Rumor alert: Ellen may not be opening a vegan restaurant after all!  »

Word on the street (and by street I mean the internet highway) is that Ellen and Portia’s SoCal vegan restaurant may not be happening after all! Oh no! I was looking forward to this collaboration of superstars—Ellen, Portia, Chrissy Hynde, Steven Bing, Tal Ronnen and Waldo Fernandez. I was also looking forward to hooking up with a Sugar Daddy, because I knew there was no way in hell I’d be able to afford eating at that joint, being a restaurant worker myself.

As excited as I may have been about a new vegan hotspot opening up, I did have my reservations. Everyone wants to open a restaurant. Everyone thinks they’ll be great at it, but the truth is, most new restaurants don’t make it in their first year.  It’s hard work. Nevermind that the people who can handle working in the restaurant industry are bat shit crazy. The turnover rate is astronomical. If you haven’t read Laura’s “Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Be a Professional Chef" for SF Weekly, get on that! She got some flack in the comments section that it was unrealistic, but those people are dead wrong.
My point is that working in this industry is my career, and I love it, but it has been both the best and worst experience of my life. It’s tough, mentally and physically. So if Ellen and Portia want to keep their sanity, maybe they should run the other way. Plus, I’d hate for them to be the jerk owners who show off their shiny new cars, while their staff juggles two jobs—because let me tell you, this industry does not pay well (that is a paraphrased sentiment from Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, but also true of my own experience. You can love or hate that guy, but Kitchen Confidential is THE first-hand account of working in the industry, and I for one, really enjoyed its harsh honesty).

{Photo via}


8 best fake meat sandwiches in SF?  »

It’s a day of lists and of linking to weeklies! SF Weekly has up this list of the Top 8 Fake Meat Sandwiches. Agree? Disagree? Want me to stop linking to top whatever lists? WELL FUCK IT IT’S FRIDAY. 

[Rhea’s sandwich! delicious!]


Hodo Soy Beanery going into Costco!  »

Hodo just sent off their first shipment to S.F. Bay Area Costcos today and if they sell well, Costco will pick them up for regular procurement and possibly expand beyond the bay area! So yeah, if you’re already shopping at Costco, buy tons of it along with your 50 cases of toilet paper and your 10,000 cans of Hansen’s Natural (“Natural”?) Sodas! America, FUCK YEAH!

For a list of stores carrying it and more info on what exactly’s available, check out the (my!) story at SF Weekly


If you’re going to get arrested, do it in San Francisco  »

According to SF Weekly, you can get vegan food in the San Francisco County jails! Here’s how it happened

According to Eileen Hirst, chief of staff at the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department, S.F. County jails didn’t always have vegan meals. “In the mid-’90s, the organization PETA S.F. activists* was demonstrating outside Neiman Marcus,” she tells SF Weekly. “A large group was arrested, and they asked for vegan meals.” Sheriff Michael Hennessey looked into getting vegan meals for the PETA protesters, and found that it could be easily done.

So thanks to the PETA protesters local activists, S.F. jails now serve vegan meals. “Vegans do get arrested from time to time, so we never thought of ending [the vegan meals] even though the fur protests are over,” Hirst says.

Vegan food other places? Not so much. Something to think about when you plan your next crime spree.

Kitty in jail photo by phphoto2010 on Kitty are you sad about no vegan food?

*including the amazing Anita Carswell, a force of nature not to be messed with!!


Tonight in SF: make vegan corn dogs FOR FREE (FOR REAL)!  »

All of the details are at SF Weekly, where I’m the interim food editor and that is why you haven’t seen much Laura B. around here and also why this sentence doesn’t make lots of sense MY BRAIN IT HURTS. Anyway, it’s a good thing for you because the rest of the people/dinos on this site are better at everything, SO ANYWAY: EVERYONE COME TONIGHT! Get fat on vegan corn dogs and be very happy! And if you can’t make it, learn more about Vegan Hacker anyway, because there will be more events and they will be HELLA FRESH!


Ubuntu in Napa revisited AGAIN  »

Quick recap: Ubuntu is this fancy-fancy vegetarian vegetables restaurant in Napa that I have a tumultuous relationship with. However, I recently returned and had probably the best meal of my life—they tried to knock me out with flavor flav and almost succeeded! The meal was UNSANE and you can read all about it at SF Weekly! Oh, and you can look at my fairly crappy pictures here and ALSO, I posted some below. Bam!

This is my current amateur opinion on the state of Ubuntu: You just gotta go balls-out, throw caution (read: your wallet) to the wind and order at least the prix fixe menu, preferably the chef’s tasting menu, which can be done vegan in a way that doesn’t sacrifice the dishes at all. You can’t go to Ubuntu hoping to piece a meal together from the a la carte menu, you gotta GO BIG OR GO HOME (hungry). Being in the SF Bay Area, we’re super lucky to live so close to a restaurant where vegans can really do it up, and eat a meal that rivals those available in the best restaurants in the world.* Anyway, if you don’t have a sugar daddy or a trust fund, you best get one and fast. Also, if you are either a sugar daddy or a trust fund, let’s get it on! I am willing to completely bankrupt myself in every way for another taste of that sweet sweet Ubuntu lovin’. 



*I mean, I guess, I don’t even know if the food in those restaurants is that great. I’ve eaten in some of them as an omnivore and enjoyed the meals less than I did an order of veggie chow fun from Golden Era or the tamales at Gracias Madre but I’m no foodie asshole expert.


Dude, the Mission Vegan Burger is coming back at a BOWLING ALLEY IN THE MISSION? This shit is bananas.
Uh, if you know me, you know I’m obsessed with that fucking burger. I talk about it ALL THE TIME. Plus, I even know how to kinda make it. I don’t know, I’m just in a really good place right now.

Dude, the Mission Vegan Burger is coming back at a BOWLING ALLEY IN THE MISSION? This shit is bananas.

Uh, if you know me, you know I’m obsessed with that fucking burger. I talk about it ALL THE TIME. Plus, I even know how to kinda make it. I don’t know, I’m just in a really good place right now.



Have you ever thought, “Geez, I’d like to get to know that Laura better! No, you haven’t! Well, here’s your chance! I’ve got a interview up over at SF Weekly! In it, I am very funny and clever, my turn of phrase and witty parlance (is this the correct way to use that word?) will shock and amuse the nation. HAVE I SOLD IT OR WHAT?!? Enjoy!


Top 10 links of the week: a rollercoaster ride through veganism!  »

[Deer and Goose are BFF. Your cute animal viral video of the week!]

Ecorazzi had a post today where they quoted yours truly! In Martha Stewart, Honey and the Great Vegan Debate, they discuss the state of honey in the vegan community. Is honey vegan? Do bees count? Go comment and weigh in!

From City’s Best, “10 Meatless Musts in San Francisco." Vegansaurus is about to drop a similar list so be on the lookout. Ours will of course be not only informative but also the funniest ever.

Recently, Huffpo did a piece about the best sandwiches in the U.S. and none were vegan. Now they’re all vegan! Huzzah! A bunch of vegan bloggers—like, everyone besides us—created vegan versions of each sandwich. Maybe next time we’ll be included, eh? Just kidding! Cooking is for the womenfolk.

Our Hen House (who I hear was at the Martha Stewart episode with me but I didn’t meet them!) has started a cool endeavor, The Gay Animal Series, about the relationship between gay rights and animal rights. Check it out! You will feel so cultured and smart, you can skip the next This America Life! Which works out great for me because when you rehash the episode to me in detail, that’s not actually a conversation.

The Village Voice has an NYC guide to tofu—imagine that! I love me some tofu so I’m all over this one. It’s all the best tofu from various restaurants throughout the city. I haven’t been to any of them. How come you never take me out anymore!

Head over to A Soy Bean for a recap of the NYC Vegetarian Food Fest last weekend. Treehugger has a review too but no pictures! There’s a few videos, but no pictures? We love the pictures! Abby Bean has a ton of pictures. Pictures.

Cheeky Chicago has a nice post on how to make a variety of vegan cheese-substitutes. Walnut Parmesan Sprinkles? YES DEFINITELY GIVE IT HERE.

For a little homespun fun, check out Laura’s The Week in Vegan at SF Weekly. Leave a comment, let her know you care! And let SF Weekly know we vegans are plentiful and emotive.

Babe in Soyland has a great post about veganism and the idea that it means AUTOMATIC weight-loss. Here’s a taste: “People need to know that vegans come in ALL shapes and sizes and that fat vegans (the ones I’ve met are proud to be both fat and vegan) aren’t doing something “wrong” in their vegan diets. There is no “stereotypical vegan”—unless the stereotype is having awesomely low cholesterol.” Read it and tell me what you think.

Finally, from Lovely Bike, a list of vegan bike saddles! That means bike seats. I’m partial to this first one they’ve picked out, it’s the hotness:


Seven best Bay Area veggie burgers & Mission Burger’s vegan burger recipe! BURGERS!  »

Obviously I’m trying to optimize SEO for anyone searching for “burger” and when I do things, I go big or go home! So usually I just go home but today: GOOGLE BETTER WATCH ITS BACK.

Anyway! I wrote some stuff up for SFoodie, first being (WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE) the seven best veggie burgers in the Bay Area. Next: a cobbled-together recipe for the dearly departed Mission Vegan Burger. I got the recipe from the nice dudes at Mission Street Food, and then tried to scale it down because that shit was originally for 70 patties and lord knows I can EAT but 70? Touché, Mission Street Food dudes. Touché. Oooh, perhaps we sell them at the next SF Vegan Bakesale?? We just need an industrial deep fryer. You got one? Wanna be my boyfriend?* Please note: if you have one and bring it to the sale, I WILL steal it. OMG, I’ll be deep-frying errrthang in site. You’ll be like, “Laura, where did you go?” and I’ll be all, “Oh sorry, I was just deep-frying my face!” Except I’ll probably be deep-frying a candy bar because ew, health code violation!

Please forgive me, it’s been a rough day. Take us away, picture of the Plant Burger (which may or may be on the list)!
photo from Ed U. on Yelp via SFoodie!

*Sorry, Jonas! I’m sure you understand, you’d do the same to me. It’s either leave or be left, baby!

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