Russell Simmons tells NY to get off the cow teat! »
Earlier this month, Russell Simmons wrote a letter to New York governor Andrew Cuomo telling him that milk should no longer be the state’s official beverage. In other news, milk is New York State’s official beverage. No but really, did you know that? I didn’t. Wait, does every state have an official beverage? Looks like a lot of them do, and for the vast majority, it’s milk. Grody! However, California’s is wine—go ‘head, Cali! Get your drink on!
I used to be all about almond milk but now I’m all about coconut milk. It RULES. So! I think the oficial state drink should be coconut milk! There, it’s settled. I’m a (super) genius!
One Green Planet has a nice guide to help people dump the cow milk and get down with some plant milk! So if you know anyone looking to make the change, there you go.
Russell Simmons is still vegan, still rules »
I love Russell Simmons but I grew up a hip-hopper so it’s kind of a given. But you better believe I love him even more now that I’m vegan. CNN’s Eatocracy interviewed him all about his vegan diet and it’s great and he’s the best! Here’s an excerpt:
I feel better. My friends say I look better. All that’s true. But I’m a vegan for compassionate reasons.
Like I said, for the planet and for the Karma. It’s to not cause too much harm. The first part of every scripture, in terms of the science that they give for happiness, is to not cause harm. You gain happiness by eliminating or relieving suffering. You want to relieve suffering; you don’t want to be the cause. If all the oil is being used—beside what the army is using—in the manufacturing of food, we’re fighting wars over your diet. It sounds like a big stretch but it’s not when you find out the amount of oil that you use. Then you think about the global warming issue, and you think about the 15 billion animals that are born into suffering.
OMJesus do you love it? You love it.
I don’t believe in much, but what do you guys think about karma? I know we throw the word around and it prob doesn’t mean exactly what we think, but in the way it’s used popularly, what do you think? You think vegans have better karma? I don’t know; I know I do feel better about myself so I’d have to agree with his “gain happiness” statement. It makes me happy that I’m not contributing to suffering (or at least contributing as little as I can) and that I can function beyond the “but cheese is good” mentality.
He also talks about how great Tofutti Cuties are: “You can’t beat a Tofutti Cutie. You frontin’ if you say so.” TRUTH.
[via Vegetarian Star!]
Russell Simmons, who’s totally the man, was on the Martha Stewart Show last Tuesday and they made vegan kamut berry pilaf with butternut squash and cauliflower. Butternut squash and cauliflower sound hella good together! I will say it now: I love Martha Stewart. Always have. So I especially love when she does vegan stuff. I love Russell Simmons too, though isn’t he a bit strange? And he says he hates vinegar; who hates vinegar?! Vinegar rules. I was even on the Bragg apple cider vinegar diet once! Well I don’t know if it was a diet, I just drank the stuff, like, a lot. I guess by those standards, I’ve been on a beer diet for quite some time! I must say, it’s doing wonders!
Meet your new ruling class overlords: The Power Vegans »
Businessweek informs us of an important new trend among CEOs in our ruling class elite: they’re going vegan. Already bored of private jets and trophy wives, these wealthy and powerful men (yes, just men) are looking to veganism to remind the rest of us down here exactly how wealthy and powerful they are. Veganism, you see, is the new status symbol, available only to those who can afford such luxuries with such exotic names like “tofurkey” or “rice and beans.”
Or so Businessweek says. The truth is probably much more mundane than that. If 1 percent of America is vegan, well statistically speaking, that should include 1 percent of CEOs. OK, so Steve Wynn, John Mackey and Biz Stone are vegan, but of that group, Mackey and Stone were vegan before finding their success. So where’s the trend?
If anything, the wealthy business community is going the opposite direction, by riding the Ayn Rand wave that’s been sweeping the (wealthy/white) nation since Day 1 of Obama’s presidency. Fantasizing over “going Galt” is just the gateway drug to social Darwinism, and by extension, dietary Darwinism: the conceit that we must dominate and eat captive animals to prove that humans are always and forever “the fittest.”
I suppose we should be thankful for any positive mainstream media coverage on veganism, but really, it would be great to knock it off with the “men who choose veganism do so for manly masculine reasons, such as power! and strength! and display of riches to attract a suitable mate to bear our male heirs!” message. Whether it’s “hegans” or “power vegans,” all these attempts to rebrand veganism for men (for manly masculine men) just come off as defensive.
Or like we’re over-compensating. Because everyone knows that cooking food and other maternal things, like fussing over cute little animals, is and should always remain the province of women and their ovaries. Never mind that the choice to go vegan is nearly always one of both reason and emotion: “we just don’t have enough land and water to keep eating like this”/”torturing animals in factories is depressing and horrific”— thoughts that are equally available in the healthy brains of both genders.
It’s hard to say what this made-up-the-night-before-deadline trend piece is for, other than to annoy vegan bloggers, delight Ingrid Newkirk, and get Joel Stein paid. No one reads Businessweek after all, unless they’re stuck waiting in a dentist’s office for more than 20 minutes. But if idolizing rich and powerful men is what it takes to peel away a handful of new vegans, then I guess we’ll take it. I’m especially looking forward to my review copy of the Power Vegan Cookbook. It’s amazing what you can whip up if you keep your kitchen pantry stocked with personal chefs and an American Express Centurion Card.
Why vegans are DOMINATING »
With the news of Jessica Simpson becoming vegan [Ed.: lolz!], I want to remind all the vegans out there why we still win in this crazy competition called life.
To begin: Cesar mother-fucking Chavez. BOOYAH! It makes a million dollars worth of sense to me that Chavez, activist for immigrant labor rights, was vegan, as the meat industry is notorious for abusing immigrant labor.
Chavez strikes a blow to that tired old bullsheezy that veganism is for rich white people. Every time I hear this, I’m like STFU because the first vegans I ever met were Black Panthers. Again I say, BOOYAH.
Next, Ellen Degeneres! If you don’t like Ellen, you’re totally crazy and most definitely have a heart made of cold hard steel. Ellen is the greatest. Remember when they told her her career would end if she came out? SHUT UP stupid jerks! Ellen came out and she’s taking over the world. If Oprah is the queen, Ellen is the princess and she’s gunning for that throne. Plus, her wifey is hot as all get out.
Are you ready for my next entry? Leonardo da Vinci! I KNOW, RIGHT? OK, oK, scholars are only sure he was vegetarian but I’m inferring that he didn’t eat milk or eggs because of this:
da Vinci even entertained the notion that taking milk from cows amounts to stealing. Under the heading, “Of the beasts from whom cheese is made,” he answers, “the milk will be taken from the tiny children.”
Now maybe I’m wrong but if history is any indication, I’M ALWAYS RIGHT. And you can’t get better than da Vinci; we could totally beat the non-vegans with him alone! He’s THE MAN.
On to a modern-day superstar: Russell Simmons! Besides pioneering rap, the most popular music everrrr, did you watch him on the Rev. Run show? He’s SO COOL! Always giving kids good advice and stuff. Plus, another blow to the white vegan stereotype. I would totally marry him if he weren’t so into meditation. Meditation makes me want to stab my eyes out with a broach. Which is to say, it’s kind of boring.
This one totally seals the deal, like no question we’re DOMINATING: Prince! I knowwww, we rule! Prince. PRINCE! I can’t take it. And don’t hate, “Diamonds and Pearls” is my fucking jam.
Now for the king of all things indie: Jason Schwartzman! I’ve been somewhat obsessed with him since Rushmore. He’s so great! Remember that part, “O R they” bwahahaha! Seriously, I love this guy. One day we’ll meet and he’ll immediately see that we’re perfect for each other. I WOULDN’T MAKE UP A THING LIKE THAT!
Next: Daryl Hannah! Star of Splash, the best movie ever made! She’s also in 8 mile. Case closed! [Update! Daryl Hannah was not in 8 mile, it was Kim Basinger. Sorry I’m on crack all the time! Just kidding, I’m not sorry. Thanks for the correction Ready4uu78!]
Last but most hot, Joaquin damn-I’d-tap-that Phoenix! Jeez louise he’s the HOTNESS. I don’t even care about his insane “rap” “career,” I’d bang him, beard and all. I hear he’s also an actor—kudos!
That is all for today, but that’s more than enough to prove we’re winning. I’m totally expecting there to be lots of “she/he’s not vegan!” comments and that’s OK, because the more you know, the more you grow.