Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi are opening a vegan restaurant in Los Angeles! »
How fucking cool is THIS?! It’ll be on Ventura Avenue in the San Fernando Valley, and I will move to Los Angeles to eat there. And you think I’m joshing, but I am totally serious. Fuck a San Francisco Bay Area, I need to have dinner with Ellen and Portia like I’M MEANT TO.
I will move there and we will eat every meal at their restaurant and we’ll be best friends and they’ll adopt me and we will have so many hugs and then we will watch television and swim in the infinity pool at the mansion-house they bought me.
Oh! And then they will bake me chocolate chip cookies and they’ll tuck me into bed and I really have to stop doing this because it’s really making me hate my life. Ugh.
Anyway, another awesome vegan restaurant for Los Angeles, owned by famous vegans, and life is great there and it’s the worst everywhere else. TH-TH-THAT’S ALL, FOLKS!