including shipping, and your buns (and chinchillas, and other tooth-serious animals).
I love a rabbit who knows what he likes (read: all rabbits). I want to offer two kinds of everything bunnies like to Nuage to see which he prefers. It’s like the Pepsi challenge, but way cuter and 100 percent chemical-free.
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday! »
Several years ago I was very lonely. I was working full-time in a video store and had very few career aspirations; I had just ended a spectacular stint of dating with someone who was awesome and attractive but with whom I had very little in common; and when I wasn’t yelling at people to put their returns on the goddamned shelf of the counter that said “RETURNS” in large capital letters I was crying and playing video games. That’s when my friend Pali (who runs Rocket Dog Rescue) called and asked if I might like to adopt a pet.
“We’ve got a lot of hamsters here.” she said.
“I have now had several hamsters,” I replied. “I would like to move up in the world.”
“What were you thinking of?” she asked.
“A rabbit. A big one.”
“There are plenty of those,” she said. “Get down here before six o’clock.”
I jumped into a cab to the SF SPCA immediately, and within the hour returned home with a giant black bunny whom I respectfully named Ms. Cleo. This is a good story, but it gets better. Let me tell you something about bunnies: they poop. A lot. And chew. They chew everything. Oh, and they live forever! Had I had my degree in psychology already, I would have understood that I was transferring my desire for a ”good object” (read: a boyfriend) onto a furry animal of the wrong sex and expecting too much out of her. In time, Ms. Cleo and I came to love each other very much, and frequently hung out on my bed watching television and eating celery and pellets. However, I must stress that rabbits—and all animals, while we’re at it—are a big commitment; you really need to decide whether you’re ready to have all of your cables/clothes/bed frames chewed and pooped upon before you decide that you can adopt one. I remember (before my stint at In Defense of Animals, of course) how horrified I was to read that a tradition of the Hilton family—the Paris Hiltons—was to buy up a whole bunch of rabbits and chicks on Easter, and then give them away after the holiday was over and their cuteness had worn off (Source: Paris Hilton’s wonderful Confessions of an Heiress, which I totally own!). I also thought that this must be a very isolated thing and that most people don’t treat animals this way. Au contraire, mon frère: people are fucking ridiculous.
First, STOP GIVING ANIMALS AS PRESENTS!!! Remember the stuff I wrote before about Rabbits being a huge commitment? Yeah, that doesn’t change just because it’s their year! This seems pretty obvious to me, but in China rabbits are multiplying like crazy and wreaking havoc. Here’s what happens: Someone gets a rabbit for the New Year, they get all excited, buy a cage, and think “awesome! Now I have a friend!” Then the rabbit chews up everything and sometimes scratch. In the case of one woman, the rabbit, while adorable, chewed through every cable in the house and ate her resume to boot! Not such an awesome gift anymore, right? You know, especially since she didn’t even ask for or think of taking care of a rabbit. And you know what else? If you don’t have them fixed, rabbits will breed, leaving you with a whole bunch of offspring to deal with. Of course, some people step up to the task, but others are giving up very quickly ensuring that shelters and rabbit rescues are overflowing with rabbits whose only crime was being an animal on the Chinese Zodiac. And being criminally adorable, but that’s another story.
Second, STOP SENDING ANIMALS IN THE MAIL! Again, this is something I thought would be both common knowledge and common sense. For example, “Man, I need to return these awesome Bones DVDs to Netflix and this copy of “Band Hero” to Gamefly. OH SHIT! I forgot that I have to get John’s dog back to him tomorrow when he gets back from vacation. Hmmm, maybe I should just box and mail him as well. That way, John and the dog both arrive tomorrow and I can watch some more television instead of taking care of responsibilities—nah, too dangerous!” Don’t you wish everyone thought like that? Me too! Except people don’t! They send puppies priority mail in airless boxes with the added bonus of no food and/or water! Why? No idea! Perhaps the woman who did this thought it might be cheaper or easier to send a puppy this way. She actually went back for a refund of her money after being charged with animal cruelty! I cannot believe she did not know that mailing puppies is not the preferred way to get animals to their destination. She’s now trying to get the dog back, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen any time soon—or at all, if everyone involved is lucky.
God, seriously, let’s look at something happy for a second before my mind explodes into a giant volcano of rage and sadness. What have you got fur us today, internets? OH MY GOD, a cross-eyed opossum, you say? That can’t be! and yet! And here’s the story of Heidi the cross-eyed opossum’s rise to fame.
All better! send me links for next week and have a safe Wednesday out there!
So Necessary: the worst foot coverings in the world! Including leather socks and the most hideous Uggs yet! »
My favorite thing about the fashion world is that they are always finding innovative and impressively degenerate uses for animal carcasses. So here I am, back with more uggo and immorally expensive non-vegan fashion!
I mean, who DOESN’T need leather socks? Not only are they practical, but they definitely don’t make you look like a platypus. I imagine they are like little sweat-lodges for each foot—cozy! You guys, in some countries they don’t even have leather socks. They have to wear cloth socks. VOM. And at $219 a pair? These [dead] babies are priced to move. I can’t WAIT until they come out in kids sizes. A+ Rachel Comey! You go, girl. Give them what they never knew they wanted.
Guess what guys, I found some more awesome and inhumane socks for you! I’m the best. This pair of socks to the right is $500 from Rodarte. You know what I love about these socks? Besides the price? You can’t wash them! Genius! Socks you can’t wash. See, they are made from alpaca wool and angora. Angora comes from BUNNIES, yall; cute-ass bunnies like Nuage from Vegansaurus favorite Potentially Nervous. From what I understand, an angora rabbit owner can comb out hair when they molt or give a gentle haircut to their bun, but commercial angora production is very different. There’s factory farms, ripped-out hair, and ulcerated feet. Check out this video of what they say is an SPCA-approved shearing method in New Zealand. Um, that may be the kindest in commercial angora production but that video makes me really uncomfortable. I mean, I wouldn’t get on a limb stretcher like that without a safe word. And daddy issues. It’s effed.
What I’m really jazzed about, though, are these totally sweet Uggs! Jimmy Choo has joined forces with Uggs to create their new line, “Crimes Against Humanity.” Well that’s not the name of the line, but it should be. They should form a UN task force that exclusively addresses these atrocities—atrocities that clock in at a mean $595.
I have two comments on Uggs in general: under no circumstances should they ever be worn—Uggs are trashy and make you look like a 13-year-old mallrat from 2005, and there’s a world of snow boots out there, dive in; second, SHEARLING is FUR: pass it on. People don’t seem to understand this. I’m not going to say people are dumb, but: people are kind of dumb. It’s the skin of a sheep with the wool attached; that’s fur, brainiac. If you don’t wear fur, don’t wear shearling.
That’s all for So Necessary today! Way to be, fashion. Stay pretty!
Alice’s adventures cross-country! »
You know we love bunnies, and we particularly love the bunny stars of Potentially Nervous, best pals Bells and Nuage. Lately photo-updates have been terribly sparse, as they and their Alice move from New York to Portland, Ore. (a.k.a. Palm Beach County for vegan-hippies), but recently she posted some new ones, so we know they’re all still thriving.
Hello, rabbits! You do not look especially please to have your picture taken, but a bun’s expression can be awfully deceiving—has anyone known a bunny to smile?
Reportedly they are doing very well, and have recently reached South Dakota. You can keep track of them at Potentially Nervous blog.
Rabbit, delicious rabbit »
Welcome to our national nightmare: killing really cute animals, for the environment! What? Yes, and also to expand our narrow palates, which are so embarrassingly American (everything tastes like chicken!). If only we were as sophisticated as the French, while as self-reliant as migrant workers in a Dorothea Lange photograph (only less dusty because ugh)! Plus, the environment needs saving, and also Slow Food and eating locally and getting your food blog nominated for internet awards, plus being a total badass (read: getting a feature in Meatpaper magazine)—how can one person do it all? It is most perplexing.
Thank goodness The New York Times knows: kill, butcher, and eat your own rabbits! No, not even kidding a little bit; this is THE answer to all of the “problems” of wealthy, conscience-plagued omnivores with time on their hands and bloodlust in their hearts. It’s not evil, though, because the rabbits are raised on small farms, and the babies are left with their mothers for eight of the 12 weeks they live on those farms before they’re killed. It’s so humane! Serious Eats actually made a video of John Fazio’s rabbit farm, in which you can see some baby bunnies in a nest their mother made of her own fur. It’s super-great to see how “happy” the rabbits look in their tiny wire-floor cages! Honestly, I could not watch this video past 1:23, where Fazio reaches into such a nest to pet some of the babies; it was too depressing. You all are welcome to finish it, though, and report back on how it ends. This farm also features in the Times article; apparently his signature is selling rabbit carcasses with their heads still attached. Delightful.
Adorably, the Times Dining section photo editor also popped by to write a little post about all the different photos that Jennifer May took of the rabbits on Fazio’s farm. And with so many pictures, how to find the one that “carefully illustrate[s] this sensitive topic”—i.e., doesn’t make you rise up with pitchforks against everyone involved in the article? Turns out the ideal image is “the one that says ‘deal with it.’” HAR HAR, Dining section Photo Editor Tiina Loite! You are the wittiest! Just cold putting it out there, all that hard truth.
I think the best part of the pro-eating-rabbit argument is how it’s supposed to be all economic and awesome, but the “how to murder, cut up and cook bunnies” class cost $100 per person and some of its participants had to fly cross-country to attend. That is super-environmentally friendly, for sure. Beware the photos from this event—some of them are quite nasty. The Pasternaks, who run a rabbit farm in Marin County, actually “travel regularly to Haiti to teach families to raise rabbits on foraged food.” Clever! Of course, rabbits’ and humans’ diets do not differ so significantly, meaning that the food a rabbit is eating could be food for a human; “[a] seven-pound live rabbit might weigh four pounds cleaned;” and [i]n the kitchen, rabbit can be a challenge,” but YES, let’s teach poor people to raise rabbits for food. That is definitely a smart idea.
Whatever. Murder rabbits for fun and profit and patriotism and the economy and the environment and individualism and liberty and every other excuse you need to invent to get yourself through it. You know it’s disgusting. We know it’s disgusting. At least we can sleep at night, knowing our efforts to be better citizens of the world and eat lots of exciting foods don’t involve the slaughter of innocents.
Liquid Sanctimony, blatant hypocrisy, fur in fashion, bunny photos AND MORE in this week’s link-o-rama! »
Videogum does it again! Beloved pundit Stephen Colbert reads Cat Fancy magazine at the Olympic games, where he is a member of the U.S. speed skating coaching squad. We have no events for you this weekend—but there is a contest! So go enter it, and read some articles, maybe watch a couple videos, and enjoy your weekend. Vegansaurus loves (to argue with) you!
You know what you want? A bunny calendar, starring Bells, Nuage, and dearly departed Fats of Potentially Nervous! And you can win a page of that calendar (read: a quality bunny photo) by entering the PN guess-a-number sweepstakes by Monday night, Feb. 22! GO NOW BUNNIES.
More pretty photos, these from the BirdGuides 2009 Photo of the Year competition. Seriously, check out this puffin, it’s coming to getcha!
Aw, Kate Beaton did a comic about Vegansaurus’ hometown’s namesake, Saint Francis. He loved animals! Especially birds!
An Italian food writer gets fired because he gives a recipe for cat casserole, which he says is “better than chicken, rabbit or pigeon. Viewers totally freaked, to which I say, fuck you: chickens, rabbits and pigeons are people’s sweet pets too, and deserve the same respect not to be eaten. A million ways to serve bunny, but don’t talk about MITTENS LIKE THAT! Jerkbag hypocrites 4ever.
Hey, it’s a fucking fursplosion at Fashion Week! People wonder why fur is “still” an issue; maybe because designers are still using it? And it’s still revolting and entirely unnecessary? I don’t care if that coat was your great-great-grandmother’s treasured possession and a family heirloom, or if you love status symbols and it represents your triumph over economic adversity, or what: if you’re wearing fur, you’re an asshole.
Did you know that Wal-Mart is the largest grocery chain in the U.S.? True! It owns 30 percent of the food retail market. And thanks to the massive efforts of the Humane Society, our nation’s biggest grocery store will now be selling “cage-free” eggs under its Wal-Mart label. Way to go, HSUS!
A recipe for Liquid Sanctimony, which has nearly 30 ingredients. Said to be excellent for detoxing from “a hardcore tater tots/cigarettes/peanut M&Ms habit.”
The New York Times’ Lens blog features videojournalist Brent McDonald, author of “The Danger of Livestock Waste”—you know, that vide/article you emailed to everyone you’d ever met who still eats animal products.
OK sit down, and prepare yourself for the brilliant logic that is about to smack you in the face, direct from Smart Money: “I couldn’t even watch a YouTube video of a chicken slaughter. Does this mean I shouldn’t eat meat? Perhaps. But Nathaniel Lewis, who hosts workshops on his Washington farm, says not to worry: Most of us couldn’t bring ourselves to perform heart surgery, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” GENIUS.
Or what about this, from an NYT op-ed: instead of making factory-farmed animals’ lives less shitty, let’s genetically engineer them to be unable to feel pain! They’ll still be aware of danger and so understand terror and threat of death, but when they’re abused, it won’t hurt so much. Guilt: eradicated! I can’t wait till we do this with people!!
Green Is the New Red blog has some questions about the “systemic disparities” in the application of the “terrorist” label.
If you can stand the piss-poor sound, check out this video interview with David “foot-in-mouth disease” Chang in which he opines on the costs of meat.
In LA and DC, groups are helping veterans adopt shelter dogs! Apparently having a dog can seriously mitigate the effects of PTSD.
Scientific American says that dogs can also teach people how to play fair. “[W]hen we study dogs, wolves and coyotes, we discover behaviors that hint at the roots of human morality.”
You guys, I am moving to Portland to work in a factory. For Bob’s Red Mill, specifically; Bob is transitioning to an employee stock-ownership program, meaning the workers will own the company. As though there weren’t a million reasons to love Bob’s Red Mill already.
This’d be a wacky story about a zebra stopping traffic on an Atlanta freeway, except that the poor zebra was running away from the fucking circus. We’re sorry you were returned to those animal-torturing psychos, zebra.
After its “Animal Minds” episode last month, Radiolab’s had three follow-up shorts that you should definitely check out. The most recent features a video (on the radio? what? science!) about a chimpanzee called Lucy.
Je vous présente à Antoine Goetschel, Swiss animal lawyer, and yet another reason why Europe wins.
Taxing meat, hacking Ike’s, saving birds & bunnies, junk science and MORE in this week’s link-o-rama »
I missed you guys! So much, I made this big old link-o-rama just for you! That means extra swears, I know how much you love the dirty stuff.
LATE EDIT, UGH: In Defense of Animals and the SF Vegetarian Society are co-hosting a vegan halloween party on Saturday, Oct. 31! Check out A.Muse Gallery at 614 Alabama St. tomorrow from 7 to 11 p.m. for comestibles (Sugar Beat Sweets!), a silent auction, a raffle, a costume contest, and MORE! The entry fee is a sliding scale starting at $7, and all proceeds “go to the animals.” Not sure what that means, exactly, but if you are into costumes and vegans, this sounds like the place to be.
A dude who owns a fish restaurant was caught hell of illegally fishing, and SF Gate commenters are up in ARMS about it. The way they are all “PUT HIM IN THE STOCKS” [sic] and PROSECUTE TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW and shit, it’s as though the fish were their own mothers (they are their murdered dinners).
“Revival pork products”? FUCKING DISGUSTING.
Hey, selfish first-world lard-ass: Peter Singer is ready for you to grow a conscience, and if it means taxing the hell out of your meat—what with it being both a product and cause of death and destruction—then by golly you will pay $50 a pound for that “organic” “grass-fed” “sustainably grown” piece of a “happy cow.”
Here is an adorable list of San Francisco food firsts. Did you know they invented the martini here? Notably absent is the debut of Greens, the first fine-dining vegetarian restaurant in the U.S. Still, we also invented Chinese delivery! Such a city we have.
We just want to remind you about Daiya Cheddar Biscuits. We’ve made about 15 batches this week and they just keep getting better. So fast and easy and delicious, no reason not to! Make them with this vegan gravy recipe and get ready for worlds. to. collide.
Back to the terrible: An undercover investigation by the Humane Society resulted in the temporary shut-down of an especially fucked up slaughterhouse in Vermont. The best part is that the plant was for killing veal calves, who were horribly tortured before their painful deaths. AWESOME.
But what’s that you say, Ezra Klein, humane veal? No joke, you guys, especially you vegetarians: “If you consume dairy, you should eat veal.” Because otherwise what happens to the bouncing baby boy calves born of the must-give-birth-to-give-milk dairy cows? The onus is totally on YOU THE CONSUMER who already DOES NOT EAT VEAL, duh. The world is so fucking simple sometimes!! [thanks for the tip, Tessa!]
The International Bird Rescue Research Center needs your help! There’s been a big algal bloom in the Pacific off the Oregon and Washington coasts, and it’s covered thousands of seabirds with “an unusual sea slime.” The effect on the birds is similar to that of an oil spill—it’s really awful. What you can do is give the IBRRC your money, to fund its team and local rescue groups. Save the seabirds!
On Monday, Nov. 2 at noon, Go Vegan radio host Bob Linden and the San Francisco Green Party Animal Advocacy Working Group will lead a “peaceful protest” against KPFA for airing anti-veg propaganda, a.k.a. a bunch of dumb lies. The protest happens outside the KPFA studios at 1929 Martin Luther King Jr. Way in Berkeley.
Let’s look at restaurant reviews in the Chronicle! Except, hang on, what’s Michael Bauer written about this week? The SFUSD’s gross-ass lunches! The school offers both milk and chocolate milk, which is federally mandated despite having “high fructose corn syrup listed as the second ingredient and corn syrup as the third.” Dang you guys, that is nasty. Help fix things with the Healthy School Lunches program, OK? Because ALL KIDS deserve good, cruelty-free food, and improving our free, mandatory public education institutions benefits all of us. For real.
SaveABunny needs your help! The SF Animal Care and Control shelter is overflowing with rabbits who need foster (and forever!) homes. Please contact Marcy Schaaf at 415.388.2790 or via the SaveABunny website to volunteer. Buns are the sweetest, we swear. Can you deny?
Our BFFs at Sugar Beat Sweets will have fancy, original, super-duper t-shirts soon! Designed exclusively for them by Herbivore Clothing’s Josh Hooten! We will take two in every color, please (dinosaurs are notoriously messy eaters).
Can you help a bunny out? »
Your Vegansaurus has an especial fondness for rabbits, Nibbler naturally being the A-number-one best bunny, but certainly not the only leporid we love.
Potentially Nervous is the home of buns Bells, Nuage, and Fats, and their caretaker “Alice.” Bells and Nuage are best pals, and Fats is a man on his own. Their blog comprises mostly pictures, with captions that create a charming narrative. High-quality photos of adorable rabbits would be irresistible anyway, but Alice’s captions make the blog appealing to those of us who want to do more than dissolve into a pile of mush looking at cutie-pie bunnies. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just that, you know, sometimes a person wants more than Cute Overload-speak.
To be honest, Fats has become my favorite bun—maybe because Nibbler is also a lone rabbit; maybe because his antics are the best documented: Look at that bunny go!
Now we come to the crux of the matter: poor Fats is ailing, and Alice needs your help. A wound from a recent injury has, instead of healing, gotten worse and worse, and Fats’ vet care has become very expensive. Ms. Alice, not a person of great wealth, does not have the means to keep her rabbits in food and keep up with the medical treatments Fats needs. In such a situation, what is a bunny caretaker to do?
Please note, Vegansaurus does ask readers for money; however, Alice’s story is so painfully sad, it seemed heartless not to make you aware of it. Maybe you can help a bunny out? A bag of pellets costs around $13; that is not, generally speaking, an exorbitant amount to give. Of course, that’s your decision, and Vegansaurus is not demanding that you donate. Just look at your bank account, then look at this face, and make up your mind.
Vegansaurus loves you, Fats.